The Worst Cars for Sale on eBay Right Now

From tiny microcars to giant super-duty trucks, eBay teaches us time and again that true suckiness comes in all shapes and sizes. Budget considerations don't seem to matter, either. Sucktasticness is a great equalizer. Take a look at our latest roundup of eye-gouging calamities in this edition of The 25 Worst Cars on eBay Right Now.

RELATED: The 10 Coolest Military Vehicles for Sale on eBay Right Now

Location: Tempe, Ariz.
Price: Buy It Now for $49,898 or Make An Offer

Looking at this photo, you may be wondering what this classic Mini is doing on this list. Knowing that the seller swapped a Honda VTEC B16 engine into it may further make you wonder. The photos in this listing are amazing car porn if you like nicely modified classic Minis. So what's the problem? There are a couple. For one, the seller can't decide if it's a 1964 or a 1969 (seriously, the auction switches between the two years a few times). The biggest problem is this: "too much to list." Dude, if you're asking $50K for something, the least you can do is list what you did to this car to justify that asking price. It's nice to know that there's a B16 in it, but do we know which one? The seller couldn't be bothered to tell us. This car itself is probably awesome, but the listing really sucks.

Location: Central Point, Ore.
Price: Starting bid is $3,500

This looks like a life-sized Japanese superdeformed toy truck. We can't make up our minds if that makes it extremely cool or horribly hideous.

Location: Hialeah, Fla.
Price: Starting bid is $6,000

We love some quirkmobiles, but this is a quirkmobile with a side order of "look at me, I'm completely bizarre," and a chaser of "OMGWTF, did someone water a Power Wheels car and make it grow into this?!" Maybe we could take it a little more seriously without all the flags everywhere.

Location: Bergen, N.Y.
Price: Current bid $769.00

We're all about saving wounded warriors, but this one might just be a lost cause. Plus, it might be difficult to work through the tears, as we unwantingly play various crash scenarios through our heads.

Location: Columbia Station, Ohio
Price: Current bid is $2,125; reserve not yet met. Buy it Now for $12,299

We know it's being sold for parts, but this is still one of the most depressing types of car photos you'll see on eBay.

Location: Mays Landing, N.J.
Price: Current bid is $2000; Buy It Now for $10,000

The Lambo doors on this Silverado look like they could take your head off if you tried to get in too fast. We're just saying.

Location: Portage, Wis.
Price: Current bid is $1,247; reserve not yet met

Seller says this body is in rough condition, but that it's a pretty rare body style. Full of rust, with no actual title; seller only said "salvage" to fill the space when listing it. We're pretty sure this body is mainly made of rust that's held together by small pieces of metal.

Location: Clinton, Mo.
Price: Starting bid is $325

This body comes with no motor or transmission, but seller says it has everything else. Well, except a title. We're not sure why the seller lists an engine when it apparently doesn't have one.

Location: Chicago, Ill.
Price: Buy it Now for $2,000

Good news! No suspension damage! But the engine won't start, and the driver's side airbag deployed. At least it's a late-model vehicle, right? Right.

Location: Franklinton, N.C.
Price: Buy It Now for $7,990

If you need a tiny electric pickup truck with a max speed of 25mph, this is your ride. We're pretty sure one of those giant tortoises from the Galapagos islands is actually faster than this thing.

Location: Worcester, Mass.
Price: Current bid is $1,300; reserve not yet met

Go, go, gadget engine! Oh. Wait.

Location: Elmhurst, Ill
Price: Current Bid at $15,999

There might be just as many 300s with lambo doors as regular models these days. So, not only are you making your car look ridiculous, you're also being a conformist and blending in with the rest of the crowd. But sweet ride, man!

Location: Sherwood, Alaska
Price: Buy It Now for $12,999 or Make An Offer

The seller wants you to know that this Silverado 3500 HD LTZ Duramax Diesel comes with every available option. That's, um, good to know.

Location: New Milford, Conn.
Price: Current bid is $500; reserve not yet met.

Seller says this car hasn't run in 15 years. We're willing to bet it's been longer than that. Just think of all the poor, defenseless mice you'll be displacing if you win this auction.

Location: Kent, Wash.
Price: Current bid is $810

We'd love to know what it is about PT Cruisers that makes people do stuff like this to them. On second thought, no. No, we wouldn't.

Location: Morrice, Mich.
Price: Current bid is $669; reserve not yet met

This poor shell of an Isetta is on jack stands in someone's yard, which is a bit better than sitting on concrete blocks. Still, there's something especially sad about a tiny little bubble car sitting on jack stands and rusting away its days.

Location: Westminster, Md.
Price: Starting bid of $3,900

If you're the biggest Washington Redskins fan ever, this may be the Lincoln Town Car for you. If you're anyone else, keep looking.

Location: Cedar Hill, TX
Price: Current bid is $4,150; reserve not yet met

It's a Lamborghini Murcielago replica on a 1986 Pontiac Fiero frame, powered by a Pontiac V6. We understand the point of a kit car, and we respect the work that goes into building one, but we'd feel cheated as hell by that engine.

Location: Salem, N.H.
Price: Starting bid is $30,000

The Hummer H3 is the bastard child of the Hummer line. It really never should have been made, and this particular "SEMA show car" seems to still be having some daddy issues, judging by its serious identity crisis. It's jacked up and has all the brush guards and lighting to make it look like a solid off-road vehicle. It's got about 800 guages in the instrument cluster, perfect for those import tuner street racing nights, and it has enough TV and audio equipment to run a private concert. We want nothing to do with this chromed-out monstrosity.

Location: Moravia, N.Y.
Price: Current bid is $1,125; reserve not yet met. Buy it Now for $4,000

We think the seller's succinct description speaks for itself. "Car was involved in accident, car was damaged." Thanks for clearing that up.

Location: Verona, N.Y.
Price: Current bid at $4,500.00

This guy didn't even try to pretend like he was building a race car. This custom is purely asthetic. Four cylinders, automatic transmission, and no engine mods. And it looks like that.

Location: Germantown, Md.
Price: Current bid is $1,580; reserve not yet met

What more is there to say? The photo says it all.

Location: Goodyear, Ariz.
Price: $500

What's that, you say? An '06 WRX for $500? Oh. At least it comes with a Florida Certificate of Destruction. Incidentally, that's what we're going to name our death metal band.

Location: East Brunswick, N.J>
Price: Current bid is $5,988 with the reserve not yet met; Buy It Now for $13,995

This kit car is so over the top, even the Pontiac Fiero fanbase has no love for it. Regarding other stuff the seller mentions: as far as we can tell, the Concept 2000 GT has nothing whatsoever to do with the Wraith II kit, which never came to fruition. The car used in the film called The Wraith was based on the Dodge M4S Turbo Interceptor concept car.

Location: Pleasant Lake, Mich.
Price: Current Bid is $1,000

This started life as a 1994 Chevrolet Astro, but was transformed into an Astroghini for Discovery Channel's Ultimate Car Build Off in a mere 72 hours. A turbo and a nitrous system were installed during the build, but have since been removed. Somehow, we're pretty sure this isn't what "let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" means.