A Recent History of People Flipping Out on Airplanes
When the friendly skies get weird.
Image via Complex Original
If you're a frequent flier, you know that baggage fees and pat downs are only part of the air travel nightmare. Planes are basically Greyhound buses with wings, and they're full of people that are either loaded on duty-free alcohol, crying in fear, or both. From vodka drunk loudmouths to anxiety-ridden weirdoes, commercial flights have more unhinged psychopaths than the mosh pit at a Slayer concert. So naturally, things can come undone quickly at 16,000 feet in the air.
To illustrate our point, we've amassed a collection of recent meltdowns and freak outs to prove once and for all that two Xanax and a Snuggie should be required flight materials. If everyone just slept through the six-hour jaunt from Los Angeles to New York, the world would be a better place. Without further ado, A Recent History of People Flipping Out on Airplanes.
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Flight Attendant Quits Job, Becomes Folk Hero
Date: August 2010
Airline: JetBlue
It's not easy to be a flight attendant. Between crying babies, drunken lunatics, and rude passengers, the airline lifestyle is enough to make anyone crack. But JetBlue's Steven Slater lost his shit in an especially epic way.
After an ugly exchange with a woman who refused to leave her bags in the overhead compartment, Slater delivers an expletive-laden rant on the loudspeaker, and grabs a few beers from the galley. With the plane grounded on the runway, Slater exits via the inflatable emergency chute as an appropriately dramatic ending to the greatest adult tantrum in JFK Airport history.
The 28 year veteran of the airline industry is arrested and eventually saddled with a year's probation, but not before his heroic meltdown goes viral. Sure, Slater loses his positive reference at JetBlue, but he becomes the dimpled chin face of America's browbeaten workforce.
Florida Man Masturbates in Plane Sight
Date: 5/19/2011
Airline: United Airlines
In May 2013, Monica Amestoy files a lawsuit claiming that United Airlines did nothing to prevent a man from masturbating in front of her during a six-hour flight from New York to Los Angeles. According to Amestoy, she approached flight staff on multiple occasions to complain about the harassment, but received little more than a "there's nothing we can do" in response. According to a report from The Smoking Gun, the alleged perpetrator was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots, which should have been the first sign of trouble.
Pilots Have Rough Days at the Office Too
Date: 3/26/2012
Airline: JetBlue Airways
You've probably had your fair share of meltdowns at the office, but—lucky for you—your freak-outs aren't compounded with the debilitating effects of high altitude cabin pressure. In 2012, a JetBlue pilot snaps during a flight to Las Vegas, forcing the plane to be diverted. According to passengers, the pilot made references to al-Qaida, ran around the plane screaming about a bomb, and had to be restrained mid-flight. The pilot is charged with "interfering with crew," but is ultimately found not guilty by reason of insanity.
Ex-Girlfriend Plays the Bomb Threat Card
Date: 9/6/2012
Airline: U.S. Airways
After Christopher Shell posts a selfie along with information about his Dallas-bound flight to Facebook, a jealous ex-girlfriend calls in a bomb threat and fingers Shell as the liquid explosives-strapped culprit. The plane is immediately grounded and a bewildered Shell is escorted off of the plane by a heavily armed SWAT team. Shell is eventually cleared of any wrongdoing, but the event's notoriety leads to an ancillary arrest of Shell on outstanding warrants in Texas. SMH. To the vengeful, love scorned exes out there, stick to keying cars and hoarding cats.
Vigilante Justice From 16,000 Feet in the Air
Date: 1/3/2013
Airline: Icelandair
While on an airplane, you can't just call the cops whenever there's a problem. So if a dude is, say, roaringly drunk and spitting on people, you have to get resourceful. During an Icelandair flight to New York City, a passenger allegedly began screaming obscenities, hitting people, and spitting. Thankfully though, the plane had a full stock of duct tape. We're eternally grateful to the guerilla journalist who took this picture.
One Executive's Quest to Become the World's Biggest Jerk
Date: 2/16/2013
Airline: Delta Airlines
This is Joe Rickey Hundley. During a flight to Atlanta, this former executive allegedly used a racial slur against a crying infant and slapped it in the face. During the plane's descent, a 19-month-old child sitting next to Hundley began to cry. Hundley allegedly told the baby's mother, "shut that (N-word) baby up," before slapping it below the right eye. If there's a silver lining to this story, Hundley pleaded guilty to the charges last month and now faces $100,000 fine and up to a year in jail.
"Turn Off All Electronic Devices" is Not a Joke
Date: 6/23/2013
Airline: U.S. Airways
Flying is just the worst. After enduring a TSA pat down and shelling out $75 in baggage fees, there's still the potential for an unruly passenger to delay your flight by completely losing his or her shit. According the Broward County Sheriff's Office, Lindsay Bien-aime ignored repeated requests to stop talking on her cell phone before the flight and had to be removed with force. To make matter worse, this whole deafening ordeal took place at 6:30 a.m. No amount of coffee can prepare you for this kind of fuckery.
Couple Outshines the In-Flight Move with Sex Show
Date: August 2013
Airline: Allegiant Air
The "Mile High Club," like getting it in a hotel hot tub, is one of those things that sounds playfully exhibitionist, but it's pretty ratchet in practice. After an especially uninhibited flight from Oregon to Los Angeles, a couple is charged in federal court for "lewd, indecent and obscene acts on an airplane." According to a witness, a female passenger performed oral sex on a male passenger to completion. Afterwards, the male reciprocated with his fingers and, after a short break, the woman performed oral sex for a second time. The complaint goes on to allege that, at one point, the male allegedly exposed the woman's breast and kissed them in front of passengers. Holy moly, we need a cigarette.
"God, You're My Savior"
Date: October 2013
Airline: Unknown
Earlier this month, a woman had a horrifying meltdown on a flight to Tampa Bay, Florida. She appears to be staring at a magazine while screaming, "God, you're my savior," in a repetitive shrill. You can see the people around her are deadass tired of the act and, according to the video's narrator, the act stretch on for more than 20 minutes before the clip's start. There's a reason first class tickets have an exhorbent markup, and it has little to do with the extra legroom.
Couple Wins a Free Getaway, Become Unwitting Drug Mules
Date: 10/25/2013
Airline: N/A
An elderly Australian couple thought they won an all expenses paid trip to Canada, but their vacation had one incredibly precarious stipulation. Unbeknownst to the sweepstakes winners, their prize package included two blue suitcases that contained seven kilos of methamphetamine. The "free vacation" was actually an elaborate con set up by drug traffickers who attempted to move product with unwitting participants. When the couple became suspicious of the luggage's inordinate weight, they reported the bags to customs agents who discovered millions of dollars worth of crank concealed in the suitcase's lining. This is why you should always read the fine print when you win something, always.