Image via Complex Original
Being a sneakerhead is never-ending. You never know when some cool guy on Twitter or Instagram is gonna come at you, bruh. You gotta keep your rep and staying on top of your game is the first part of doing so. Nothing says you're an easy target like a slip-up that makes you look like a n00b. With that said, there are some tell-tale signs that you're falling off. Check out 15 Signs Your Sneaker Game is Slacking and make sure you're not setting yourself up for e-stardom failure.
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You don't own a pair of Chucks.
A great sneaker collection/rotation should be broad as well as deep, with everything from runners to basketball shoes, from adidas to Xanthus. If you've got 800 pairs and they're all Jordans, that doesn't make you a sneaker collector, it makes you a JORDAN collector. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And if you don't have a single pair of Chucks, the Godfather of all basketball sneakers, we can't do nothin' for ya, man.
You can't tell an original from a retro.
Even the best retros should be recognizable to a proper sneakerhead. Recognizing the difference between an Air Jordan XI from 1995 and one from last week should be child's play, even without seeing the tags or the box. In fact, this should be a test to weed out the pretenders. Would you pass?
[pic via MJO23DAN]
You buy something you already own.
By now the routine is quite familiar. Twitter RSVP during the week, cop heavy on the weekends, add to the stacks, repeat. With eBay and Flight Club searches filling the time in between. It's hard to find time to organize, let alone catalog. So when you finally cop that hard-to-find pair - only to find out later you already bought a pair two months ago, that's on you, B.
Your last purchase was a pair of Crocs.
Even this cat knows you're slacking.
Your friends asked you about the Yeezys and you replied you already have his new album.
No one said you have to like the Air Yeezy, and for sure no one said you have to cop, especially at the current insane resale prices. But that's no excuse to not know what people are talking about. Look, Kim Kardashian knows what Yeezys are - get with the program.
You've never ordered a pair from overseas.
Look, there just aren't any excuses any more. Not only do international retailers get exclusives (and design dope collabs), but the best boutiques are even willing to ship globally for free. So basically it's paying the same price for kicks that no one else on the block will have. Stop hating.
When someone says they own Concords, you think they're talking about a plane.
First off that's the Concorde, and second of all, they were all grounded a decade ago. And even if you could buy one on the open market, the going price in '77 when they dropped was roughly $168 million. For one. That's a lot of sneakers. Plus, given their poor track record, a retro probably isn't happening. Although the only thing better than having a pair of sneakers inspired by a supersonic transport is owning said supersonic transport. Do you.
You think Dwayne Wade is still signed to Converse.
Missing Wade's time with Jordan Brand is somewhat understandable. Despite the clever "W3LCOM3 HOM3" campaign, his time in Jumpman was relatively short, and none of his shoes are ever going to be recognized as all-time classics. But yo, this whole Li Ning thing has been huge news since the jump, even with the shoes still not being available in the U.S.. Wake up.
You wore the same pair of sneakers two days in a row.
While you're not DJ Clark Kent or anything (there is only one), you used to pride yourself on rocking a different pair every day. Even if your rotation was short and there were repeats within a couple of weeks, you would never, ever throw on the same pair on consecutive days. Never that. Then one morning you woke up late and just threw on what was right by the door and - whoops, can't Instagram those again.
You forgot your Niketalk password, again.
Everyone stops posting on Niketalk eventually - Twitter and Instagram have done for messageboards what cell phones did for pay phones - but do you even remember why you stopped? Was there a specific reason (like getting banned for the 47th time), are you focusing on your own thing now, or did it just get lost in the shuffle? And do you even remember what your password is anymore? C'mon son.
Your eBay watch list is all ended auctions.
Back when you were really on top of things, you'd search eBay every day - using all kinds of weird terms and misspellings in order to get stupid deals on poorly listed kicks. Now your My eBay page is a wasteland of finished listings, a virtual where-are-they-now museum of missed opportunities. Delete yesterday's dreams and get back on tomorrow's.
You're still trying to sell those Jeremy Lin Knicks Air Force 1s...for over retail.
Bruh.
You don't know release dates.
"Oh shit, those came out?" We know that there are a ton of drops every week with hardly a single day off, but that's no excuse to miss out on something major. Either bookmark a page, stay up on Twitter, or type them in your Palm Pilot - whatever it takes.
Your kicks aren't clean.
Unless you're intentionally rocking dirty kicks on some IDGAF steez, there is absolutely no reason to be walking around living that Pig Pen life. There's no shortage of sneaker-specific cleaning products available, and even without those you could probably come up on a paper towel and some Windex. Show some respect.
You don't use the #complexkicks hashtag on Instagram or Twitter.
How do you expect people to see the photos you post if you don't hashtag properly? Skip all the nonsense that doesn't mean anything anyway and act like you know.