The Biebers’ marriage has been well-documented since it began in 2018, but shortly before they got hitched they found themselves in a not-so-great place.

Hailey and Justin Bieber gave a joint interview on In Good Faith with Chelsea and Judah Smith on Monday, and Hailey disclosed on the podcast that there was a chunk of time when she and Justin weren’t speaking. 

“It was actually very sad when we didn’t speak,” she said. “I did something that really hurt him, and I think that kind of maybe took that idea [of marrying me] out of his mind at that point.”

Hailey wouldn’t go into specifics, only saying she did “something very immature and stupid.”

“There was really one solidified moment where I think it damaged the idea of me for you,” she told Justin during the episode.

The issues apparently put further strain on Justin’s already strenuous mental health battle, and Hailey said she at one point called her mom to express doubt about their future together. “I was calling her, I was crying, and I was like, ‘I just can’t do it. There’s no way that I’m going to be able to do this if it’s going to be like this forever,’” she said. “She was so calm on the phone, and she was like, ‘It’s going to pass, and you’re going to be fine, and he’s going to be healthy, and we’re here for you.’” 

Regardless of the issues they were facing, Hailey said she was still dedicated to her soon-to-be-husband. “But I also just think I was in it,” she went on to say. “I made a decision. I know for a fact that I’ve loved this person for a very long time and now would not be the time to give up on him. I just wouldn’t do that to him. … Imagine abandoning somebody in the middle of the worst time of their life potentially. I’m not that type of person.” 

Justin spoke briefly on depression, saying he was going through it so intensely that he was having “out of body experiences.”

“I had experienced so many things in my life. So many milestones and traveled the world and seen everywhere in the world,” Justin said. “And I just got to a place where I was lonely, and I just didn’t want to do it all alone. I realized there was some serious healing I needed to go through in order to get to a place where I could be in a healthy, serious relationship because I had a lot of trauma and scars. So I just committed to working on those things and getting healthy.”

The singer seems to be in a much better place now, as he was seen this past weekend stepping out with Kanye West, Roddy Ricch, and Marilyn Manson to perform at Ye’s most recent Sunday Service.