Image via Complex Original
With the Spurs gaining a 3-2 advantage on the Miami Heat, we're drawing closer and closer to the apex of the NBA season. If the Spurs are able to finish the Heat most of the basketball world will rejoice and Heat fans will go back to not caring about basketball. But some us will be sad because we won't get a chance to see Chris Bosh's sequel to the show he gave us at the end of last year's Finals. Although, he might fall back given the backlash he received. So either way it might suck. With that being said, we'll just leave this here for you to enjoy: The History of NBA Champagne Facials—one of the few times you can watch a facial in public without being one of the more pathetic pioneers in American History.
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Dennis Johnson, 1979
Never mind DJ's champagne 'fro, give props to John Johnson for actually drinking his beer.
Jerry Buss, 1980 and 1987
It's gonna be a pain in the butt for CBS to get that out. In pic two Magic pays the doctor the ultimate compliment.
Gerald Henderson, 1984
Answer: spits.
Larry Bird, 1986
Poor Larry never got to experience that blistering pain in his retina's ever again.
Los Angeles Lakers, 1987
Magic popped open the Don Perignon with Kazaam in it.
John Salley, 1989
Lest our Detroit readers shout "bias" we show you there's some definite misguided phallic symbolism in Motown too.
Chicago Bulls, 1991
Nothing's quite as special as your first time.
Phil Jackson, 1992
Look below Phil, that dude is bracing for impact.
Bill Wennington, 1996
Now you know how Mrs. Wennington feels.
Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, 1996
We like it better when it happens to Sasha Grey. Actually who are we kidding? No we don't.
Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, 1997
Scottie showing his respect to NBC.
Michael Jordan, 1998
Well he did carry the load all season.
Shaquille O'Neal, 2001
Artsy facials for everybody.
Shaq and Kobe, 2002
Feud? What feud?
David Robinson, 2003
If he were a real admiral he'd be used to this.
Tim Duncan, 2003
Getting close to popping corks again.
Glen Davis, 2008
You didn't think we'd forget about the BBW crowd did ya? That don't stand for Big Baby either.
Paul Pierce, 2008
Chris Bosh is wondering where the outcry over this is?
Phil Jackson, 2009
Someone in a third world country could be getting loaded right now while you guy's waste that booze.
Metta World Peace, 2009
Metta and alcohol can't mix well.
Pau Gasol, 2010
Bosh: Again, what the fuck!?
Phil Jackson, 2010
Screw Red Auerbach (may God rest his soul) but this was Phil's real motivation to keep winning rings.
Lamar Odom, 2010
As a Kardashian it's a rite of passage.
Kobe Bryant, 2010
Disturbing enough to cause ED in the most libidinous of teenagers.
Mark Cuban, 2011
If ever there was a guy qualified to pull off a moneyshot...
Pat Riley, 2012
Pat Riley's done this so much his eyes are immune. But, we'd be damned if D-Wade's face in pic two didn't say it all.
Chris Bosh, 2012
The standard by which all other facials (champagne or not) will be measured. He does it to himself. Or he just might be the ultimate troll.
