Image via Complex Original
People don't talk enough about how dangerous it is to be a delivery driver. Googling "delivery driver crimes" kicks back a frightening amount of results from last month alone. Any job is going to make you come across some weirdos, but being a delivery driver is one of the few professions that makes you go to the homes of those weirdos. We gathered the most fucked up stories we could find from delivery drivers. Some are bizarrely funny, others are terrifying, but all of them should make you tip your next delivery driver better.
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Witnessed a circle jerk.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. Or, in this case, a vintage purse as a tip-the driver was a woman-with the scarring caused by witnessing an outdoor circle jerk.
Had to wait for couple to stop having sex.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
And that wasn't the only thing. He also said he was offered heroin as a tip once and another time pizza and beer.
Resorted to blogging to gripe about low tips.
What Was Being Delivered: Unknown
In May of 2011, an anonymous Brooklyn delivery driver created a Tumblr to call out poor tippers. The blog wasn't full of vague gripes, either. The delivery vigilante would post the names and addresses of cheapskates. Unsurprisingly it didn't last long in its original form.
Given a microwave to pay for part of the pizza.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
A Reddit user said he showed up to a trailer park address in North Dakota and saw a note saying to come inside. When he went inside there was another note with $20, short of the $26 bill. The driver waited around thinking someone would show up before giving the customer a call. He was told to look at a third note, which said to pawn the microwave to make up the difference. The customer better have eaten the entire pizza, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to microwave the leftovers.
At least four oil delivery drivers robbed.
What Was Being Delivered: Oil
Police have yet to make any arrests related to a recent (as in last month) string of oil delivery driver robberies in Nassau County, N.Y. The men have been posing as homeowners and ordering home heating oil. When the drivers arrive, one man approaches before his associates run up on them.
Had delivery truck stolen.
What Was Being Delivered: Packages
This driver never even left headquarters. After picking up his truck he realized some paperwork was missing and went back inside to fix it. When he came out, the truck was gone. The thief wasn't that bad of a guy, though. He delivered many of the packages inside.
Delivered pizza after being carjacked.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
For once a delivery driver wasn't robbed by the people he was delivering too. The crime happened in April of 2013 in Atlanta and was just a terrible coincidence that he was carjacked. Being a stand up guy, even with his car gone, he went through with the delivery before calling the cops.
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Discovered a 10-year-old girl left home for days.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Any restaurant will have its regulars. One of them for this pizza driver was a little girl who always answered the door. One time she didn't have enough money, so the driver asked to talk to her parents. It turned out her dad was dead and her mom was at a boyfriend's in another town. The driver called the cops and posted up with the girl until they arrived. The orders stopped coming from that house afterward.
Jokingly threatened with a meat cleaver.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Pulling a practical joke involving someone's worst fear is just cruel. A pizza boy in high school was put in a chokehold and had a meat cleaver held to his throat. One of the men asked what he'd get if they cut his throat. "Uh, three free pizzas and about twenty years?" The men started laughing and threw the kid 10 bucks. They were also placed on the "do not deliver list."
Killed robber in self-defense.
Date: Redford, Mich.
Location: October 2013
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Things could have been much worse for this Redford, Michigan delivery guy. In October 2013, a robber put a gun to his head, but he wasn't the only one packing heat. The delivery driver shot the robber, who was pronounced dead on the scene. Calling the cops on that one is a completely different type of tip.
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Ambushed and murdered in car.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
St. Louis has had a problem with crimes against delivery men in recent years. In May of 2012, three men were arrested for ambushing an Imo's Pizza delivery man before he could even get out of the car. The only loot from the deadly robbery was the pie.
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Robbed and murdered.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Juan Avila's boss said he was his best employee and never complained. That's why it wasn't a surprise that when the boss was reluctant to send Avila to a dangerous location, Avila went "without a word." When he arrived the woman who ordered said she couldn't pay for the pizzas. Avila started to walk back to his car and was shot by a gunman on the way. Chicago Police were able to arrest both suspects, because the woman used her real name and a friend's number for the delivery. This isn't the result of recent gun crimes, either, as this happened back in August of 1989.
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Defends himself against attackers, gets demoted for it.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
One of Sam Swicegood's coworker's had recently been robbed in the same area he was delivering to, so he hid a fiberglass rod up his sleeve just in case. When five teenagers attacked him in Glenn Burnie, Md., his strange weapon choice was the only thing preventing him from getting bodied. Pizza Hut showed its sympathy by demoting Swicegood.
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Forced to rob a bank with a bomb locked around his neck.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
This was a real-life 30 Minutes or Less, minus the comedy and happy ending. The FBI believes Brian Wells was in on the plot, but that he didn't plan on having a real bomb strapped to his neck. He tried to back out, like any rational person would, but his co-conspirators fired a gun to make Wells compliant. When he was arrested and waiting for the bomb squad to show up, the bomb exploded, leaving a somber day in Erie, Pa.
Kidnapped and raped.
What Was Being Delivered: Pizza
Two men were arrested in Canton, Ohio this past month for kidnapping and raping a Papa John's driver. She was thrown into the trunk of her own car and brought to a field where she was left after being raped. Thankfully, police were able to find evidence at the scene of the crime to link the suspects to the crime.
