In recent months, a lot of sportswriters have flapped their jaws about the media behavior of Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch

However, this morning, following Lynch's run-in with the press yesterday at Super Bowl Media Day, columnist Marcus Hayes still felt the need to go Beast Mode on Beast Mode. Yes, like many before him, Hayes delivered up a hot take, straight from the oven.

Now, to preface Hayes' take, it bears mentioning that Super Bowl Media Day is a joke. It's a big circus where "reporters" wear barrels...

...and Nickelodeon dusts off Pick Boy (who must be at least 35-years-old by now). 

Then, we have the clowns intrepid reporters like Marcus Hayes.

Yes, Hayes, a writer who actively decided to make his subject out of a man who has been forcefully shunning the spotlight for months now. Lynch's behavior may be old news to some—that is, those who have actually decided to move on with their lives—but, rest assured, Hayes isn't one to go down without a story. He's just a good ol' fashioned newshound!

And here's his latest news dump: 

Lynch stayed on the podium for just under 5 minutes, the minimum required of him. He answered none of the 30 questions asked of him. He repeatedly droned, "I'm just here so I won't get fined," a phrase that trended on Twitter 1 minute after Lynch left the podium. He saluted himself on the big screen in the middle of the US Airways Center. Ever self-serving, Lynch was thrown a bag of Skittles candy, with whom he has an endorsement deal.

Lynch, who timed himself on his smartphone, saw the 5-minute mark pass, arose and said, "Time."

He left the Skittles bag on the stage and bolted.

With more than 57 minutes left in Media Day, Beast Mode entered Airplane Mode and ended all transmissions.

Hayes is adamant in his claim that Lynch "should be fined again" by the NFL and that his obligation to speak with people like Hayes is "part of being an adult." Hayes even makes the bizarre claim that Lynch's behavior pins him as a sort of athletic blue-blood, divorced from the real world and its realities since birth.

His teammates' defense of him is understandable; to them, Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives. They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

Despite their existence in a universe parallel to most people's, they at least should understand the weight of obligation.

To serve his argument, Hayes goes on to detail the appearance of compliance from a professional athlete. Hint: It has something to do with Rob Gronkowski delivering a dramatic reading of A Gronking to Remember

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski created a stir by reading aloud from an erotic novel that starred a fictional version of himself. The erotica was poorly done and, really, coincidental.

Of course, Hayes couldn't leave us without taking a shot at Gronk's intelligence. Stay classy, Marcus!

The news was that Gronk can read.

Yet, despite the fact that Hayes acknowledged Media Day's festival-like atmosphere, for whatever reason, he couldn't offer his seal of approval to Lynch's particular style of performance. It just didn't befit the standards of a professional football player like Gronk's recitation of softcore porn did.

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