These Nike Air Safari Deconstructs are fairly standard, but they have gum soles and the gawd Tinker Hatfield designed them so no one can talk shit. I don't know if that last bit is sneakerhead law canon, but I feel like it should be. Anyways, I feel like these look like the sneakers I would wear if I was, like, the owner of a pressed juice company. We'd brag about how our hydraulic presses squeeze all of the nutrients out of the kale and explain how the friction from other juicing designs can cook off some essential nutrients. So, right, I would be wearing these in my Fortune 500 profile where I talk about how "the real goal isn't profits, but sustainability and a healthier world." Then, I would go spend all my juice money on cocaine.