Love Thing: A History of People Who Married Inanimate Objects

Love is blind, but what if it were breathless? No Romeo, we're not talking the kind of ardor that leaves you floating with cherubs and calling your moms. This is the type of lover to lay stiff in your arms, voice imagined, sex withheld. What in bat shit hell are we talking about? The imaginably satisfying, telepathic, inanimate smash, of course!

Last week, news spread that a 28-year-old Korean dude by the name of Lee Jin-gyu had married a body pillow (sporting the face of popular anime vixen, Fate Testarossa) in a public, church-officiated ceremony. Personally, we'd rather just stalk a chick from Girls' Generation, but everyone's entitled to their wacko fetishes, especially if they're within the slim community of objectosexuals. While you contemplate what Lee's pillow fights are like, peep six more human-inanimate object romances that made their way down the aisle. They just might make you want to strip your sister's Barbie...

Written By Tracy Garraud