Image via Complex Original
Lindsay Lohan is not entering the new year sans worries like your favorite rapping Martian. The child actress turned teen star turned perennial fuck-up and tabloid magnet is up to her old tricks. She's always on your favorite blog's headlines for one reason or another, but for a few years leading up to 2012 she'd managed to at least put a lid on the vehicular nonsense.
Fast forward to the first month of 2013, and she's doing shitty Lifetime movies, upper-cutting women in nightclubs, and once again facing jail time because of some fuckery behind the wheel. While we await the results of her January 15 hearing, Complex has compiled the comprehensive history of all of the Mean Girl's notorious, specifically vehicle-related bad behavior. Read on for Lindsay Lohan's Most Infamous Car Moments.
Written by Frazier Tharpe (@The_SummerMan)
Mean Girls (2004)
Cady Heron totally pushed Regina George in front of that school bus.
Hit-and-Run #1
Date: August 3rd, 2004
Lindsay kicked off what would become a notorious reign of roadside terror with this (alleged) hit-and-run in Studio City the summer of 2004. The drivers claimed she caused a head-on collision and then sped away, though they suspiciously didn't launch their lawsuit until February '05.
Paparazzi Run-In, L.A. Edition
Date: May 31st, 2005
In one of the few Lohan vehicular incidents that don't involve substance abuse, Lindsay made headlines in the spring of '05 for this collision with a paparazzo named Galo Cesar Ramirez. Ramirez, and more of his kind, had flocked on the celebutante as she departed a restaurant, and Lindsay, fresh off of the Herbie set, tried and failed to pull some evasive maneuvers to escape the shuttering herd—an impromptu U-turn sent her straight into Ramirez's vehicle.
While no one was hurt, or charged, the incident spurred then Governor Schwarzenegger to implement an anti-paparazzi law in the Sunshine state that would allow stars to collect hefty damage awards from the paps in future cases such as this one.
Herbie: Fully Loaded
No paparazzi, innocent bystanders, nor property were harmed during the filming of this movie, and as far as we know, the then 19 year-old Lindsay didn't have white lines running through her mind. She was quite sober when she made the decision to star in this abominable entry in Disney's silly Herbie the love bug film series (subtitled with what would soon become her permanent state of being), the first of what would go on to be many questionable career moves.
California Collision
Date: October 4, 2005
Long before the DUIs, Lindsay and the paparazzi were a special case of oil vs. water. No celebrity likes the shutter-clicking vultures, but their presence always seems to frazzle the redhead to the point of accidents such as this one that occurred on this L.A. afternoon. After fleeing a group of them as they lurked around her car outside a clothing store, she caused a three-car bang-up on Robertson Blvd.
Her collision into an Astro van while mid-turn, sent the van careening into a nearby parked car. No one suffered major injuries, and she didn't flee the scene but she did notably, and somewhat hilariously, escape the actual street into a nearby antiques store, lest more paparazzi descend upon the scene.
Paparazzi Run-In, NYC Edition
Date: March 2007
It was a classic story of he said-she said. Did paparazzo Giovanni Arnold, thirstily out to get the job done at all costs, hop on the hood of Lindsay's car to get the money shot? Or did the one-time mean girl, fed up with the perennially present photographing hawks, actually reverse and then drive at Arnold head-on? Back then we probably wouldn't have assumed the worst, but today we know Lindsay just may have enough screws loose to actually try and run someone like Arnold down. But if the recent Chris Guerra-Justin Bieber tragedy has taught us anything, it's that the paps are truly relentless in their pursuit.
Georgia Rule (2007)
This the May 2007 release of forgettable Garry Marshall's forgettable dramedy preceded Lindsay's first DUI and the beginning of the end of her squeaky clean image. In it, she portrays Rachel, a teenage wild child in need of strong parental guidance, forcing her mother (Felicity Huffman) to whisk her off to Idaho to stay with her commanding grandmother (Jane Fonda). The inciting incident for Rachel's exile? A car crash. Garry Marshall (also responsible for the likes of Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve) has been called many things, but allow us to be the first to label him as fantastically ahead of his time. Killer casting instincts on this one dude.
The First DUI
Date: May 26, 2007
Just a couple weeks after the release of Georgia Rule, life imitated art when Beverly Hills police slapped L.L. with her very first DUI after she jumped a curb in her Benz. They quickly realized she was possibly driving under many influences when a car search yielded what the police report describe as a "usable" amount of cocaine. Maybe she was snorting blowing off steam because her movie just tanked?
Failing a Field Sobriety Test
Date: July 24, 2007
Just a few weeks after discharging from rehab, Lindsay gave her first DUI plaque a buddy to hang with when she was arrested yet again, this time after failing a field sobriety test in a Santa Monica parking lot. Police were called to the area to intervene in a heated argument between Lindsay and her personal assistant's mother, who claims the starlet was "chasing her" around the parking lot and that she feared for her safety. Once again, L.L. was caught with the yayo on her person as well.
Hit-and-Run #2
Date: March 14, 2012
Looking back on the the last year in Lindsay, this early spring incident was a mere dry run for the real automobile nightmares to come, a harbinger that the actress, who had gone a decent while without any auto-accidents, was about to resume past bad behavior. Nevertheless, reports say that she accidentally grazed the 26 year-old manager of a nearby hookah lounge while backing her Porsche out of a parking lot in front of a Sayers club.
Dude reportedly got right back up and back to business, so no big deal, right? Well it wouldn't be, except that instead of stopping to even poke her head out of the window and see if he was alright, Linds peeled off and even allegedly exchanged seats with her passenger before talking to cops. Which wouldn't be the last time she tried to pull that particular bait-and-switch...
PCH Car Crash
Date: June 8, 2012
Lindsay's nastiest crash occurred last summer on the Pacific Coast Highway when her Porsche rear-ended a dump-truck during the late-morning commute. No one was seriously harmed, but the accident is infamous now because it's since been revealed that the multiple DUI award-winning actress lied to the cops about being behind the wheel—long beleaguered assistant Gavin Doyle was actually the passenger. The fallout from the failed deception is now among the source of Lindsay's biggest worries heading into 2013, as she could be facing serious jail time—as in, longer than 14 days.
Hit-and-Run #3
Date: September 19, 2012
Do Porsches come equipped with that reverse-gear shift camera? Poor Lindsay just never seems to notice when she clips somebody. While weaving through a crowd of people upon returning to the Dream Hotel in NYC, an unlucky bystander was bumped by Lohan's slow-moving whip and she and her girls hopped right out while dude was apparently writhing on the ground clutching his knee.
It's quite possible they literally had no idea because she sure seemed surprised when she walked out of the Dream a few hours later to find cops there waiting with her favorite wrist-wear.
Kicking Her Assistant Out of Her Car
Date: November 30, 2012
In these hyper-attentive tabloid days, a clique consisting of trustworthy, down-to-ride, won't-sell-damaging-pics-to-the-paps members is priceless. At least, so we think. Lindsay Lohan disagrees.
After at least trying to take the fall for the aforementioned summertime crash on the PCH, and then bailing his friend-boss out that morning after she was done doling out right hooks in NYC nightclubs, Linds thanked her faithful assistant Gavin Doyle by shunning him from her escape vehicle as the paparazzi swarmed on the precinct steps.
In this video, she can be heard frantically forbidding him from entering the whip, sacrificing him to the hungry paps and reporters. "OK. Never speak to me again," said the poor beleaguered assistant as he threw his jacket over his head to escape the camera flashes, and began the long, cold, early morning walk. Home? Hotel? Who knows.
