6 movies to watch after a break up that will remind you your life isn't over

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There are relationships other than the romantic variety that are worth exploring. Familial relationships, friendships, the bind between mentor and mentee are often the subject matter of films but rarely the happy ending. Relying on a happy couple walking off into the sunset is also not a particularly interesting formula for story telling, especially when it’s a structure that’s repeated over and over again. It is difficult to find a satisfying ending to a story that doesn’t fall back on this and the ability to do so often speaks to a certain level of skill in the filmmaker.

The idea that a romantic partner is what we should strive for above all else is explored in PJ Hogan’s 1994 film Muriel’s Wedding, where the protagonist feels she won’t be a success until she’s married. The connection she finds with an old school friend Rhonda is essential to her evolvement as a woman and far more valuable than the bond she shares with the man she finds to marry in the personal’s section of the local paper. Her belief that her worth is tied up in her being a wife causes her to overlook her former friend in favor of the stranger she’s wedded for visa reasons, and it’s only after a family tragedy that she realizes her mistake. We see her true happiness in the final moments of the film, which show the two women in the back of a cab screeching with laughter on their way to a new life together.

Another less common theme to explore is the satisfaction that can be derived from establishing a sense of peace with an ex partner. Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz examines what happens after the fairy tale romance is over, and the second fairy tale romance that interrupted it begins to lose its shine. Margot and Lou have been happily married for years when Margot finds herself drawn to their attractive neighbor. She decides to break up her picture perfect marriage and is estranged from her former husband’s family and mutual friends. The idea that Lou can come to accept the hurtful, though not uncommon, scenario is fairly radical in cinema especially where a gender division exists in cheating narratives. The philandering husband is often forgiven, but the wife who strays is rarely seen as a redemptive character. That Lou is able to entertain a friendship with his ex-wife is as hopeful an ending as any, and one that still shows the birth of a new relationship.

Desiree Akhavan’s 2014 directorial debut Appropriate Behavior tackles a similar situation in the context of the break up of the protagonist Shirin’s first major relationship with another woman, Maxine. Shirin’s adventures in coping with her pain are not only screamingly funny, but also very relatable. She attempts to navigate the world of online dating, takes a foray into casual sex, experiments with making Maxine jealous and tries being part of a threesome before ultimately coming to terms with what was unhealthy in her former relationship. Both Shirin and Lola’s stories reflect a realization most of us have experienced: attempts to move on after a relationship are not always successful and, often, we just need to be on our own for a while.

Baumbach’s previous films demonstrate his comfort with veering from the traditional romantic comedy narrative. 2005’s The Squid and the Whale is a meditation on divorce and its impact on children. Bernard and Joan’s sons Walt and Frank are initially very hurt and confused by their parents’ divorce, both choosing their father’s side in anger at their mother’s transgression. However as the boys come to spend time with both their parents and get to know them separately as individuals, they realize picking the “good guy” and the “bad guy” in a divorce is not always as clear cut as it seems. The ending, though not exactly “happy”, leaves a sense of satisfaction at the two children reaching a level of understanding about their parents’ situation.

Baumbach’s Frances Ha, released in 2012, is the story of Frances, a woman in her late 20s coming to terms with friendship break-ups while attempting to figure out the mess that is her life. The film focuses on Frances’ friendship with Sophie which begins to face grown up conflicts such as a difference in incomes, life goals and disapproval of each others’ lifestyles. Romance takes a backseat as Frances tackles adulthood and our heroine must find happiness within herself rather than in the arms of someone else.

The number of feel-good films that subvert the traditional “boy meets girl” storyline is so small they are categorized in the “Romantic Comedy” genre, but, in truth, they’re a different category of film altogether—films that examine romance and singlehood without devolving into cliches, and instead focus on the nuances of human experience. As we stumble towards greater cultural diversity and filmmakers and storytellers from varying backgrounds enter the arena, this genre will grow. Audiences no longer want to see the same tired story being rehashed with different actors. In life, there are so many versions of a “happy ending” it doesn’t make sense that so few films explore all the various aspects of the human experience. Hopefully more filmmakers will be inspired to look at different ideas of happiness, and the final kiss will be just one of the possible endings, as it is in real life.