Laurie, it’s Steve. You don’t know me man, but give me a minute of your time. I know you’re busy, you’re naming the NSW State of Origin team on Monday – there’s a lot of pressure on you. But yo, let’s just take a minute. 

We’ve lost nine out of the last ten State of Origin series. That’s a 10% winning margin, it's disgraceful. I understand though, I mean how do you beat this QLD Origin team, with amazing players like Jonathan Thurston, Cameron Smith, and the one of the greatest Origin players NSW has ever produced – Greg Inglis.

But let me say this – I’m from Penrith. This rugby league shit means a disproportionate amount to me. The last ten years have been a very dark time for me. I’ve tried to fill this void with marriage, children, running my own business – these have been hollow pursuits. I just need some sort of respectability restored to the beautiful state of New South Wales. 

If I was unsuccessful nine times out of ten, I wouldn’t have a job anymore bruh. You’ve gotta think about this. You need to overhaul this team. I know Michael Jennings is fast, but you know something? James Roberts has more speed than Oxford Street. He also plays for a winning team. You smell me?

I’ve laid it out here man. Just listen to me, please.

If you ignore my advice, hey man that’s on you. But if you stick with the same tired players and lose again, well...

You Played Yourself