"Let's Go Eat a Goddamned Snack!": Remembering the NFL's Craziest Training Camp Stories

Image via Complex Original

Year: 2010

Team: Houston Texans

At just 5'5", Trindon Holliday isn't considered a giant by most standards. Despite his minute stature, the ace return man has managed to make a name for himself as a shifty, game-breaking special teams threat in the NFL for the Houston Texans, Denver Broncos, and now the New York Giants. However, once upon a time, Holliday was a rookie in a league that is heavy on testerone and low on compassion. As a result, veteran Texans players decided to use Holliday's diminutive height as an opportunity to prank the first-year player.

Instead of a customary exercise bike, the older Houston players decided to provide Holliday with a small, pink tricycle for him to use during training camp. Likely accustomed to pranks of this sort, Holliday took the joke in stride, riding the toy trike around the practice field with a smile on his face.

Year: 2010

Team: Denver Broncos

Tim Tebow is a famously devout Christian, often taking any public opportunity to communicate his faith in ways both subtle and explicit. Sensing an opportunity for some good-natured ribbing, veterans on the Denver Broncos decided to give Tebow a haircut that he would never forget, shaving the rookie quarterback's hair in a style reminiscent of a Christian friar.

The buzzjob was overzealous, but Tebow was able to maintain perspective about the minor hazing incident: "I think all the rookies had a good time with it," said Tebow. "It was something to give everybody a laugh, something also to build chemistry." Definitely, man. Remember: they were laughing with you, not at you. 

Year: 2012

Team: Miami Dolphins

Among the many traumas Jonathan Martin experienced during his career as a Miami Dolphin, no act of hazing was harmless and hilarious like the "dong mohawk" his fellow rookie Josh Samuda was forced to rock during Dolphins training camp in 2012. Samuda, who is currently with the Minnesota Vikings, was only a back-up center for the Dolphins, but his status as a benchwarmer certainly didn't make him exempt from any humiliation by the more seasoned Miami players.

As Kissing Suzy Kolber points out, dick-shaped haircuts have become something of a trend within the NFL, which is, frankly, just strange. You have to love the irony associated with hazing: a man is considered less of a man because another man had the idea to slap a dick on top of his head. Keep inspiring the world, guys. 

Year: 2010

Team: Washington Redskins

Though Donovan McNabb was no rookie by the time he joined Washington's NFL franchise, his fellow D.C. teammates felt it would be appropriate to welcome their new signal-caller with a light-hearted prank. Enlisting the help of a young fan, Washington's former flex option Chris Cooley gave McNabb a brief scare one afternoon in the locker room. The fan hid in McNabb's locker as the Washington quarterback was making his way back from a press conference. As soon as McNabb came to his locker, the young fan jumped out and caused the veteran QB to jump back in surprise. Apparently, he even let out an audible yelp. Sure, scaring your franchise leader doesn't inspire the most confidence in his nerves, but it definitely makes for a funny story.

Year: 2005

Team: Chicago Bears

Olin Kreutz can lay claim to one of the cleverest pranks on this list, as the former Chicago Bear tricked one-time Chicago rookie Kyle Orton into signing his own helmet during practice. Before practice, Kreutz went up to Orton and asked him if he could sign a helmet for him so that he could give it to his family. Orton happily obliged, not knowing that Kreutz had actually handed him the helmet that Orton would be wearing in practice. Orton was seen walking around the Bears' training facility in a helmet with his autograph on it, looking a tad narcissistic as a result of Kreutz's prank.

Year: 2010

Team: New York Jets

During the New York Jets' time on HBO's Hard Knocks series, their head football coach Rex Ryan quickly gained a reputation for his cavalier use of the English language. Ryan, who has been known for delivering some fairly rousing speeches in the past, may have spoken his most off-the-wall address to date when he spoke to his guys after a practice in 2010. Said Ryan, "Let’s make sure we play like the fucking New York Jets and not some fucking slap dick team. That’s what I want to see tomorrow. Do we understand what the fuck I want to see tomorrow? Now let’s go eat a goddamn snack.” If that doesn't inspire your appetite, then what will?

Year: 1997

Team: Washington Redskins

Michael Westbrook ain't nothing to fuck with; unfortunately, Stephen Davis didn't learn that fact until too late. The former Washington teammates had to be pulled apart after Davis apparently goaded Westbrook into a fight by tossing a gay slur at him. It suffices to say that this was a bad move on Davis' part. Westbrook—who would later go on to have a brief career as an MMA fighter—made sure that Davis didn't have a chance to apologize, pummeling him against the Washington practice field.

Year: 2003

Team: Oakland Raiders

Steroids are a hell of a drug. Out of any 'roid rage-related tale we've heard in the annals of league history, Bill Romanowski's savage attack against his former Oakland Raiders teammate Marcus Williams stands out as a horrifying example of the dangerous effects of steroid abuse. In August of 2003, as training camp was coming to an end and the team was gearing up to begin the NFL season, Romanowski went berserk on Williams, ripping off his helmet during a scrimmage and senselessly punching him in the face.

Apparently, Romanowski was fed up with the way that Williams was blocking him during practice, and decided that an appropriate response would be to crush Williams' eye socket and end his career. Following Romanowski's cruel actions, Williams opted to sue his former teammate, eventually earning $340K in a lawsuit.

Year: 2005

Team: Philadelphia Eagles

Before he was breaking down on Doctor Phil’s couch because of his financial problems, and starring in really depressing Carl’s Jr. commercials, Terrell Owens was one of the best receivers in the NFL. However, prior to the start of the 2005 season, T.O. decided that his seven-year, $49 million contract with the Eagles wasn’t enough.

After being sent home during camp for arguing with head coach Andy Reid, Owens addressed reporters from his driveway during the middle of a workout. Encouraging reporters to count out each sit-up and bicep curl rep, Owens then proceeded to rip Eagles management in a press conference for the ages. T.O. would end the year by being suspended without pay and deactivated from the team roster before being cut. Safe to say he could do a lot with that $49 million if he had it now.

Year: 2008

Team: Carolina Panthers

Ken Lucas may have three inches and twenty pounds on Steve Smith, but that didn’t stop the smaller wide receiver from smashing Lucas’ face during a training camp brawl in 2008. Lucas broke his nose and got a black eye after fighting with Smith on the sidelines at the Panthers' camp during a morning practice. Evidently, Smith didn’t learn from a previous incident, when he was suspended for punching Anthony Bright during a film session in 2002. Nobody goes harder in practice than Steve Smith. Unfortunately, his passion could use a better outlet than Lucas' nose. 

Year: 2009

Team: Denver Broncos

Another slide, another wide receiver starting drama. This time it’s Brandon Marshall, who earned a ticket out of Denver by simply not trying during training camp. After unsuccessfully holding out to try and get a new contract, Marshall reported to camp only after he was threatened with large fines. He then intentionally dropped passes during practices, didn’t run routes during drills, and pouted constantly. He was traded to Miami in the following offseason.

Year: 2009

Team: Oakland Raiders

And you thought only players brawled during training camp? Tell that to former Raiders coach Tom Cable, who broke an assistant coaches jaw during training camp in 2009. Yeah, that sounds like the Raiders to us. During a coaches meeting, Cable flipped defensive assistant Randy Hanson out of a chair, and Hanson hit his jaw on a cabinet. The 2009 Raiders ended up going 5-11. They should probably consider changing their team slogan. "Just Win, Baby!" hasn't been applicable in years. 

Year: 2009

Team: Philadelphia Eagles

Five fights, one training camp. That’s all you really need to know about Jason Babin’s reign of terror during 2009 Eagles camp. Babin would only spend one year in Philadelphia before signing with the Titans, but he returned to the Eagles in 2011. Evidently, Babin started focusing on attacking opposing quarterback’s instead of his own teammates, as he made the Pro Bowl upon his return to Philly.

Year: 2010

Team: Dallas Cowboys

While carrying extra pads isn’t as bad as, say, getting a dick-shaped mohawk shaved into your head, Dez Bryant still wanted no part of Roy Williams’ feeble attempt to haze him. Williams tried to get Bryant to carry his pads from practice during training camp in 2010, and Dez wasn’t feeling it. Williams probably should have been more concerned about Dez Bryant taking his job as opposed to his shoulder pads, as Williams was cut after the 2010 season. Dez Bryant replaced him on the depth chart.

Year: 2010

Team: Washington Redskins

Seems like Albert Haynesworth spent too much time at Krispy Kreme during the 2010 offseason after he inked his 7 year/$100M contract with the Redskins. Haynesworth skipped all but one of Mike Shanahan's offseason programs and showed up to camp in terrible physical shape. What does a 350 lbs nose tackle look like in good physical shape? Who the hell knows? In any case, it wasn't Haynesworth. It took him three attempts to pass the physical and by that time, the writing was already on the wall. Haynesworth wound up spending less than two full seasons in Washington and is regarded as one of the franchise's worst free agent pick-ups in history.

Year: 2012

Team: Miami Dolphins

This is a lesson for all men to never buy condoms without their significant other, right, Ochocino? Apparently, Johnson’s former wife Evelyn Lozado, started a fight with Chad Johnson over him buying condoms. Ocho wound up head-butting Lozado, who suffered from some ugly facial wounds. Johnson was arrested and eventually made bail, but the damage was already done. The Dolphins released Ochocinco, which promptly ended his NFL career that was already on it’s last legs. At least we got this French Montana banger out of it.

Year: 2005

Team: New England Patriots

In 2005, Tom Brady had some straight-up weird poses for GQ that his offensive line caught wind of. To poke fun at Brady, each member of the O-line put a picture from the GQ shoot on their backs. Brady had to stop practice to rip the pictures off in front of all the fans in attendance. Of course, Brady still goes home to Gisele every night, so he always wins. Can his offensive linemen say the same? 

Year: 2009

Team: Cincinnati Bengals

Carson Palmer might have a career as a health educator when his football career is over. Back when he was running the Cincinnati Bengals' offense, Palmer had to approach his center about a smell that “smelled like he put his hand in a toilet.” Having to put your hands on the balls of a 300 lbs man is enough without having to deal with a lingering smell to go along with it. We’ll bet that the center made sure to triple-wash his clothes before and after practice after that run in with Palmer.

Year: 2004

Team: Seattle Seahawks

Robbie Tobeck earned the title of “Ultimate Jokester” early on in his career, and his prank on Seattle Seahawks QB Trent Dilfer was legendary. Oddly enough, Dilfer attempted to prank Tobeck by putting Icy Hot in his jock strap, but Tobeck discovered the prank and vowed to get Dilfer back. Tobeck responded by putting a bottle of coyote urine scent and poured it over his room. According to Tobeck, Dilfer was burning incense, scrubbing the floor, lighting candles and other things to try to get the putrid smell out. Never prank the jokester.

Year: 2013

Team: Baltimore Ravens

A surprise visit from an ice cream truck? You'd have to have a cold heart not to be excited by news like that. Of course, the Baltimore Ravens were happy to show their appreciation for the Miss Twist ice cream truck when it unexpectedly appeared during a 2013 practice at the Ravens' training facility. As you'll see from the video, these grown men aren't afraid to act like kids if it gives them a break from their two-a-days.