What Type of Celebrity Runner Are You?

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Complex Original

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We know you've seen all those pictures of celebs out for their morning run on the gossip blogs; we sure have. We aren't focused on whether they are jogging with their mistress or if their underthings are poking out like TMZ or Perez Hilton though. No, we are looking at the form, the style, and the attitude of these celebrity runners. Sometimes we see a little bit of their workout style in ourselves. If you take away the wealth, the fame and the beauty, celebrities are just a bunch of people who run very strangely, just like you or I. With that in mind, we ask What Kind of Celebrity Runner Are You? Here are ten famous people that, like it or not, might run just like you.

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No. 10 – Miley Cyrus

Type of Runner: Casual Friday

While having a father who wrote Achey Breaky Heart and a hit show on the Disney Channel can set you up for a successful music career and a media empire, there are some rules no one should break. Cut-off jean shorts and Tom’s aren’t exactly preferred performance gear. Toss in the John Lennon sunglasses and designer tank and this is makes a great outfit for a night out in Williamsburg, but it is far from ideal for the morning jog.


No. 9 – DJ Paulie D

Type of Runner: The Thinker

It is well-documented that the only things Paulie D thinks about are G-T-L, but we must admit that he looks rather contemplative in this picture. People like Paulie should remember that while your morning jog is a great time to think about life’s great questions, you should also keep your eyes peeled for oncoming traffic.

 No. 8 – Harrison Ford

Type of Runner: The Multitasker

Harrison, dude, we get it. You’re the President, the Fugitive and Indiana Jones. Hell, according to IMDB, you were “Officer Bob Falfa” in the sequel to American Graffiti, but, come on man, one thing at a time.

Talking on your phone and sipping coffee while working out is only hurting yourself … and the barista who is trying to write your name on the cup as you pant and wheeze your way through the spelling at the counter.

 No. 7 – David Letterman

Type of Runner: The Hobo Sheik

Not everyone is going to have shelves of performance gear hanging in their closet, and at least Dave didn't just go out in his street clothes like young Miley. That being said, one of our primary goals when we go out running is to avoid being confused with a degenerate leering hobo. Also, flashing the “hang loose” sign may compliment the board shorts, but not your running form.

No. 6 – Rihanna

Type of Runner: The Metaphor

Sure, we could critique Rihanna’s form and clothing here, but we would probably be missing a point. It is difficult to consider those things when your jogging is less about fitness and more about a thematic device. Rihanna is running to increase her health here, but rather than focusing on weight loss and such, she is focused on escaping a drug-addled co-dependent relationship in the We Found Love video. So, no hate here Rihanna, just get away from the dude before he tattoos your other buttcheek.


No. 5 – Kanye West

Type of Runner: The Enrique Iglesias

It is common knowledge that the surest sign that you are in the presence of a romantic hero is that he is sweating through his half-unbuttoned white dress shirt. When love is on the line (even in a weird experimental film about a bird woman), there is no time to change into your workout clothes before hitting the road. Generally speaking, when someone is running in this attire, they are going to end up in a romantic entanglement with a super model, so they really don’t need any advice from us.

 No. 4 – Matthew McConaughey

Type of Runner: The Showboat

The thing we love about Matthew McConaughey is he keeps getting older … and he still can't keep his shirt on while jogging.

 No. 3 – Rick Ross

Type of Runner: The Bawse

Mr. Ross, pardon us for one moment. Yes, see, might we suggest that it probably isn’t a good idea to wear a large cross pendant while jogging? Also, the glasses, shorts, shoes … really the whole ensemble ... isn't optimal for getting your fitness on. We just thought it might be a good idea to provide some constructive criticism.

You know what? Nevermind. Pretend we never brought it up. We're just going to go cower in the corner until you leave. Please don't hurt us.


No. 2 – Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise

Type of Runner: The Couples Council

Running with your significant other seems like a good idea at first. Hey, everyone else is doing it, and it might just add meaning to your life. But before you know it, you find yourself systematically alienated from your friends and family and pouring countless hours and piles of money into a religious pyramid scheme.

Okay, maybe that’s just TomKat. But, running with your beau might slow your pace, so be careful.


No. 1 – Russel Brand

Type of Runner: The Free Spirit

Sometimes your priority with performance gear isn’t necessarily what is the best for running, but what is best for you. You should always run in an outfit that makes you feel comfortable. Such an outfit will make you feel your best and help you drive for results. Sometimes it is not a bad idea to let your freak flag fly.

For Russel Brand, that "sometimes" is all the time.

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