Since Al Davis died in October 2011, the Raiders and their fan base haven’t had much to celebrate. Over the last five seasons, Oakland has gone 8-8, 8-8, 4-12, 4-12, and 3-13. There have also been persistent rumors about the team picking up and moving to Los Angeles. Fun times!

The Raiders finally look like they might have a half-decent team this season, though, thanks to a 2-1 start to the year. However, that Raiders-to-L.A. rumor is still hanging over their heads, so recently, ESPN sent writer Tim Keown to speak with Raiders owner Mark Davis—Al’s son—to get his take on what the future holds for the team. And what Keown discovered is that Mark Davis is pretty much the most amazing owner in the entire NFL.

The lede to Keown’s story is an instant classic and paints a portrait of Davis that we weren’t expecting. Seriously, this is gold:

It’s hard to say that the piece gets better from there because, well, did you read that introduction?! But Keown does provide some other gems about Davis. Here are some of our favorites:

  • Davis, who is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 million, prefers renting cars to taking cabs because it’s cheaper.
  • Davis quit drinking 15 years ago in order to prepare to run the Raiders but hasn’t ruled out the idea of hitting the bottle again if/when the Raiders win the Super Bowl.
  • Davis is not going to change up his haircut, no matter how many times people ask him to do it.

You can check out the entire story here. You won’t be any closer to understanding whether or not the Raiders are going to relocate after reading it, but you will gain a new appreciation for a guy who is more like your unemployed uncle than the leader of a professional sports team.

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[via ESPN]