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Being labeled as basic is nearly a death sentence in today's society. It's the declaration that someone's taste level is so low or simple that they've been rendered utterly non-stylish. The average assumption of a bro is that he's in boat shoes, pastel polo, and short shorts. But basic bros come in many variations. Some of them may even be sneakerheads.
What does a basic sneakerhead bro look like, though? To help everyone save themselves from these mistakes, here are 8 Signs You're a Basic Sneakerhead Bro.
You think wearing a bigger sneaker size makes you more of a man.
The bigger the better, right? Not exactly when it comes to sneakers. You wear your size, or maybe even grab something a little smaller so the sneaker fits better. But not for sneakerhead bros. Who wants to have a smaller foot than the next man? Who actually wears anything below a size 11? Not these guys. Don't ask to measure their feet, either. Let them have their size 12s, even though they're a 9.5, and have them be the ones walking around in clown shoes all day.
Nike Dunks, Air Force 1s, and Blazers are all referred to as "Nike High-Tops," even if they're mids.
High-top Nike sneakers are so cool, and they're all the same sneaker — even if they're completely different silhouettes — to the basic sneakerhead bro. "Give me a pair of all-white Nike high-tops," he might say upon his entrance to the local Foot Locker. If he wants a pair of Forces, Dunks, or even the Nike Prestige, no one knows. To him, they're all the same anyway.
When you're not wearing sneakers, it's strictly Jordan slides and Nike Elite socks.
Sneakers are always the basic sneakerhead bro's first option, but there's only one acceptable option after that. No, it's not a pair of boots or hardbottom shoes. It's Jordan slides and Nike Elite socks. He could be a baller, or maybe he's not. But he's as quick to slide into his second favorite footwear option as he is your girl's DMs.
Your favorite Air Max is the Air Max Wright.
Nike has a long history, 28 years to be exact, of making groundbreaking sneakers that use the brand's Air Max technology. It even celebrated this event a month ago for its second-annual Air Max Day. One sneaker that's given the "Air Max" name that Nike didn't invite to the party? The Air Max Wright, which is a variation of the Air Max LTD, and has an Air unit similar to the Air Max 93, but looks more like an Air Max 90 with a clunky sole. To the basic sneakerhead bro, though, they're just "Air Maxes." And if they come in white, it's even better.
Who has time to tie sneakers?
For those who didn't catch the memo, tying sneakers is for lames. Who needs laces? Marty McFly didn't need them, and neither does the basic sneakerhead bro. Expect to catch him with his latest pair of sneakers loosened all the way up until the laces are nearly falling out of the eyelets. If this isn't his preferred lacing method, his sneakers are still untied, but they're tucked behind the tongue of his Jordan Vs.
Your mom camps out for you.
Research numbers haven't come in, but it's highly likely, or at least believable, that a strong percentage of basic sneakerhead bros still live at home. They're also the type that has their mom, or maybe their girlfriend, camp out for them. The basic sneakerhead bro might not be the biggest collector, but he needs everything that's new. In today's society, that requires waiting in line, or at least having an auto-refresh on Nike Store's Twitter feed. Don't let the bro fool anybody. He's not the one putting in the leg work, unless he's at the gym.
Your no.1 place to stunt sneakers is the mall.
The American shopping mall has long been a meeting point of suburban style and mass culture. It's where the average person goes to pick up the latest wares, and it's the place that the basic sneakerhead bro goes to purchase all of his sneakers, if he's not getting them online. The mall is also the place where he travels to show off his latest pickups. Expect to see him wearing the Jordans that just he purchased earlier that day as he struts around with his crew, picks up some tank tops, and chowing down on Panda Express. If he's lucky enough, someone will notice his recently acquired sneakers and he'll get a movie date that evening.
You actually use force fields.
The biggest nemesis of sneakerheads around the world before the advent of bots was creases. People have long gone to lengths to prevent this sad truth of wearing sneakers. Stuffing their sneakers with extra socks, buying their pairs a half to whole size smaller, or placing heel pads in the toe box. They've done it all. Then they invented Force Fields, a device made to stop sneakers from creasing all together. And they're awful. Basic sneakerhead bros, on the other hand, love them. Why would they want their sneakers to get all wrinkled, even if it requires them to walk funny?
