Stephen Colbert Warns America About Trump Sending Unblockable Mass Texts Once President

Keeping up with the daily dump of President-elect follies is a full-time job, but surely you didn't miss this: Starting Jan. 20, the President-elect will have the ability to send unblockable mass text messages to every damn phone in the country. Stephen Colbert, voicing the concerns of all of us with functioning intellects, used his Late Show platform on Thursday to warn everyone as to why this is a very worrisome detail regarding the White House transition process.

"How's everybody doing?" Colbert said at the top of the show. "That is good to hear. Like America, I continue to exist. With roughly seven weeks until he takes office, President-elect Donald Trump still has a few things he's researching, like what does the president do. But now we know he knows it's not going to be that easy, because Donald Trump surrogate and flesh snowman Newt Gingrich recently told USA Today that he talked to Trump about Trump's new responsibilities as president and, according to Gingrich, Trump said 'This is really a bigger job than I thought.'"

Noting that doing the White House thing was indeed much more difficult than "filming a reality show in your apartment," Colbert then took a dive into how that mass texting capability might mirror the President-elect's reckless Twitter habits. "It's how he's going to talk to the American people, how he's going to comfort us in hard times, you know?" Colbert joked. "His toilet-side chats. The good news is you don't have to read his tweets, you can...unfollow Trump, delete Twitter, go into the world, live your life. But the bad news is, starting Jan. 20, Trump can send unblockable mass text messages to the entire nation."