Pop Culture

26 Ways the MTA Ruins Your Day Enough to Make You Want to Ride a Bike

Angry everyday.

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Since NYPD commissioner William J. Bratton took office earlier this year, the number of arrests of peddlers and panhandlers on public transportation has increased dramatically, but it's going to take more than that to improve the shitty passenger experience provided by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in New York City.

There is no public transportation equivalent for road rage, but many MTA passengers share the same violent anger that causes drivers in Los Angeles to break things with crowbars, golf clubs, and baseball bats. New Yorkers respond to horrible MTA service and stalled union negotiations with GIFs, boycotts, and strikes. When things get really bad, we take taxis, walk, or ride bicycles (alternatives that have their own set of problems.)

When it comes to the morning commute, however, most New Yorkers are at the mercy of the MTA and its unreliable service. Here are just a few of the suboptimal scenarios one encounters on the train or bus daily—some of them horrible enough to make you seriously consider finding a new mode of transportation.

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When stations, trains, and buses take forever to catch up to the 21st Century.

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When the population of a certain neighborhood increases, but the MTA doesn't add more buses or trains.

When people won't wait for you to get off the train.

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When you need to travel across town, but your only option is the bus.

When people call it "the best public transportation system in the world."

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When you see a frightening station manager portrait.

When you've been waiting for a train forever and then a garbage train arrives.

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When you see MTA workers sitting on the platform benches.

When parents physically or verbally abuse their children.

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When you see the mom with two strollers who can't find a seat.

When someone starts screaming racial or homophobic epithets.

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When the Iraq veteran has to beg for money because our VA system is fucked.

When the A train is running on the F line (which makes it the F train.)

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When there is a service interruption or "train traffic ahead of us."

When someone starts bitching about any of the things on this list.

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When the "MTA Improving Non-Stop" ads keep lying to you.

When predatory for-profit colleges advertise on the train.

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When you're bored enough to read a "Poetry in Motion" poem.

When your eye catches a glimpse of the unattractive subway art.

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When you get kicked by the "It's Showtime" dancers.

When someone vomits.

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When someone eats rank-ass food.

When the train is so crowded you feel like you're trapped in a pig farm.

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When the fare increases.

When a bus actually kills someone.

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When the train actually kills someone.

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