Since being unveiled last December, the Kobe 9 Elite has been one of the most talked about sneakers of 2014. While in its original, ultra high top form the shoe is virtually unwearable, its low version is a sleek Flyknit style with a basketball-ready sole (whatever the fuck that means 'cause I just made it up). Now the sneaker is set to be released in two new colorways, one being a terrible purple and the other a much better grey/black. You could probably play some pretty good pick up in these if you wanted to, doing your best Kobe impression by twirling in the air before falling on your fucking face, but chances are you'll just rock them with rolled up jeans and a T-shirt, while get shithoused at a party for that girl you know's birthday. She won't give a flying fuck about your new kicks, but maybe her boyfriend will, which will allow you to gain his trust as you float like the Black Mamba himself into his chick's DMs. The Kobe 9 Low Elite "Beethoven" drops July 12.