Image via Complex Original
What's worse than an athlete that talks a lot of trash? An athlete that talks a lot of trash and then backs it up. While critics have to wait about a month and a half to seethe at LeBron James's lowkey supreme confidence, for now they'll have to settle for Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman. It's not settling in the sense that it's a consolation prize either; he's too entertaining and talented for that.
Last night was Sherman at his most Sherman-ness. He held Anquan Boldin to no catches (the one on the stat sheet comes when Sherman wasn't on him). Mind you, Boldin had over 200 yards the prior week against Green Bay. Then to add like a gallon of saltwater to the 29-3 pounding the Seahawks were giving to the 49ers, Sherman caught an interception in the fourth quarter and proceeded to dance with the Seahawks cheerleaders, just because.
Finally, in a Kanye West-esque "Can I talk my shit again?" moment after giving his former college coach/current 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh a condescending, firm pat on the bottom, Sherman sent a message to those watching during the postgame interview. “There are a lot of pundits and ignorant idiots who thought, ‘Oh, the Seahawks are gonna lose this game.’ Well, please, please don’t doubt us again,” Sherman said. “Every time you doubt us, you look stupid.” What can you do? He owns wide receivers and Skip Bayless.
But while Sherman definitely came out the winner, there were other winners this week. There couldn't have been that many people crying along with EJ Manuel when he won his first NFL game (because how many Bills fans are out there outside of Buffalo?) but it still was a sweet moment to watch. The Vikings also found some ways to win but none of which involves a tally on the win column.
Tom Brady struggles, referees turn into defensive backs, and are WWE ethics on the rise in the No Fun League? Check out what went down on GIF Gallery: The Wins and Fails of NFL Week 2.
RELATED: 10 Things Learned From Week 1 in the NFL
Written by Brian Josephs (@Bklyn_Rock)
Referees can't get penalties
Player(s): None, that's the problem
Date: 9/15/2013
The worst part is that Jay Cutler can't spaz out like he wants to...because that's a flag.
Vikings are really good at opening games; average in most other aspects.
Player(s): Cordarrelle Patterson
Date: 9/15/2013
The Vikings are teetering on average on most things that don't have anything to do with Adrian Peterson or opening the game. They followed up Adrian Peterson's 78-yard touchdown to open up last Sunday's game with Cordarelle Patterson's 105-yard opening kickoff return. They've yet to turn those positives into a win, though.
EJ Manuel pretty much encapsulated how we all felt on Sunday.
Player(s): EJ Manuel
Date: 9/15/2013
It's been a rough, emotional Sunday for all of us. The Sunday night game got delayed by weather so we can get our hearts broken by baby Holly and the White family. Then Nothing Was The Same had the audacity to leak soon after. But before all that, Bills quarterback EJ Manuel shed some tears after his game-winning touchdown to Stevie Johnson for his first win as a pro, prompting some tears of joy. Tears for Breaking Bad coming to an end, tears for your ex after listening to that new Drake album, and tears for the Bills because they're the Bills.
7. The NFL is actually serious about these penalties.
Player(s): Sidney Rice
Date: 9/15/2013
See that? That small, inoffensive gesture of just spinning the ball can earn you a penalty. That's also a concussed Eric Reid, which...well, sucks.
If there's one thing Christian Ponder is good at, it's the truck stick.
Player(s): Christian Ponder
Date: 9/15/2013
Christian Ponder can't throw a decent deep pass, makes multiple mistakes, and his will to win is questionable at best (Sorry, Adrian Peterson. Willpower isn't contagious). There's one thing he can do well, though: Break the hell out of an All-Pro linebacker. Now all he has to do is rack up some Ws.
Richard Sherman does this.
Player(s): Richard Sherman
Date: 9/15/2013
While you're coming to terms with what happened on Breaking Bad, Richard Sherman was catching intos and dancing with cheerleaders. Sherman would've definitely been flourishing if he was in Walter White's position.
Richard Sherman isn't afraid of a Jim Harbaugh freakout.
Player(s): Richard Sherman
Date: 9/15/2013
Richard Sherman and former college coach Jim Harbaugh haven't been on the best of terms after the latter allegedly bad-mouthed him in front of front office members and coaches, dooming him to be drafted lower. This wasn't an ass tap of malice though. This was a firm tap. A reassuring tap. It's a solid tap on the bottom that says, "You did well, sir. You still ain't messing with my squad, though." It's a Christmas-in-September miracle Harbaugh didn't catch a body after that horrendous performance.
Why doesn't AND1 Football exist?
Player(s): Tony Carter
Date: 9/15/2013
This is one of those situations where you try to lie and say you totally meant to do that. Also, SMH at the Internet at not capturing the #ManningFace after this AND1 catch. Come on, there HAD to be one. Those GIFs are like our closet addiction.
2. XFL is on the silent comeup.
Player(s): William Moore
Date: 9/15/2013
The XFL is back. Not as a league but as a movement. Last week, Clay Matthews landed a flying clothesline on Colin Kaepernick, who pretty much got abused at Seattle in a 29-3 loss. William Moore one-upped Matthews with a spinebuster that'd even make The Rock catch a flashback. One of the referees then revealed himself to be Joe Flacco as he counted Mike McNeil out for the pin fall. Moore then aligned himself with the defending champion Ravens in what turned out to be the biggest heel turn in the history of everything.
As bad as they looked, the Patriots are still better than the Jets.
Player(s): Tom Brady
Date: 9/12/2013
Thursday night's football game was bad enough to fuck up your entire week. Yeah, it rained and yeah, linebacker Tedy Bruschi had his faux-Shawshank Redemption moment by cavorting in the downpour after being inducted into the Patriots' Hall of Fame. But the actual game itself was a pain to watch. Tom Brady—who finished with an un-Bradylike 19-for-39 with just 185 yards—and his receivers looked pretty much out of sync throughout the game.
Aaron Dobson and Kenbrell Thompson kept screwing up passes and misrunning routes, and after one missed touchdown opportunity, he looked like he was an incomplete pass away from just tagging that whole receivers core with a leather belt. Brady is definitely to blame for that poor performance too, because he did overthrow some easy targets.
All of this and they were still able to defeat a still hapless Jets offense 13-10, thanks to an increasingly suspect Geno Smith again throwing three interceptions. With Mark Sanchez out of the picture, Smith is going to have to improve—a lot. Like, as soon as possible.
