Image via Complex Original
Considering the record number of hats James Franco is wearing nowadays—author, director, film critic, college professor, and NASCAR grand marshal are just a few of his many side jobs—it only seems appropriate that he’d have something to do with a cataclysmic event that will surely end in world annihilation. Which is the simple explanation of the plot of This is the End, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg's latest big-screen collaboration, where a Franco house party ends in an apocalypse.
But Franco isn't the only A-lister who knows how to handle the end of days in stride. From fast cars to fast women, these are The 25 Best Ways Characters in Movies Have Spent Their Last Days.
25. Preventing the end of the world from happening in the first place.
The Movie: I Am Legend (2007)
This one sort of seems like a no-brainer: If, in the wake of a viral outbreak that killed off 90 percent of the world's population, and you had the scientific know-how to figure out how that happened and stop it from ending in worldwide annihilation, wouldn't that be a wise way to spend your time? Dr. Robert Neville (Will Smith) seems to think so.
24. Hunting vampires.
The Movie: The Last Man on Earth (1964)
Considering that the source material for this 1964 Vincent Price flick is Richard Matheson's 1964 novel, I Am Legend, much within the previous slide text on the Will Smith update certainly applies. But in this slightly schlockier version, Dr. Robert Morgan (Price) seems to derive more pleasure from his days spent hunting and torching the vampires that now roam the city. You gotta get your kicks somehow.
23. Belting out U2 mashups with Ewan McGregor.
The Movie: Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Okay, so this final act isn't for everyone. But in Baz Lurhmann's world, there's no more appropriate way for cabaret star/courtesan Satine (Nicole Kidman) to spend her final days than dangling from the air in tiny little outfits and falling in love with a wayward writer (Ewan McGregor) in Paris' Montmartre district during its seedy bohemian days. And just because it's 1899 doesn't mean that The Beatles and David Bowie's music don't yet exist. Party like its 1999?
22. Reconnecting with family.
The Movie: The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
There's nothing like a potentially terminal bout with stomach cancer to bring a family together. At least that's what Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) is thinking when he fakes an illness in order to reconnect with his estranged family, including wife Etheline (Anjelica Huston), sons Chas (Ben Stiller) and Richie (Luke Wilson) and adopted daughter Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow). But reconnecting with as dysfunctional a family as the Tenenbaums is no easy prospect, and when the truth about Royal's "illness" is discovered, the family once again goes their separate ways. And then, when Royal eventually dies, only his son Chas is by his side.
21. Dodging death.
The Movie: Short Time (1990)
After learning that he has just two weeks to live, Detective Burt Simpson (Dabney Coleman) ditches his normally cautious ways in order to go out in a blaze of glory and die in the line of duty so that his wife (Teri Garr) will receive a more generous life insurance payout. But his intentional run-ins with would-be bombers and other nefarious types always end up with Simpson becoming a hero. Nothing is easy, nothing is fair.
20. Sleeping around.
The Movie: My Life Without Me (2003)
Isabel Coixet's indie drama—in which Ann (Sarah Polley), a young mother and wife is diagnosed with cancer and given just two months to live—sounds more salacious than it really is. Not wanting to put a damper on the time she has left, Ann keeps her terminal status secret from her husband, her kids, and Lee (Mark Ruffalo), the man she seduces in order to experience sex with someone other than her husband (Scott Speedman). But Ann is an equal opportunity philanderer; she wants her husband to be happy in the wake of her death as well, so she sets him up with another woman and hopes that sparks fly between them. If that's not ride-or-die, we don't know what Ja Rule's been shouting about all these years.
19. Completing your bucket list.
The Movie: The Bucket List (2007)
When a simple mechanic (Morgan Freeman) and a wealthy magnate (Jack Nicholson) are forced to room together following similar—and terminal—lung cancer diagnoses, they form a kinship that results in an around-the-world race to tick off every box on their respective bucket lists. The journey includes visits to the North Pole, the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China, and Mt. Everest. Not a bad way to go—especially when the rich guy is footing the bill.
Note: Watching this movie would not be a good use of your time on your last day. But that's a fact distinct from the joys of completing your own personal bucket list.
18. Taking a stand.
The Movie: Philadelphia (1993)
Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks) is a top lawyer at one of Philadelphia's most prestigious law firms. He also happens to be gay and suffering from AIDS, neither fact being information that Beckett has volunteered to his employers. But when a partner notices a lesion on Andy's neck, he is promptly pushed out of the firm. Despite his increasing frailty, Beckett spends what little time he has left in a courtroom fighting against his former employer for their clearly discriminatory practices, eventually being rewarded a $5 million settlement.
17. Shopping!
The Movie: Night of the Comet (1984)
If you were a Valley Girl in the 1980s and knew the end of the world was imminent, there was only one way to spend it: shopping. (Cue the montage sequence.) Sisters/survivors Regina (Catherine Mary Stuart) and Samantha (Kelli Maroney) put down their semi-automatic weapons just long enough to prance around a deserted department store to prove that, yes, girls do just want to have fun. Unfortunately, the frivolity ends when the store is overtaken by zombies. Bummer.
16. Two words: peep show.
The Movie: The Basketball Diaries (1995)
When badass-turned-musician/novelist Jim Carroll (Leonardo DiCaprio) realizes his best friend Bobby (Michael Imperioli)—who is dying from leukemia—hasn't got much time left, he does what any true best friend would do: breaks him out of the hospital and wheels him straight to Times Square for a peep show.
15. Embracing Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call."
The Movie: Mars Attacks! (1996)
Never trust a martian who promises he/she/it comes in peace. They'll get you every time. And they manage to keep doing it in Mars Attacks!, Tim Burton's B-movie homage, in which visiting martians take out the bulk of Washington D.C.'s biggest players. If only the President (Jack Nicholson) had learned that the way to defeat these ETs is by playing Slim Whitman's yodel-y version of "Indian Love Call" at full blast. Fortunately, a Kansas teen (Lukas Haas) uncovers the aliens' weak spots and sets out with his grandma to reclaim the country.
14. Ordering take-out.
The Movie: 4:44 Last Day on Earth (2011)
Leave it to director Abel Ferrara to turn the last night on earth into a typical evening in the life of a New Yorker. With the end of the world scheduled for 4:44 a.m. the next day, an actor (Willem Dafoe) and his artist girlfriend (Shanyn Leigh) decide to spend the night as if it were any other night: they watch TV, have sex, she paints a little, and they order up some Vietnamese takeout. Kinda boring, but we can get on board with it.
13. Lying to everyone.
The Movie: The Invention of Lying (2009)
Okay, so the world isn't really about to end here. But when you're the guy who discovers the power of lying in a fib-free world, you'd best harness it in the most enjoyable way possible. Like letting the world believe you communicate with god and telling some hot blonde you meet on the street that the world will end if the two of you don't hit the sheets pronto!
12. Being Nicolas Cage.
The Movie: Knowing (2009)
Something you should know: This writer has not seen Knowing and has no intention of ever watching it (even though director Alex Proyas has a pretty impressive track record with The Crow and Dark City).
But I do know that the film is about a massive solar flare with the ability to obliterate the planet, and that Nic plays an astrophysicist doing his damnedest to prevent that from happening. And let's face it: Even the most dangerous of heliophysical phenomena is no match for Cage's painfully over-the-top on-screen emoting.
Note: "Being Nicolas Cage" is also true of Leaving Las Vegas, but in that particular film, enjoying your last days means destroying your body with alcohol and wallowing in crippling depression. So, take your pick.
11. Fighting over a woman.
The Movie: Last Woman on Earth (1960)
Leave it to legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman to turn an apocalyptic tale into a deadly love triangle. (Tagline: They fought for the ultimate prize!) While scuba diving off the coast of Puerto Rico, shady New York businessman Harold (Antony Carbone), his wife Evelyn (Betsy Jones-Moreland), and his lawyer Martin (screenwriter Robert Towne, who is billed as "Edward Wain") resurface to discover that the world around them has disappeared. With Evelyn as the titular "Last Woman on Earth," a rivalry soon develops for her affections, eventually turning violent. We won't give away the specifics, but the world's three lone survivors end up as a duo.
10. Galaxy hopping.
The Movie: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
As if Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) isn't already having a shitty day, he's informed at lunch that his friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def) is actually an alien journalist currently writing a guidebook to the universe and that the world as we know it is about to be demolished. With the help of Ford, Arthur escapes earth's destruction, hitching a ride aboard an alien spaceship that sets the two on a galactic adventure. To explain anymore would only be confusing. Suffice it to say, a road trip through the galaxy is an exciting way to while away one's time.
9. Tracking down Satan.
The Movie: End of Days (1999)
Remember the whole Y2K panic? Arnold Schwarzenegger certainly does. Because it was up to The Governator—as retired cop Jericho Cane—to put the kibosh on Satan's (Gabriel Byrne) attempt to find himself a bride in the Big Apple in the moments before the clock struck midnight and the year 2000 began. Fortunately, the only real carnage caused by this last turn of the century was the time it took for us to re-set the clocks on our computers. Damn decimal points.
8. Starring in your own reality show.
The Movie: Southland Tales (2006)
Richard Kelly's follow-up to Donnie Darko didn't get nearly the same acclaim. In fact, it was downright panned. But for those willing to follow along with the plot—in which Los Angeles is on the brink of financial and environmental destruction—can find some interesting themes in the intertwining plots. Case in point: Porn star Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar), who decides to reinvent herself before it's too late by starring in her own reality show in which she talks about current events, politics and, of course, sex. Maybe people didn't like it because it didn't feel like enough of an escape from reality?
7. Hanging out with Danny McBride.
The Movie: This Is the End (2013)
Yes, Seth Rogen, Craig Robinson, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, and even James Franco (in his own, Franconian way) are funny dudes. But if you've only got a few hours left, and want to get a few last-minute chuckles in, Danny McBride is your man.
6. Spending every last penny you've got.
The Movie: Last Holiday (1950)
After learning that he's got just a few weeks left to live, lonely bachelor George Bird (Alec Guinness) takes his doctor's advice to make the most of what he's got. So he withdraws every penny in his bank account and high-tails it to the nearest luxury resort, where he spends his final days hobnobbing with the rich and famous, being courted for a variety of business ventures, and falling in love—for the first time—with the one person who knows the truth, housekeeper Mrs. Poole (Kay Walsh).
5. Sex marathon.
The Movie: Last Night (1998)
There's only six hours left until the end of the world and a group of Toronto residents have very different ideas on how best to spend it. Power company owner Duncan (David Cronenberg) spends it calling his entire database of customers, assuring them that they will have power until the end. Widower Patrick (director Don McKellar) hangs out on his rooftop, drinking wine and listening to music. While Patrick's best friend, Craig (Callum Keith Rennie), uses his remaining 360 minutes to fulfill as many of his sexual fantasies as time will allow. Only one of these is the real move.
4. Falling in love with Keira Knightley.
The Movie: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)
When the announcement comes that an enormous asteroid is set to collide with earth in three weeks, killing all of humanity in the process, everyone reacts in different ways: suicide, drugs, and anonymous sex are a few of the more popular options. But New York City insurance salesman Dodge (Steve Carell) wants to use the time to re-connect with his first love, Olivia. And promises his unstable neighbor Penny (Keira Knightley) that he'll help her get back to England to visit her family one last time if she'll first help him. As the two make their way to Dodge's Delaware hometown and back again, they realize—of course—that they only need each other in these final days.
3. Partaking in an end-of-the-world bar crawl.
The Movie: The World's End (2013)
There's still about two months to go until the latest apocalyptic comedy from Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg hits theaters. But it's well worth the wait. Twenty years after attempting a major pub crawl—drinking 12 pints in 12 pubs, with The World's End as their last stop—things take a literal turn for five reunited friends. As the bar crawl continues, the world seems to be tumbling closer to annihilation, when an alien invasion disrupts their drinking. Eventually, it's up to the five of them to save the world (without spilling a drop).
2. Eating well, dancing the tango, and driving a Ferrari.
The Movie: Scent of a Woman (1992)
Retired Army Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade (Al Pacino) knows that his best days are behind him. He's lost his sight and gained a terrible drinking problem. And feels the best solution is suicide—but only after he has spent a few days truly living it up and experiencing life's simple pleasures, including a suite at the Waldorf-Astoria, good food, tango dancing with a beautiful stranger, an evening in the company of a prostitute and test-driving a Ferrari at top speed through the streets of Manhattan (yes, we did say he was blind).
1. Seducing Halle Berry.
The Movie: Bulworth (1998)
Embroiled Senator Jay Billington Bulworth's professional future is looking bleak. So like any talented politician, he negotiates a deal for a favorable vote toward the insurance industry in exchange for a $10 million life insurance policy, with his daughter as its beneficiary. Problem is, he needs to die first—and suicide will negate the settlement. So the good Senator puts a hit out on his own life. And knowing that he's living on borrowed time, decides to reinvent himself and make his last days on earth truly worth living. So off he goes to drink, smoke weed, tell the truth for once in his life and fall in love with a young campaigner (Halle Berry), who (spoiler alert!) turns out to be the woman tasked with assassinating him. In a quantative study, this was determined to be the least lousy way to go.