How To Survive the Nike Air Yeezy II Launch

So you made it this far. You've perused the lists of stores, put in your DMs and bought your raffle chances. Now all you can do is wait. And whether you have a pair reserved or are still hoping for that e-mail/DM/call, the hope is that you can score your pair tomorrow. We've put together a helpful guide on How To Survive the Nike Air Yeezy II Launch — whether you score a pair or not. You're welcome.

Admittedly, this is probably something you should have been working on way before today. And, had you succeeded, you'd probably be sitting on a yacht looking at Yeezy III sketches right now. Yeezy IIs? Yeah, since last year. Hey, it's never too early to get started for the next drop. You sent him a birthday card, right?

It's Friday, so chances are you've already entered all the raffles, filled out all the forms, called every shop on the list. Now what? Nothing, that's what. Stop refreshing your e-mail and your twitter feed every six seconds and go outside. There's not much more you can do right now — and seeing that you may not have noticed, it's a beautiful June day. Get some sun, you probably need it.

Our friends over at Nice Kicks have put together quite the comprehensive guide to copping Yeezys from NDC — and one of their recommendations is setting your Twitter feed for text alerts. So before you go outside, just double check that your battery is charged. Unless your phone looks like this, in which case you're probably not interested in Yeezy IIs anyway. Also, you probably don't have a Twitter account. Or a computer.

Hey, stranger things have happened. Admittedly, chances are extremely low, and even if they did, the chances of them even making it out to the racks are even lower. But think of the savings!

Are you one of those lucky enough to have your pickup confirmed? Congratulations! Now, good luck leaving a store with a box containing the most sought-after shoes of the millenium. Want our advice? Sure you do! Bring a bag containing an empty, non-NSW shoebox, and stash your Yeezy box inside that. This will obviously not work if your pickup is at a Nike-only retailer, but could be effective elsewhere. In the case of a Nike pickup, maybe use a Jordan box.

So you waited on line for nine days, subsisting on stale Power Bars and sleeping in a chair, and you got nothing. Terribly sorry about that. But please don't compound your plight by taking it out on the more fortunate. Just because you saved up the money doesn't mean you should use it on bail.

So sorry your local store only got one of the first two colors. And that you reeeaaaaaally wanted the Platinum joints but could only get the Solar Reds. If you can arrange an in-person trade with someone you trust who is equally disappointed, good for you. If not, be careful. There will be plenty of unscrupulous types looking to do whatever it takes to come up. The wrong color Yeezy IIs are better than no Yeezy IIs at all.

Contrary to what you may be reading on the Internets, the Yeezy IIs are not the only shoe dropping this weekend. On any other weekend, the "Military Blue" Air Jordan Retro IVs would be quite the come-up. This weekend they've been relegated to Steve Francis in the 2000 Dunk Contest status — next weekend you'll be wondering why you didn't pick them up. Don't let the Yeezy II thirst blind you to everything else.

Tried everything and still came up empty? Don't sell off the entire collection right away. Relax. Breathe. Close the Twitter down and stay off Instagram for a while. Yes, the first instinct is to immediately go onto Flight Club and max out the Visa. Don't. If you've waited this long, you can wait a little longer. Let the prices settle down some. Remember what people were paying for Galaxy Foams in February? Exactly.

Got yours? Good. Congrats. Now wear them. And not just propped up for Instagram purposes. Wear them OUTSIDE. As our friend DJ Clark Kent always reminds us, they're just shoes. Eventually they're going to crumble no matter what you do, so you may as well enjoy them.