Somewhere in America, even Donald Trump is doing a double take before violently vomiting. Earlier this week, conservativeradio host sith lord Jan Mickelson revealed his own plan for immigration reform in the United States. While Trump's much-discussed assertions that all immigrants are either rapists or criminals is an insult to the progressive intellect of a vast majority of the country, Mickelson's summation of an ideal America is worse. So. Much. Worse.
On a recent episode of his show, somehow not named I Wish I Were Glenn Beck But I'll Settle for Average Deranged Racist, Mickelson said his plan would involve making undocumented immigrants property of his home state of Iowa. As part of their property status, these individuals would then be forced into what Mickelson describes as "compelled labor." According to MediaMatters, Mickelson also suggested that these forced laborers would assist in building that thing Republicans can't seem to stop fapping to: a wall between Mexico and the United States:
Of course, all of that is dangerously stupid enough. But, like Trump and Beck and others before him, Mickelson is not one to back away from a challenge of "Hey, how racist can you possibly be?" Apparently, Mickelson can be thisracist:
It should warm your heart to know that Mickelson's show has previously welcomed fellow sith lords Rick Santorum, Carly Fiorina, Ted Cruz, and Mike Huckabee. Hopefully, Trump really is Bill Clinton's ingeniously planted implosion device. The sooner that thing detonates, the better.
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