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Technological advancement and innovation gives the world, and especially us priveleged 'Muricans, constant access to information. Unfortunately for us priveleged 'Muricans, 95 percent of it is irrelevant. Your coworker's tweets about why she's still #teamchrisbrown, news anchors discussing Kanye West's girlfriend's baby, and any time Miley Cyrus moves her butt—all information you could've lived without.
Don't worry, we're here to weed out the unecessary and educate you on exactly what you need to know about this great nation. We deliver only the most vital: how many McDonalds exist in a 10 mile radius of your neighborhood, the best states to celebrate 4/20 in, and the states with the least attractive residents (cuffing soon is fast approaching). Here are 20 maps that reveal everything you need to know about the United States. We apologize in advance to Texans.
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Never go to Oregon
...or Jersey.
It's The Sound of the Police
Washington is where it's at.
North Carolina, C'mon and Raise Up
It's OK, Texas. You still have really great brisket.
Jenny Craig Is Your Friend
Stoners in Colorado are doing it wrong.
Yellow Fever
Just imagine the deleted Internet history in Nevada.
In and Out, FTW!
Colorado is better than your state.
Your College Degree is Irrelevant
Hope you threw a football around during study breaks.
Border Patrol
Business Insider figured out where the hipsters are coming from. Now we just have to figure out how to stop them.
The United State of Golden Arches
People in the Midwest know they're mad though.
JailBait
If she still thinks Miley Cyrus is Hannah Montana, she's too young for you bro.
The Most Terrifying Image You Will See Today
The internet used to occupy this triangle in 1969. Just this tiny little triangle. Thank God for WiFi.
Internet Speed By State
To redeem the 1969 Internet picture. Long live fast internet.
Seriously, Texas?
This map shows "the geography of unintended pregnancy." Would you rather buy diapers for 3 years or a condom for a night?
Kendrick already let us know the move. And your cough really is getting worse.
16 and Pregnant...and Southern
Time for MTV to set up shop in Texas.
The Country Has Spoken
This is why you can't marry your second cousin.
Pac Was Right
California knows how to party.
Texas and its Lies
Did Taylor Swift write Oregon's state motto?
Way to Redeem Yourself, Texas
Word to Utah.
Poor Ohio
The man who gave the world "spraaang break forever" represents your state. Reason #1 to emmigrate.
Emmaland: Popular Girl Names of 2012
Remember when your mom told you how special you were before she tucked you in at night? She lied.
United by Laughter: Comedians by Their Birth State
Florida takes the L.
One of These Things is Not Like the Others
Spring Break 2014: Wisconsin.
Land of the STD
Wired mapped the 7 Deadly Sins. Here's lust based on the number of STD cases reported in the area. Green means the population is "saintly," while red means "devilish."
What's in a Name?
We're down with bringing New Amsterdam back as long certain laws from the European country are extended to the American city.