Image via Complex Original
Park the Prius and save the pious bumper stickers—tomorrow is Earth Day, and what better way to celebrate than by using as much gasoline as humanly possible? BURN THE DINOSAURS! Oops, sorry, got a bit carried away there. But look, just because a car sucks down fossil fuels faster than Terrio can finish a milkshake doesn't make it any less desirable. In fact, sometimes it makes it that much moreso: Who doesn't love a little conspicuous consumption?
In order to stick to real numbers (or as close as possible) we avoided the land yachts and muscle cars of the '60s and '70s, choosing instead to focus on late-model rides. From boxy 4x4s to sleek sports cars, all kinds of vehicles are represented, as long as they can drain the tank in the same amount of time it took to read these two paragraphs. Here are 10 Cars With Terrible Gas Mileage That We Want Anyway.
Lamborghini Aventador
MPG: 11 city/18 highway
While it is not true that mashing the Aventador's gas pedal will make the gauge noticably drop, it's still a good idea to always be aware where the next rest stop is—and stop at all of them. Otherwise the best fuel-saving measure might be to get it up to its 217 miles-per-hour top speed, shut it down, and coast. And if you want to get around with the top down, the city MPG for the Roadster model goes down to 10 mpg.
Hummer H1
MPG: 9 city/12 highway
Much has been made about the deplorable gas mileage of the Hummer H2, but the H2 is a terrible truck that pales in comparison to its military-issue big brother. Which, for the record, gets even worse mileage. But unlike the H2, which is a soccer mom SUV in disguise, the H1 is an authentic piece of military history that should come with a box of Cohibas and a machine gun turret. At 7,000 pounds and more than seven feet wide, it's the perfect commuter. Roll like Schwarzenegger.
Ferrari FF
MPG: 11 city/18 highway
Ferrari's fanciful shooting brake doesn't get any worse gas mileage than its other cars, but the FF's audacious styling earns it a top spot. There's just something extra about springing for the Ferrari with the bubble butt and four seats that screams IDGAF.
Dodge Ram SRT-10 Quad Cab
MPG: 9 city/12 highway
The quad-cab version of the Dodge Ram SRT-10 should probably be the official car of Earth Day. As if stuffing an 8.3L, 500hp Viper engine into a Ram truck weren't enough, Dodge had to go and make a crew cab version for those family outings. And, insult to injury, only offer a four-speed automatic transmission. That said, you haven't lived until you've drag raced a Corvette while towing a boat.
Ford F-250 Lariat Diesel (Late '00s)
MPG: 9 city/11 highway (because it weighs more than 8,500 pounds, it doesn't have/require an official EPA rating, this is an estimate from Gas2)
The single working-class vehicle on this list, the Ford F250 Lariat Diesel is just a giant pickup that gets horrible gas mileage (although it has apparently improved since 2010 when it was the worst). What could be more American than that? Load up the bed with cases of Coors Light and head to the beach - it'll burn even MORE diesel in low gear on the sand!
Mercedes-Benz CL65 AMG
MPG: 12 city/18 highway
Drop a 600hp twin-turbo V12 in a CL-class Mercedes and get the illest coupe imaginable. (The EPA classifies it as a compact—ask for one at Avis!) This comes at a cost though, even morseo than the $200k-plus purchase price. For starters, insurance is going to be a killer. And it's probably best to just hire a tanker truck as a pursuit vehicle, since the CL65 isn't a car to be driven sedately. Ever.
Bentley Mulsanne
MPG: 11 city/18 highway
The Bentley Mulsanne is named for the "Mulsanne Straight," part of the Circuit de la Sarthe, a race track in the north west of France used for the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Fitting, as the new Mulsanne is about as fuel efficient as a vintage race car. Way more comfy, though—and much better looking than other pricey guzzlers (Maybach, cough).
Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen
MPG: 12 city/15 highway
Proper SUVs should pay no attention to aerodynamics. The most coveted ones, like the Land Rover Defender—and the Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen—are boxy, upright, and powered by V8 engines. The G-Wagen wins out over the Defender here in part because the AMG variants are properly overpowered, and in part because of this.
Rolls-Royce Phantom
MPG: 11 city/19 highway
Terrible gas mileage is easy to achieve: Just drop a giant engine (a 450hp V12) in an even more giant car (nearly three tons) and tack on every option ever imagined by anyone ever. No wonder why sultans like these—having your own oil reserves is clutch.
Bugatti Veyron
MPG: 7 city/15 highway
OK, anyone who spends $2 million plus on a Veyron probably isn't concerned with gas mileage. And the fossil-fuel thirst is very, very real in a two-ton car that puts out a thousand horsepower. It's likely that the gas mileage could be improved by driving somewhat responsibly, but hahahahahahahahahaha.