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Everyone has to start somewhere. We know that. And those of us who are heavily into sneakers understand that there's a learning process involved, one that everyone has to go through. Back in the day, before the blogosphere big bang, there was no choice but to go through it alone. Which was good and bad—you may have made more mistakes, but no one outside your direct circle ever had to know about them. Now, with your Tumblr linked to your Twitter linked to your Instagram linked to your Facebook, the whole world can know about your sneaker screw-ups within moments of their happening. So before taking that flick of your latest pick-up, check out 10 Signs You're a Sneakerhead Newbie. There's no shame in making mistakes, but hey, the fewer the better, right?
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You keep track of exactly how many pairs you have.
When you're new to the game, every purchase is important, every milestone huge. Ten pairs, 20, 100. After that, things tend to get dicey. First you start approximating: "Oh man, I don't know, 300 pairs?" Then, when you're a true vet, you start approximating DOWN, partially so your girl doesn't get mad, and partially because the reality is simply too terrifying to contemplate: "A thousand pairs? Nah, it's only like 500. At most. Seriously."
You pay re-seller prices instead of waiting for a re-stock.
It's an all too familiar feeling amongst longtime sneaker fiends: Release day comes, and you can think of nothing but the day's biggest release. Then you strike out everywhere, and the need becomes downright pathological—you'll pay anything to get that sneaker today. Don't give in. Paying double retail to some re-seller just to see a re-stock happen the following week is the worst.
You're tempted to eat the silica gel.
Doesn't it look good? Like bubble tea without the tea. Maybe the warning isn't that serious - look, it's even in quotes. Before you do eat it, though, look up "dessicant." Mmmmm, tasty.
You think all good releases require a campout.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with camping out for sneakers. It's a lot more fun than clicking "refresh" 5376456735 times, and the friends you make will probably last longer than whatever pair of sneakers it is you come up on. But don't limit yourself. There are some GRs worth picking up, too.
You buy fakes.
It's not just newbies—anyone can get got by fakes. Especially since they're getting so good these days. But there's a difference between being duped by a stitch-perfect fake of a real shoe and thinking you're getting an "exclusive." Just remember, if a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. And this is a mistake you should only ever make once.
You can't tell the difference between the Air Jordan VI and the Jordan 6 Rings.
Look carefully at the sneaker above. Can you identify it correctly? Good.
You think clearance sneakers are for losers.
A sneaker should not be judged by price tag alone. There are so many dope releases these days that it's impossible for everything to sell out—and stores constantly need to be making space for their next shipment. Keep an eye on clearance racks (and those "SALE" tabs) and find last month's must-have drops for cheap.
You pick your favorite sneaker based on what other people think.
There is nothing wrong with the Air Jordan III being your favorite sneaker. It's the one that got a lot of people into sneakers in the first place, and it helped define what an Air Jordan should be. That said, your favorite should be your favorite for your own reasons. Don't be ashamed to think different.
Your collection consists only of Foamposites.
"Hmmmmm, what should I collect? What's the most expensive Nike? Foamposites? Sounds good!" DISCLAIMER: We're pretty sure the Foamposites shown here are merely part of a collection, and are merely intended to illustrate the point.
You call retros "OGs"
Sneakers should never be referred to as "OGs" in the first place. But if you insist, please use it for actual originals. The '99 Jordan IVs weren't OG anything, unless you mean "OG retros," which makes zero sense. Don't make Ice-T angry. Er, angrier.