From Alex Trebek to Dej Loaf, there are more a few celebrities who have fallen victim to pot brownies in the past. And their stories just about always start like this: "I was told to only eat a piece of the brownie, so that’s what I did. But after about 30 minutes, I didn’t feel anything. So I ate another piece. And then…"
From there, it all goes downhill and typically ends with the celebrity swearing off pot brownies forever. And you can now add sports commentator Joe Buck to the growing list of celebs who have had bad experiences with them.
Buck appeared on ESPN's The Dan LeBatard Show on Monday, and during his interview on the show, he talked about a trip that he took to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico back in 2011. He was going through a divorce at the time and dealing with a hair-plug addiction that had paralyzed his vocal cord (no, really), so he decided to go to Mexico to unwind. His original plan was to work his way through two books while letting his vocal cord heal, but when he struggled to deal with the stress he was feeling, a friend suggested he try a pot brownie. And while he claims he had never used any drugs before, he decided to do it.
His story matches the story we just mentioned above. Buck took a bite out of a pot brownie, waited about 45 minutes, and felt nothing. So he ate more of the pot brownie—and then more after that—and, well, you probably know what happened next. Let’s let Buck tell it:
"I had a brownie and a half, and then we all got in a car—not driving—we were driven down to this bar in Cabo. And as I’m riding down there, I’m trying to text somebody, and the letters start flying off my phone into my face, and I’m like, 'Oh, this is not gonna be good.' We show up. There’s a bachelorette party going on. I’m scared, I’m frightened, and I’m avoiding them. And then I sit down, and I can’t feel my legs. And I talk to the guy that drove us down there, and I said, 'I need to leave right now.' He’s drinking a Coca-Cola, and I said, 'I need to drink that, and I gotta get out of here right now.'
So he helps me to my feet. We stagger. I somehow magically get down the steps and to the exit. I think we’re going to go right, he thinks we’re going to go left. He pulls me left as I go right. I pass out onto the ground, go under a rope with my head hanging off into the marina. I damn near died. I had a dream while I was down there. I popped up, and I went from completely out of it to completely sober, worrying that within the next four minutes, it was going to pop up on Deadspin that I just went down at a bar in Cabo."
Buck is scheduled to call the MLB All-Star Game on Tuesday night. If you happen to be watching it, think about this story while you’re listening to him. Also: stay away from the pot brownies. Or, at the very least, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Or else…