Only the Jets.

Only the Jets, eight years removed from their last playoff appearance, would have their season ruined before Week 2 kicked off. 

Only the Jets would have their star quarterback contract mono and be out for roughly a month with a virus most commonly associated with high schoolers swapping spit rather than a 22-year-old professional athlete. 

Only the Jets would enter their Monday Night Football matchup with the Browns with Trevor Siemian under center, putting on display for the 1,567th time  how inept and unlucky the franchise is

And only the most idiotic and inebriated of Jets fans (there will be plenty of them in the Meadowlands Monday) would dare put money down on New York getting 6.5 points Monday when Cleveland comes to town. Because if you think the Jets are covering that number with a defense that's compromised by injuries to two of their better players (C.J. Mosley and Quinnen Williams), possesses a suspect group of cornerbacks, and is running out a retread under center then just give me your money. 

So that Jets rant aside, I would recommend a play on the Browns in Week 2. And while I have no problem putting money down against my team (bet with your head, not with your heart) there are other games I'm targeting. Here are our scintillating selections for the NFL's second weekend of action. 

Season records:
Cap: 2-0-1
Chopz: 1-2

Week 2

Cap 

Bengals -1.5 vs. 49ers

Bengals hit big for me last weekend in Seattle and now return to Cincinnati for their 2019 debut at home. This game opened with the Niners as 2.5-point favorites. Meanwhile, the Niners are on the road for a second straight week and, according to ESPN, teams opening the season with back-to-back road games are 1-14 ATS since 2015. Three other teams actually meet that criteria this week: Buffalo, Indianapolis, and Kansas City.

Chargers -2.5 at Lions

Best bet of the weekend. Lions blew a massive lead to arguably the worst team in the league last weekend. While I don't love the fact that three-quarters of the bets are currently coming in on the Chargers (which would usually trigger a go-the-other-way play), I'm still a big believer in the Chargers, plus I have stats to back up why a play on LA is the move: The Lions are just 1-4 ATS in their last five home games while the Chargers are 7-1 ATS in their last eight games on the road.  

Colts +3 at Titans 

If you're buying into the stat I dropped above about teams playing back-to-back road games to open a season then taking the Colts doesn't make sense. But I'm not taking three favorites this week and I don't necessarily love any dogs. I do, however, love this stat: Indy is 12-3 ATS in their last 15 meetings with Tennessee. 

Chopz

Dolphins +18.5 vs. Patriots 

I'm doing it. That's just too many points and the Patriots are notorious for laying an egg down in Miami every year. 

Seahawks +4.5 at Steelers 

The Steelers will be looking for a bounce back game against Seattle this week, but I like the Seahawks with the points on the road. I have some serious questions about the Steelers and think Russell Wilson will have a big game. 

Rams -2 vs Saints 

Yup, I don't think the Saints will get their revenge on Sunday. Not only do I like the Rams better at home, but I think the Saints will have a letdown after the thrilling win on Monday night against the Texans. I'm taking the Rams to cover this.