Just one game into this Spurs-Clippers series, and head coach Gregg Popovich is already eviscerating reporters in post-game press conferences. Pop, known for his surly tone and bite-sized answers to small-minded questions, was particularly over a set of reporters in Los Angeles after last night's game one loss to the Clippers. Let's walk-through the questions that Popovich batted down, because they all fall into one of three categories: Yes/no questions, "talk about it" requests, and "how do you feel?" questions. All of them are Pop-proof. 

How much did DeAndre Jordan affect everything you did offensively in the first half? 

A lot.

At this point, the assembled scrum of reporters should know what they're about to be in for. 

When you intentional foul DeAndre, it helps them set up the defense and slow the game. Do you weigh those factors in? 

I do.

Popovich has no time or words for your second-guessing, media man.

There seemed to be good ball movement and at other times it seemed to be erratic and out of control. Can you talk about that? 

What you said is correct. How long do you want me to talk about it? Maybe I could help everybody by just making a statement, because these questions are unbelievable.

This isn't a real question. It's a reporter's observation followed by a request for Pop to talk about said observation. These types of questions are bullshit, and they drive Pop nuts. Here, we finally see Popovich jump straight to the beef: How long do you want me to talk about it? Maybe I could help everybody by just making a statement, because these questions are unbelievable.

They are unbelievable, yes, because game-to-game basketball coverage from beat writers is often executed in an unbelievable manner. Reporters have word counts and deadlines to adhere to, and from these pressers, they're just looking for quotes to drop into the slotted spaces between their actual copy and the rest of the column. All of the writers are getting the same quotes, so yes Pop, a 100-200 word statement would probably help. The reporters get what they need without embarrassment, and you save yourself the spare minutes and trouble.

We're not done yet though.

What do you feel like you need to do to beat the Clippers in game two? 

You're serious? You want me to... We have to do lots of things better. It's basketball... You're kidding. We have to shoot free-throws better, we have to shoot from three better, we can't turn it over as much, we have to get back in transition better. Does that help?

Good job

Hope it makes you look good. 

Hopefully we get six more games of this. 

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[via The Big Lead