The 25 Worst Big Men in NBA History

Image via Complex Original

Teams(s): Clippers, Sonics, Lakers, Nets, Grizzlies, Bucks, Raptors, 76ers, Cavaliers
Stats: 11.4 PPG, 7.5 RPG, 1.3 APG, 0.6 SPG, 2.0 BPG
Career: (1986-2000)

Don't be fooled by the numbers. We repeat do not be fooled by those numbers. We're still trying figure out how he managed to put up those stats. The Clippers (duh) took a young Benoit with the third pick in the 1985 Draft, passing on Chris Mullin, Karl Malone, Joe Dumars; hell, they even passed on Charles Oakley and Hot Rod Williams. Amazingly, he actually played well with the Clips, but fell off the face of the Earth when they traded him to Seattle for Olden Polynice and two first round picks. He then proceeded to be a scrub on every team he suited up for until he retired.

Teams(s): Clippers, Timberwolves, Celtics
Stats: 8.3 PPG, 6.8 RPG, 0.7 APG, 0.5 SPG, 1.4 BPG
Career: (1999-2007)

"The Kandi Man can." Remember that? The former No. 1 pick was an above-average defender, and that's where it stops. While with the Clippers, Olowokandi ignored Kareem's teachings and basically acted like an asshole. He should've been banished to the far reaches of the universe for that. Unforgivable.

Teams(s): Pacers, Warriors, Mavericks, Heat, Hawks
Stats: 7.4 PPG, 7.1 RPG, 0.8 APG, 0.3 SPG, 1.4 BPG
Career: (1997-2012)

OK, Erick Dampier was halfway good, if you want to call it that. His problem was his ego. The god actually thought he was in the same dimension as Shaq. And the Diesel called him out of his name because of it. That's it, nothing to see here. Oh, and he got dunked on by Kwame Brown. That'll get you in the Scrub Hall of Fame.

Teams(s): Timberwolves, Bulls, Suns, Knicks
Stats: 7.2 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 1.5 APG, 0.5 SPG, 1.0 BPG
Career: (1992-2001)

This man has three rings. After losing Bill Cartwright to old age, the Bulls picked up Luc Longley to gear up for their second three-peat. He was a solid defender (if you're into hyperbole), and was mostly used for his big frame and six fouls. Longley averaged double figures in points once in his career. And that just so happened to be the year Chicago won 72 games. Coincidence? We think not.

Teams(s): Kings, Spurs, Bulls, Suns, Warriors
Stats: 2.7 PPG, 3.3 RPG, 0.7 APG, 0.5 SPG, 0.1 BPG
Career: (1983-1993)

Phil Jackson loved Ed Nealy. Maybe because he reminded him of himself. Phil, like Nealy, worked hard. But whatever, Ed Nealy was a scrub. Sure he had a high basketball IQ, but what does it matter if you're physically incapable of playing the game? If the Zen Master "admired" Ed's approach to the game, he should've made him an assistant.

Teams(s): 76ers, Nets, Mavericks
Stats: 8.1 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 0.7 APG, 0.6 SPG, 2.5 BPG
Career: (1994-2005)

If you're damn near eight feet tall, you better have 2.5 blocks a contest. If you're damn near eight feet tall you better not get dunked on twice a game. That's the story of Shawn Bradley's life; recording blocks and getting dunked on. Youtube highlights of him getting blammed on is his greatest contribution to society.

Teams(s): Timberwolves, Jazz, Magic, Warriors, Spurs, Knicks
Stats: 5.2 PPG, 5.3 RPG, 0.3 APG, 0.4 SPG, 0.8 BPG
Career: (1991-2002)

The T'Wolves traded Felton Spencer because they had Luc Longley. Good night.

Teams(s): Hawks, Magic
Stats: 4.5 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 1.0 APG, 0.7 SPG, 1.0 BPG
Career: (1986-1996)

Blame this man for ushering in the era of bloated contracts. The Hawks gave his bum ass more money than Magic, Larry, and Michael in 1989 after a convincing 4.7 point, 6.1 rebound, and 1.3 block '88 campaign. Can we get some Gattaca leg implants or some shit? That stat line says it all.

Teams(s): Bulls, Spurs, Trail Blazers
Stats: 4.7 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 0.8 APG, 0.3 SPG, 0.7 BPG
Career: (1989-2001)

No relation to the Perdue Chicken empire, Will was one of those guys that played hard, but his good wasn't good enough. It's really amazing how many championships Jordan won while playing with a bunch of stiffs. His career year was in '97 as a member of the Spurs. That season he put up 8.7 points, 9.8 boards, and 1.6 blocks. San Antonio should retire his number.

Teams(s): Jazz, Kings
Stats: 4.6 PPG, 5.5 RPG, 0.6 APG, 0.3 SPG, 1.7 BPG
Career: (1996-2006)

Oh, yes. The man of the hour. What can we say about Greg Ostertag that hasn't already been said about career bums? He and Erick Dampier took themselves way too seriously because of the great teams they played on during their primes. And Shaq put both in their places when they ran their mouth. One thing about Ostertag was that he did try to play tough defense, but that's where it stopped. Averaging 2.2 blocks per game from 1997-2000, and being the starting center in two consecutive Finals appearances were his crowning achievements.

Teams(s): Cavaliers, Mavericks, Nets, Bobcats
Stats: 2.0 PPG, 3.7 RPG, 0.4 APG, 0.4 SPG, 1.0 BPG
Career: (2002-2013)

We feel really bad putting DeSagana on here because he really tries out there; at least when he was healthy. With that being said, Diop has been a stiff for quite some time. He has never had a career year, unless you want to count his time in Dallas and New Jersey where he averaged 5 boards over the course of three seasons. But one thing DeSagana can hang is hat on, is his 1.0 BPG career average. Say what you want, at least he tried.

Teams(s): Cavaliers, Nets, Trail Blazers, Knicks, Suns
Stats: 3.9 PPG, 6.2 RPG, 0.4 APG, 0.4 SPG, 1.2 BPG
Career: (1988-2003)

Besides being an annoying rebounder and being strong like bull, Chris Dudley is the poster child for this list. Good God he was a fucking bum. His 45 percent free-throw percentage is a manifestation of his game. The only highlights of him on Youtube are of Shaq dunking and pushing to the ground.

Teams(s): Heat
Stats: 2.5 PPG, 3.2 RPG, 0.2 APG, 0.3 SPG, 1.2 BPG
Career: (2008-2013)

Another scrub with a ring. Having an alien head has nothing to do with being a bum, but we thought we'd mention it. Anthony plays nine minutes a game on a team with no center. What else needs to be said? And before you say: "But he's a good defender," shut your mouth! We do not want to hear it.

Teams(s): Cavaliers, Jazz, Bullets
Stats: 8.5 PPG, 4.6 RPG, 0.5 APG, 0.4 SPG, 1.0 BPG
Career: (1985-1990)

Interesting fact: Mel Turpin thought he was Babe Ruth and often ate stadium food between timeouts. His nickname was "Dinner Bell Mel." That's it, that's all we have. One block a game, though!

Teams(s): Mavericks, Timberwolves, Grizzlies, Wizards, Clippers, Spurs, Warriors
Stats: 4.4 PPG, 3.6 RPG, 0.6 APG, 0.4 SPG, 0.6 BPG
Career: (1996-2004)

He looks like our weed dealer and he played like he was high too. Duke fans thought he was the second coming of Christian Laettner when he put up 19 and 9 during his senior season. But we knew he was going to be a bum in the L. You get no respect if you're 6'11" and average less than a block a game. None!

Teams(s): Kings, Sonics, Knicks
Stats: 4.3 PPG, 3.1 RPG, 0.3 APG, 0.3 SPG, 1.1 BPG
Career: (1999-2009)

Fuck you, Isiah Thomas. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's polly about the bum that is Jerome James. Homie is built like a tree and got paid millions of dollars because of his genetics, yet he couldn't find the will power to stop eating Big Macs 24 hours a day. Thankfully, executives smartened up and NBA fans don't have to witness his basketball ineptitude any longer. The basketball gods always look out for our best interest.

Teams(s): Mavericks, Warriors, Spurs
Stats: 2.1 PPG, 1.8 RPG, 0.4 APG, 0.1 SPG, 0.4 BPG
Career: (1986-1990)

His name says it all. The man was born to be a scrub. Blame his parents. And the Dallas Mavs for drafting him and Bill Wennington back to back, in an effort to score their own twin towers to rival Olajuwon and Sampson. You know you're a bum when you're over seven feet and can't stick around the league for more than five years.

Teams(s): Pistons, Magic, Grizzlies, Knicks, Timberwolves, Celtics
Stats: 6.0 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 0.9 APG, 0.4 SPG, 1.3 BPG
Career: (2004-2013)

Poor Darko. It wasn't his fault Joe Dumars had an enormous brain fart and took the Serbian second overall in the 2003 Draft over Melo, Bosh, and Wade. Ten years in, and we're still waiting for Darko to reach his "potential." You can't teach seven feet, and you also can't teach hand-eye coordination. We hope he has himself a successful career in the other hemisphere. Get him all the way the fuck out of here.

Teams(s): Bulls, Nets, Lakers, Spurs
Stats: 3.5 PPG, 2.7 RPG, 0.2 APG, 0.2 SPG, 0.1 BPG
Career: (1989-1998)

Haley's another career bum extraordinaire with a championship. He won one as Dennis Rodman's babysitter with the '96 Bulls. Haley only played in one game that season and didn't make the playoff roster. We have no clue how he made it to the L because he was a stiff in college as well. No, wait, we remember how he made it; he's 6'10" and can talk in sentences.

Teams(s): Sonics, Thunder, Nuggets, Nets, Hawks
Stats: 4.6 PPG, 3.8 RPG, 0.5 APG, 0.4 SPG, 0.5 BPG
Career: (2006-2013)

Johan sucks like a thirsty porn star. He's in the league because of his size and height. Plus, he can tie his shoes and chew gum at the same damn time. Johan's a fucking genius in that regard. Guys that are 6'10" or better, and average less than a block deserve to be called scrubs from the tops of mountains. We can't even play with these cats on 2K. Get 'em out of our sight before we vomit on the nearest puppy.

Teams(s): Warriors, Hawks
Stats: 3.1 PPG, 2.4 RPG, 0.3 APG, 0.2 SPG, 0.2 BPG
Career: (1987-1988)

Would you take a look at those numbers? Washburn was the No. 3 overall pick in the 1986 Draft, and lasted only two seasons because of a cocaine problem. He had a bad reputation in college and an even worse one in the NBA. He was banned for life in 1989 after failing his third drug test and is one of the top five biggest busts in history.

Jason's Teams(s): Nets, Grizzlies, Timberwolves, Hawks, Celtics
Jason's Stats: 3.7 PPG, 3.8 RPG, 0.9 APG, 0.5 SPG, 0.5 BPG
Jason's Career: (2002-2013)
Jarron's Teams(s): Jazz, Suns, Clippers, Trail Blazers
Jarron's Stats: 3.9 PPG, 2.9 RPG, 0.8 APG, 0.3 SPG, 0.2 BPG
Jarron's Career: (2002-2011)

Holy shit, they made two of them. Never in the history of sport have two twins been this garbage and soft. Jason Collins has made $32.8 million over the course of his career. We're going to let that sink in. 0.5 blocks for his career. He should have to donate every penny he has made as an NBA player. The President needs to put in an Executive Order immediately.

And when you thought his twin brother was bad, Jarron brings things back to perspective. He's not even in the league anymore. Do you know how garbage you have to be to not have a job in the NBA when you're 6'11"? Teams rather pay Rasheed Wallace to come out of retirement and pay him to sit on the bench. Jarron and his brother, Jason, are soft as fuck.

Teams(s): Nets
Stats: 2.1 PPG, 2.6 RPG, 0.0 APG, 0.1 SPG, 0.6 BPG
Career: (1995-1998)

God rest his soul, but Yinka Dare did not know how to play basketball. He dominated at George Washington and duped everybody to believe he was Shaq's clone. We're not even gonna go in out of respect. Just take a gander at that stat line.

Teams(s): Rockets, Lakers, Pistons, Bulls, Spurs
Stats: 1.6 PPG, 1.5 RPG, 0.1 APG, 0.1 SPG, 0.7 BPG
Career: (1983-1994)

Of course Chuck Nevitt has a ring. Totally makes perfect sense. 7'5"? We didn't know they stacked shit that high. How are you a giant and not average a block a game? His basketball career is inexcusable.

Teams(s): Wizards, Lakers, Grizzlies, Pistons, Bobcats, Warriors, 76ers
Stats: 6.6 PPG, 5.5 RPG, 0.9 APG, 0.5 SPG, 0.6 BPG
Career: (2002-2013)

Talk about a waste of space. Actually, this blurb is a waste of space. He was drafted No. 1 by the greatest of all time, stank up the joint for a decade, the end. Here's a highlight reel.