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Vice President Joe “Crazy Uncle” Biden and Republican veep candidate Paul “Damien Omen V Eyes” Ryan will square off for the one and only vice presidents' debate in Danville, KY Thursday night. If this were your usual meeting of political minds between men who would be the dude next to the King, anyone watching would be guaranteed a pretty good nap before bedtime.
But the joy in Danville may come from the presence of Joe Biden alone. Call him “gaffe-prone,” call him plain-spoken, whatever, future historians will probably say one of Joe Biden's defining characteristics was his complete lack of give-a-fuck when it came to carefully measured political doublespeak.
In his three decades as a politician Joe Biden has amassed a long list of moments when he spoke out of pocket. Here are 10 hilarious examples of when the sitting vice president rattled the political establishment by being a little too real for Washington's tastes.
Written by Steve Huff (@SteveHuff)
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One of Joe Biden's gifts has always been his working man's demeanor. His relatability motor may have briefly burned out in 2006, when C-SPAN cameras caught then-Senator Biden relating to an Indian-American supporter by noting that "In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India.” And, he continued, “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking."
Not even joking.
The Vice-President and Humility
The world of politics sometimes shakes, rattles, and rolls when hot mics catch politicians sounding like, well, real people. That's when Joe Biden shines. Every now and then we can rely on the Vice President to set off a little Biden-quake with well-chosen swears, like the time he ran into a former fellow senator in a train station. His former colleague addressed him as “Mr. Vice President” and Biden cheerfully replied, “Give me a fucking break.”
The Giuliani Diss
Sounding like an old white dude (which, admittedly, he is) while talking to Indian guys and dropping f-bombs on senators are just two of the brighter colors in Joe Biden's rhetorical rainbow. Yet, the Veep's had his share of great moments when yes, he actually did mean to say that, such as the 2008 Democratic presidential primary debate, when Biden cracked on then-Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani with a joke that's dogged Giuliani ever since.
When laying into the former New York City mayor, Biden noted that Rudy only ever mentioned three things in a sentence: “A noun and a verb and 9/11. I mean, there's nothing else.”
Joe Biden, Sometimes-Man of Few Words
What can Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan expect Thursday night? Biden can be quick on his feet, unpredictable. One of his best debate moments was so out-of-the-box it became a classic because it was the opposite of the kind of thing Biden is known for—not being able to shut up long past when he should have.
During a Democratic debate in the 2008 primaries moderated by Brian Williams, the NBC newsman asked Biden if he could put a lid on the gaffes and show discipline “on the world stage.” Biden said, “Yes.” And left it there. Admittedly, there are gaffes and there is kicking ass.
The Most Greek Irishman in America
It's easy to like any politician who doesn't give a damn about political correctness but Biden can show a genius for funny and drawn-out awkward moments, like a campaign stop in August this year when the vice president approached a table of Greek men in an Ohio restaurant and said, “I'm Joe Bidenopoulos.” He also told the men to ask someone named George “who's the most Greek Irishman he's ever known.” We don't think anyone has asked that Indian guy from 2006 what he thought of this.
Biden's Best Audiences
Occasionally the vice president's so-called “gaffes” are really just straight-up trolling, like a Friday morning breakfast in DC last April with about 200 Turkish-American Obama donors. Biden decided he needed to give the sleepy crowd a jolt, saying, “I guess what I'm trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast—and you all look dull as hell, I might add [...] The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!"
Obama and Oh, Biden
Then again, sometimes Joe Biden's just truly screwing the pooch, like the time his excited introduction at a campaign rally briefly turned Barack Obama into a superhero. Biden noted: “One man stands ready to deliver change we desperately need. A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next president of the United States, Barack America!” Obama may have blushed.
Joe Biden's Best Stand-Up
Campaigning can exhaust the healthiest candidates. Joe's no exception. It's pretty hard to cherry-pick “Joe Biden's just crazy-tired moments,” so we'll settle for the most awkward ever, which may have been the Missouri campaign event in 2008, when Biden introduced a politician named Chuck Graham by saying, "Senator Chuck Graham is here! Stand up, Chuck! Let 'em see ya!"—only to realize a second later that Senator Graham is a paraplegic.
Walk Softly, Carry Your Boss' Big Stick
Biden was giving a serious foreign policy speech at New York University in April this year and he tried to invoke the strong foreign policy of President Teddy Roosevelt in describing the Obama/Biden administration's approach to defense, explaining:
"I promise you, the president has a big stick."
The audience laughed. Biden doubled down: "I promise you." We don't know why they laughed either, Joe.
In Which Joe Biden Famously Confirms the Gravity of a Situation
Consensus seems to be of all great Biden quotes, one stands out for its timing and its honesty. It seems the most like Joe being Joe.
As Biden was shaking hands with President Obama at the signing ceremony for the Affordable Healthcare Act, the vice president leaned in and his old friend the hot mic was up to the job again, capturing the immortal words, "This is a big fucking deal!"
So are you, Joe. So are you.