10 Things Sneakerheads Think Are Important But Aren't

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Forget weddings and proms, you can still be a sneakerhead even if you wear hardbottom shoes to church or school or work. There is no sneakerhead police running random checks to make sure you wear sneakers every minute of every day. And hey, if you didn't post it on Instagram it never happened. Right?

Look, we're not saying NEVER clean your sneakers. If you drip ice cream on your brand-new Jordans, or if you have to take a detour through a muddy field in your Vans, by all means clean them. But at the same time, there's no need to sit for hours with a tweezers and a magnifying glass desperately trying to make a pair of two-year old sneakers look new. Aging happens to everyone and everything. Embrace it. Besides, some sneakers look better lived in.

Is it good to know that Michael Jordan really wanted to sign with adidas out of college, or that he wore the Air Ship before the Air Jordan was ready? Sure. Is it essential to your well-being and reputation? Er, it shouldn't be.

The second a photo of a new sneaker (or a new colorway) appears on NikeTalk or Twitter or Instagram, the comments are sure to follow. Sometimes it seems like everyone with even a passing interest in sneakers feels the need to offer their opinion, even if it's based on one blurry iPhone photo of an unfinished sample that's 3/4 covered by a poorly Photoshopped tag. It's OK to wait, Ebert.

Is there a reason you wear the sneakers you do? Of course there is - it's what separates you from those "other" people who are content to buy whatever's on sale at TJ Maxx. But here's the thing - just because there IS a story doesn't mean everyone wants to hear it. When someone says "nice sneakers," you don't have to tell them that they're the 2001 retros, not the 2011s, and that you got them after... oh shit, they left. Next time a simple "thanks" will do.

Instagram is simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to sneakers. On one hand, you can see what other people are wearing every day. On the other hand, YOU CAN SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE WEARING EVERY DAY. If you've dutifully posted your kicks every day for the past year, congratulations. Now take a day - or a month - off. Dress for yourself.

"What? You don't own a pair of *insert sneaker name here*. And you consider yourself a sneakerhead?" Why yes, actually.

This goes hand-in-hand with the need to own every sneaker. Yes, wearing a pair of "Chicago" Air Jordan Xs on the anniversary of the "I'm Back!" fax is cool - to some people. Most won't care. And they'll care even less when you have to tell them all about it. And unless you're Tinker Hatfield, you're pretty much never going to wear something that no one else has. Or like, you're showing off your early Spiz'ikes, who do you think you are, Spi - oops, sorry.

In a time where retailers both drop sneakers early and re-stock nearly every significant release, why pay such close attention to release dates? They inevitably change, to begin with, and even if you do miss out, you'll probably get another chance. Not to mention the proliferation of consignment shops means you can get anything, anytime.

It's not that serious. On social media, if you're just going to type "FIRST LIKE" or "FIRST COMMENT," what do you get out of it? You might as well just type "NERD," since it's closer to the truth AND takes less time to type. As for actually getting a pair of sneakers early, a) someone got them weeks before you, no matter how early you lined up, and b) you're not going to wear them out of the house for weeks, if not months, anyway. Right?