Image via Complex Original
The blog-style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, however, is its approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines of March.
Lindsay Lohan Must Be On That EXTRA STRENGTH MOLLY . . . Cause She's Out In Brazil ACTING UP!!!
Date: March 29
In related news, the sky is blue.
NOT AGAIN!!! Rapper Cam'ron Posts ANOTHER Pic Of His Fiance's AZZ . . . They Really Don't GIVE A F**K Do They
Date: March 30
Do you, Killa. Do you.
Chris Brown Puts Rival Rapper DRAKE ON BLAST . . . Claims That Drake Is GAY . . . And Hiding In The Closet!!!
Date: March 31
Save the beef for dinner, homie.
LMAOOOOOOO!!! Fantasia's BROKE AZZ Got CAUGHT . . . Posting Pics Of Her FAKE LOUBOUTIN SHOES On Instagram!!!
Date: March 31
To paraphrase Drake: Started from the bottom, Fantasia still there.
Kim Kardashian Is DOING THE MOST . . . She Stepped Out WITHOUT A BRA . . . And Had Her PREGGO MILKY TIDDAYS Bouncing In The Wind!!!
Date: March 25
Shine bright like a diamond.
REPORT: A Woman Is Suing Her Barbershop . . . Claiming That They SHAVED HER HEAD BALD . . . And She Don't Look Look A DANG THING Like Amber Rose!!
Date: March 23
You had to know this wasn't going to end well.
MTO WORLD EXCLUSIVE: R&B Singer Brandy Spent $300K . . . And Underwent YEARS OF TREATMENT . . . But She FINALLY Got Her Hair BACK!! (Even Her EDGES Look Great)
Date: March 25
Where there's a will, there's a way.
WHAT THE F*CK???? India Arie Offers An EXPLANATION For Her New 'LIGHT SKIN' . . . Claims That's Her REAL COMPLEXION . . . And That All The Pics Where She Was DARK SKINNED . . . Was Just BAD LIGHTING!!
Date: March 30
We don't believe you India.
WOOOOOOW!!! New Close Up Pics Show That Whoopi From THE VIEW . . Has FAKE DREDS!!!
Date: March 31
Fake it til you make it. Oh, wait.
EMBARRASSING!!!! Some Girl Went To The Club During Her TIME OF THE MONTH . . . And She Accidentally TWERKED OUT HER TAMPON!!!
Date: March 24
Twerking gone bad.
HOT CHICA!!! Alicia Keys Releases Pics Of Her Wearing YEAST INFECTION JEANS . .. You Know That Ones SO TIGHT That They'll Send You To The GYN!!!
Date: March 24
She got it from her momma.
Atlanta . . . Y'all Got Some EXPLAINING TO DO . . . Is This Some Kinda NEW HAIRSTYLE That Men Are Rockin Down There????
Date: March 22
NO. NO. NO.
ANOTHER CANNIBAL Is On The Loose . . . This Time A Woman Is Charged With BITING OFF A MAN'S D**K . . . And SNACKING ON IT!!! (Pics Of The Lady Who DID IT)
Date: March 22
Disgusting.
MTO WORLD EXCLUSIVE PIC: An Alleged Nekkid Pic Of Your FAVORITE POP STAR BUSSING IT . . . Just Hit The WEB!!! (An OLD BF Leaked It THEY SAY)
Date: March 20
Is "Nekkid" in the dictionary yet? Someone get Merriam-Webster on the phone ASAP.
OOOOH SH*T!!! Rihanna BLACKED OUT On A Fan . . . Calls Her A 'STUPID DIRTY B**CH' . . . And Tells The Fan Who PAID To Go To Rih's Concert . . . To 'GET A JOB'!!!
Date: March 23
Not cool Rih Rih.
An MTOer Was MINDING THEIR BUSINESS . . . Flipping Through That SUGARDADDY Site . . . Where Young Women Go To Find OLD DUDES To Pay Their BILLS . . . And Look Who THEY SAW!!!
Date: March 20
It's hard out here for a gold digger. Word to Karrueche.
WHAT THE FREAK???? For The First Time EVER . . . In HISTORY . . . Actress Meagan Good Is Looking KINDA SORTA . . . BASIC!!
Date: March 21
Hey, no complaints over here.
We've Got CLOSE UP PICS . . . Of R&B Singer Christina Milian LIPOSUCTIONED UP STOMACH . . . And Even Though It's A LIL BUMPY . . . It Still Looks GOOD!!!
Date: March 20
This might be the nicest thing MTO has ever said about a psuedo-celeb.
They Just Hacked KRIS JENNER'S Credit Report . . . The Chick Owes More Than $1M . . . In Credit Card Bills And Car Payments!!! (No Wonder She's PIMPIN Her Family)
Date: March 13
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Remember DAWN RICHARDS Of Danity Kane And Dirty Money . . . Well She Used The ADVANCE Diddy Gave Her . . . To Buy A NEW NOSE!!
Date: March 20
Haters gonna hate.
MTO EXCLUSIVE: R&B Singer Bridget Kelly ACCIDENTALLY Tweets Out Pics . . . Of Her CHOPPIN' A BRICK LIKE KARATE!!! (We Hope The FEDS Ain't Watching)
Date: March 17
Say no the the "yayo," Bridget.
Kim Kardashian's LITTLE SISTER Kendall Is ALREADY Following In Her FOOTSTEPS . . . She's On Twitter Talking About How She Wants D**K!!!
Date: March 16
Maybe she'll get a reality show out of it, too.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO!! We Love Nicki Minaj . . . But This Ish Here . . . Is Just TOO TRUE!! (We Know . . . We're GOING TO HELL For Saying This)
Date: March 18
I mean, she could have worse style inspirations.
YIKES!!! Destiny's Child Member Michelle Williams EXPOSES HER BELLY . . . And She Lets Everyone Know That She's Got A WOLFMAN C**CH!!!
Date: March 15
Poor Michelle, she stays losing.
AWWWW SH*T!!! Guess Which RAPPER . . . Is Sending THIRSTY TWITTER MESSAGES . . . To Chris Brown's EX-Girlfriend!!!
Date: March 16
There's no time like the present, right Waka?
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Kim Kardashian's Sister Khloe . . . Just Bought Herself A BRAND NEW . . . LATEST MODEL . . . State Of The ART . . . AZZ!!!
Date: March 15
Lamar Odom is a very, very, very happy man.
AWWWWW SH*T . . . It's Going DOWN!!!! Mariah Carey Throws SHADE At Beyonce . .. At Last Night's AMERICAN IDOL!!!
Date: March 14
Says Mariah to one contestant: "I did like the wind and the dress flowing, I know somebody else who does that, but I can't think of her name." Mimi ain't playin' no games.
NOOOOOOO . . . Not Out NICKI!!! A Mysterious HERPES LIKE SORE Is Spotted On Nicki Minaj's MOUTH!!!
Date: March 13
The definition of Yellow journalism.
Brittany Spears Is TRASH . . . She Went To Her Son's SOCCER GAME .. . Wearing A SHORT SKIRT . . . And NO PANNIES ON!!
Date: March 12
Yolo?
WHOOPS!! R&B Singer BRANDY Has A Wardrobe Malfunction . . . She Wore A TEENY SKIRT . . . And Accidentally Exposed Her BOOTY MEAT!!!
Date: March 4
Booty meat? That's a new one.
Hackers EXPOSE R&B Legend R KELLY'S Finances . . . And Dude Got Some F*CCCCKED Up Credit!! (We Thought OUR Credit Was BAD)
Date: March 14
Dude took out one too many loans for his Trapped in the Closet series.
DRAMMMMM-MMAA!!!! Beyonce's Sister SOLANGE . . . Is Now GOING AT KANYE WEST!!! (Is He Gonna Make A SONG About Her TOO)
Date: March 11
This whole R&B-rapper beef thing is getting old.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Rapper Lil Boosie Just Got His G.E,.D. . . . While Being LOCKED UP!!!
Date: March 9
Props to Boosie who turned a negative into a positive.
OOOH SH*T . . . It's Going Down!!! Rapper DMX Shows Up To Oprah's Studo HIGH ON CRACK . . . Calls Iyanla A B**CH To Her Face . . . Ayanla GETS IT POPPIN!!
Date: March 6
Ayanla ain't nothing to F with.
Ladies And Gentlemen . . . We Have PICS . . . Of The OFFICIAL WINNER For The Most RATCHETEST HAIRSTYLE OF 2013 Is . . . Drumroll Please . . .
Date: March 6
A picture really is worth a thousand words.
Can Someone PLEASE EXPLAIN TO US . . . What The F**K R&B Singer Ashanti Is Wearing!! (Warning - If You Have EPILEPSY . . . Please DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY At Ashanti's Outfit)
Date: March 5
A style icon she is not.
OH NOOOOOOOO!! All Those Years Of HEAVY WEAVES . . . Have Really MESSED UP Rihanna's Hairline!! (Close Up PICS Of Her Edges)
Date: March 4
All the extra Os makes us think MTO really cares about Rih Rih. Riiiiigghht.
Meet The Woman With The BIGGEST P*ZZY IN The Country . . . You Won't BELIEVE What She Managed To STICK Inside Her
Date: March 8
A loaded gun stashed inside her, uh, womanly parts? Truth really is stranger than fiction.
Michael Jordan's NEW BABYS MOMS Has An INTERESTING JOB . . . She Teaches Married Men . . . How To EAT P*ZZY!! (Pics Of Her Giving HANDS ON Tutelage)
Date: March 3
Are these one-on-one sessions or group classes?
Kanye West And Kim Kardashian Releasse MORE PICS From Their Latest Photo Shoot . . And The Two Are Having ROUGH S*X!!! (Yeezy's Squeezing HER BOOB . . . Almost TO BURST)
Date: March 3
Gotta keep the love alive some way.
