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Sneaker culture nowadays is much different than sneaker culture from, say, 10 years ago, and light years away from what it was like in the '80s. If someone doesn't keep themselves current, they can easily get lost in an ever-moving tide of release dates, kids lining up for sneakers, and the dubious methods that people go about to get their sneakers.
Not being up on current sneaker culture might be a good thing for some people: They don't have to deal with some of the worst elements that surround sneakers, but they're also missing out on the good stuff. As much as sneaker culture has changed over the past decade, there's been plenty of great revelations. But there are also things, good or bad, that if a sneakerhead isn't up on, will make them look like they woke up from a Rip Van Winkle-like sleep—crusty-eyed, parched, and wanting Jordan XIs. Find out if you're one of them. Here are 10 Signs You're Out of Touch With Sneaker Culture.
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You buy your size.
The newest crop of sneakerheads has enacted a new trend: Buying whatever size is available. There’s a subculture of people trying to trade release date sneakers, but there’s also people who have gone through hell and high water just to purchase a sneaker, and they won’t leave release day without a sneaker in hand. If they wear a size 7.5, they’ll still purchase a 10.5 and wear it, just because.
But you’ll ask for your size 9 (or maybe a 9.5), and if the store is out of stock, you’ll just keep it moving. The kid after you will take whatever they've got.
You're surprised that New Balances come in colors other than grey or blue
New Balance might be one of the most simplistic sneaker brands when it comes to its color schemes, but the brand has ventured out into using different shades of suede—believe it or not. You’re used to your 990s and 577s in grey or blue suede. You once took a risk and bought the pair that used both colors. When someone showed you "The 25 Best New Balance Sneakers of 2013," you had to check your calendar. It's not 1987 anymore.
You buy sneakers because you like them.
There was a time when the only reason someone purchased a pair of sneakers was because: 1) That’s what they wanted, or 2) That’s all they could afford. The concept of purchasing sneakers to keep up with other sneakerheads is lost on you. You often find that the sneakers you want the most are on the sales racks. They're sneakers, not trading cards, right? If you wanted impress people with something "deadstock," you'd break out your Michael Jordan rookie card—in mint condition.
You expect to pay $65 for a pair of SB Dunks.
Nike SB Dunks have a history of selling for over retail price in skate shops. But you show up to the spot with $65, the original retail price for a pair of Tiffanys, and wonder why the shop is charging $218. You don’t skate, but wonder why a skate shop won’t sell you a pair of sneakers, or think they can charge you way over retail. Foot Locker never charged you double for a pair of Air Jordans because you couldn’t shoot a three-pointer.
You have no idea what a bot is.
“A bot, what’s that?” you probably ask yourself. The concept of getting sneakers through Twitter RSVPs or out-teching fellow sneakerheads on the Internet is lost upon you. In fact, you were hoping that you’d be able to pay for the sneakers in cash and get a 10 percent discount—no technology involved whatsoever. Your Twitter feed doesn’t even include Heidi Burgett or Nike Store. You haven’t added Twitter followers since the handful that Twitter suggested when you joined.
You don't call sneakers by horrible nicknames.
"Cherry" XIIs, "Raptor" VIIs, and "Bred" XIs—you've never heard any of these nicknames before. When kids ask if you're buying any of these sneakers, or own them, you look with sheer confusion. They laugh, clown you, and question your sneaker passion. Unbeknown to them, you had every single one of those sneakers when they first released—but you just called the sneakers by their colors, not made-up nicknames.
You still wait for the All-Star Game for players to break out crazy sneakers.
Waiting for the All-Star Game is a yearly ritual of yours. Which sneakers would the NBA's finest break out this season? Would they ever top Mike wearing the Aquas? If you're still waiting for the ASG to see players wear something other than their team-colored PEs, you're just as out of touch with sneaker culture as you are the NBA. There are so many days that players can wear non-uniform sneakers, thanks to David Stern, that it feels like it's more likely for someone to wear sneakers that don't match their uniform rather than than ones that do.
You go to Foot Locker and think you'll get sneakers on the "2 for $89" deal.
Foot Locker stopped its infamous "2 for $89" promotion in 2007. But that doesn't stop you from thinking that you're going to pick up a pair of New Balance 574s and a pair of last-season's Iversons—even though he hasn't been in the NBA since 2010 or had a signature since 2009—for under $90. You're forced to come to the harsh realization that you'll barely have enough for a pair of white/white Air Force 1s, and you'll have to skip out on the Orange Julius this time. Bummer.
You think winning a sneaker raffle means you get the sneakers for free.
Your O.G. Fire Red Vs just crumbled last week when you broke them out. But you went to the local mall, and instead of buying a new pair of sneakers, you saw that the Vs were being retroed and one of the sneaker stores was holding a raffle for them. You wouldn't even have to drop $170 on the sneakers—you could get them for free. Two days later, the store manager called you to let you know you had won the raffle, and could pick up your 10.5 this Saturday starting at 9 a.m. You get to the store, thinking that you'd have an extra $170 for this weekend and a free pair of sneakers. But when the manager alerts you that you can't try the sneakers on and will just pay the cashier, you realize this is one huge cruel joke.
You wonder why Air Jordans are sold out on release day at 10 a.m.
Release day is finally here. Someone told you last week that Jordan was bringing back some sneakers from the '80s, and you had to get a pair. You had them as a kid. So, you figure you'd get a jump on the sneakers: show up to the mall around 10-10:30 a.m., bright and early, and pick up the sneakers you've wanted since back in the day. But when you get to the mall and ask if the IIIs are available in a size 9, the sales associate laughs at you. "Man, those sold out three hours ago," he says. You run to every other store in the mall, and they're all sold out—just as the rest of the stores in the mall lift their gates for business.
