10 of the Most Delightfully Disturbing Things We Did in "South Park: The Stick of Truth"

Image via Complex Original

Role-playing character class selection is a familiar mechanic in video games.

Warrior, priest, mage, thief, and Jew.

Sorry, what was the last one?

The Stick of Truth-specific Jew is a cleric class and comes equipped with a yarmulke and Tefillin. Choosing the Jew class will provide you with Jew-specific skills such as Jew-Jitsu and the Sling of David.  

A word of warning, if you choose the Jew class, Cartman will openly hate you. 

And this is how the game opens.

Farting is a huge component of your arsenal in The Stick of Truth.

Cartman teaches you your first few, but as the game progresses you'll need to develop a stronger retinue of flatulence based weaponry.

Enter Terrance and Philip. You must travel to the backwards realm of 'Canada' and prove your worthiness to Terrance and Phillip so that they may teach you the mightiest of all farts, The Nagasaki.

They even go as far as offering the following caveat for ass-based combat,

”Don’t ever, ever fart on a man’s balls.”

Kenny, sorry, Princess Kenny is able to summon a legion of rats as a special attack.

Turns out that those same rats aren't particular about who or what they devour. Watching Kenny, in a wig and dress, be devoured by rats while having to listen to his muffled screams is something we weren't prepared for, but here we are all the same.

Welcome to Unplanned Parenthood.

As part of quest given to you by The Girls, you need to dress up as a girl and enter the abortion clinic to find out if Jesse Rodriguez has had an abortion or not.

That's how it works, right?

Oh, it get's worse from here. The doctor greets you with this gem,

"A little young to be having an abortion, aren't we? It's OK, we have a booster seat."

A mini-game follows that forces you to anestehtize and perform on an abortion. On Stan's dad's butt.

Yeah, drink  it in.

Some of the most basic of human functions are turned into a mini-game in The Stick of Truth.

Pooping, by way of repeatedly tapping the A button for Xbox 360 users, is used to harvest poop nuggets. These nuggets are then used as thrown missiles during some of the later battles. 

'Harvest poop nuggets' is not a sentence we'd thought we'd ever see, but there you go.

You remember Mr. Slave don't you?

Well, Mr. Slave, and his rectum, are prominently featured towards the end of the game as a nuclear weapon has been placed deep inside his colon.

Turns out that you're the only person capable of heading deep into his rectum to defuse the bomb. So, you shrink yourself and its a one-way ticket to brown town for you. In a game that's constantly one-upping itself on the gross scale, this is by-far one of the gnarliest parts of the game.

Watch your step as Mr. Slave's rectum is filled the following: a used condom, a half-eaten corn on the cob, a Mr. Hat puppet, anal beads, and the Frog King. There's, impressively, more up there, but we didn't want to spoil everything.

"Khloe Kardashian was in here this morning. She had...the biggest abortion I've ever seen."

That, friends, is a direct quote from the game.

After the bit of poetry is uttered, a massive Nazi zombie fetus kicks open the wall like the Kool-Aid Man, and rips two soldiers in half. This is the boss battle that charges you with defeating the Kardashian monstrosity. The over-sized Nazi fetus is a difficult boss as its umbilical cord will attack you from behind.

What happens to the aborted fetuses left outside the abortion clinic?

They naturally turn into Nazi zombies. What were you expecting? Gross? Yes. Disturbing? You remember we were in an S&M bondage slave's rectum earlier right? Sometimes the rats that live under the abortion clinic get in on the action. 

Did we mention that they're Nazi zombie rats and occasionally eat the leftover fetuses?

Yeah, the game is fucking gnarly.

Leaving Colorado, you need to get your hands on a passport in order to enter the backwards realm of Canada.

The photographer you find to take your picture is a true 'artist' and has some ideas about how to make your passport photo look even better.  

He asks you to remove your shirt, your trousers, and finally, your underwear. It's at this point that the real cameraman emerges, and the pedophile and the cameraman duke it out while you sheepishly put your pants back on.

While battling the Underpants Gnomes, you're accidentally shrunken down to their size. Which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't also afford you a perfect view of your parents boning down.

The scars will probably last some time.

You end up on the bed, not only battling the Gnomes, but avoiding a massive pair of swinging testicles.

Yes, that's correct.

As an environmental hazard your parents genitals will also be trying to kill you. You must defeat the Gnomes as well as avoid the breasts and balls looking to crush you.