What Your Teen Show Guilty Pleasure Says About You

Volumes of blog posts have been written about the Golden Age of Drama that we're currently enjoying. Critics who talk about this era of TV are generally talking about white male anti-hero shows like Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and now, True Detective. With increased demand for narrative programming and the ever growing list of platforms for shows, we're not only seeing increased demand for so-called prestige drama, but for all sorts of shows targeting different demographics. One major growth area over the last decade or so has been teen drama.

MTV, The CW, and ABC Family have led the charge of developing that space between cartoons and Rust Cohle, the home of new students, classroom lectures, and other-side-of-the-tracks romances. If you don't have a little sister to help you navigate these waters, the prospect of finding the right teen drama for you can be daunting. How do you find that perfect guilty pleasure show amid a sea of superficial, recycled "who will she take to the high school dance" stories?

We're here to help you make the most of your guilty pleasure viewing. We might even turn you on to a show or two you can enjoy guilt free. Parents just don't get it, but luckily, we do. Here is What Your Teen Show Guilty Pleasure Says About You.

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What it says about you: You can still tolerate the whole vampire thing.
Perfect for: Soap opera fans who like a little horror and horror fans who like a lot of melodrama.
Worst line of the pilot: "All you can do is be ready for the good. So when it comes you invite it in."

There's a reason that episodes of Vampire Diaries tend to sneak onto year-end best of lists. Critics saddled with reviewing Vampire Diaries have been pleasantly surprised at the tight writing and clean structure of the show. Though Vampire Diaries lacks the levity that made Buffy a cult classic, this is solid show across the board that knows how to pull off a plot twist. If you can handle a little blood and a lot of post-adolescent emotion, this might be the show for you.

What it says about you: You had a blog in high school, too.
Perfect for: Anyone who's high school experience was more Freaks and Geeks than Friday Night Lights.
Worst line of the pilot: "We might be a better fit. Girl on Girl ... I mean, Girl to Girl."

Not since Freaks and Geeks has a high school drama (well, dramedy) so carefully rendered the social pains and fleeting pleasures of the teenage years. The first three seasons of Awkward, helmed by rising star show runner Lauren Iungerich, should gain cult status over the next several years.

Within half a decade, The AV Club will be writing the same kind of fawning eulogies for the Iungerich era of Awkward that they churn out about Freaks and Geeks every so often. There will be oral histories. There will be binge watching. It will be glorious.

What it says about you: You never stopped caring what the popular girls thought.
Perfect for: Those who miss the gossip and drama of high school.
Worst line of the pilot: "You're not like Melissa's usual boyfriends."
"What's so unusual?"
"I actually like you. That's what's unusual "

Pretty Little Liars is half heavily-plotted soap opera, half high school PTSD. We all had that friend whose dad was cheating on his mom. We all knew a guy who was banging his girlfriend's sister. We all heard about that teacher who got caught sleeping with a student. Pretty Little Liars delivers all of these plots and more, juggling over a half dozen plots at a time.

For a teen show, it's feisty, sexy, and pulpy. It makes House of Cards look tame and realistic. That isn't to say this show isn't enjoyable. As long as you don't mind the letting the vapid, popular girls from high school back into your life, this is a fun ride.

Of course, if you always wanted to see those girls suffer, you might particularly like this show. If you'd just as soon block that part of your life out entirely, you might want to skipPretty Little Liars.

What it says about you: You tuned in expecting a campy throwback and were pleasantly surprised.
Perfect for: Teens who are taking puberty hard and need a metaphorical catharsis.
Worst line of the plot "Or you could tell her the truth and revel in the fact that you're a freakin' werewolf!"

There are a lot of red flags regarding Teen Wolf. The show is on MTV. The show is based on a campy '80s comedy. The show is yet another attempt to cash in on Twilight-style fare. But, despite all that, Teen Wolf is compelling. The series attempts to delve into lycanthropy as though it were puberty. Teen Wolf asks, "How would these changes affect you on a daily basis?" and "How does dating, family, and friendship change as a result?" Teen Wolf smartly approaches its subject matter; it takes itself seriously, but not too seriously.

Though there are moments of grave solemnity, the series knows how to wink and laugh at itself from time to time. The result is something charming and addicting. If you don't get hooked for a whole season, odds are you'll at least scroll through to Wikipedia page to read about what happens next.

What it says about you: You wanted to hate watch this, and then realized it was better than you thought.
Perfect for: People who feel misunderstood and can't afford a therapist.
Worst line of the pilot: "In school they're saying, hey kids it's cool if you feel like you don't belong. But, you, you really don't belong."

This series has the Lifetime "movie of the week" premise that you expect with a high level of execution that is completely unexpected. Rather than dwelling on the potential soap opera plot twists, this story of two teenagers who discover they were switched at birth attempts to tackle the subject with honesty and heart. Social issues like class differences and how we treat the differently abled are deftly worked into the series without diminishing the show's main theme of identity.

The pilot's title, "This is Not A Pipe" announces that this show is going to handle a well-trod premise with more intelligence and care than you're used to, and Switched At Birth delivers.

What it says about you: Your little sister made you watch it and now you're hooked.
Perfect for: People who wish urban legends involved more gunplay and car stunts.
Worst line of the pilot: "We talking, like misdemeanor kind of trouble or 'squeal-like-a-pig.'"

If Supernatural were on another channel, it just might be frat bro appointment viewing. There's a swaggering sexiness to the series that is surprising for a CW offering. Two brothers going around banging chicks and killing ghosts isn't exactly typical fare for the network that just brought us a decade of Gossip Girl.

One of the most charming aspects of Supernatural is how the writers sell the series to teenage girls. In the pilot, our hero saves himself from certain death because he's just not type of guy who would cheat on his girlfriend (swoon). At the end of the day, it seems Supernatural is only a teen show because it ended up on a teen network.

What it says about you: You'll be an NPR Member someday
Perfect for: People looking for maximum diversity.
Worst line of the pilot: "I figured there was enough to go around."
"Enough of what?"
"Everything."

In tone, The Fosters is a standard family drama. Back in the day, it would have fit in nicely between 7th Heaven and Everwood. In those days, however, this show would never have been made. The Fosters is refreshing in its commitment to diversity, even if sometimes you feel like they're trying to shoehorn in just one more plot that would make a Tea Partier's skin crawl. You've got homosexual characters, African-American characters, Latino characters, characters in foster care, characters with drug problems, and pretty much any other underrepresented group you can think of.

To The Fosters credit, the show isn't just a diversity pageant. There is meaningful thematic exploration going on, not the simple check-the-box diversity lip service of shows like Modern Family. If you're baby-sitting some tweens, you could do a lot worse than throwing on The Fosters.

What it says about you: You're still holding a torch for Gilmore Girls.
Perfect for: People who hold onto favorite cancelled shows as a badge of honor.
Worst line of the pilot: "It's Arab Spring unless you get some better music in there."

Though the show was solid and the Amy Sherman-Palladino dialogue was a snappy and reference laden as ever, it just didn't fall together the way that Gilmore Girls did. From the beginning, Stars Hollow was a great place to explore femininity and class with the breezy quirkiness of a neighborhood antique shop.

Though there is the same kitschy detritus in the world of Bunheads, the show didn't quite click the way Gilmore Girls did. It would have been great to watch Bunheads grow through a second season, but Palladino's idiosyncratic shows seem to need a clear vision if they want to avoid the early axe.

What it says about you: You think clumsy allegory is better than no allegory at all.
Perfect for: People who write erotic alien abduction fan fiction.
Worst line of the pilot: "Even social newbies like Emory still like a little cool with their drool."

Concepts are often wasted on the wrong networks. A great CW show has to succeed on emotional connections and smart storytelling. As a result, high-concept material doesn't usually make a good bedfellow for the network. There is potential buried in Star-Crossed.

Thinly veiled criticisms of the Tea Party, anti-immigration activists, and bigotry crops up, but then settles for existing as mere window dressing. Interesting near-future cultural shifts are introduced but never really followed through. You can't watch Star-Crossed and not think that SyFy or Starz might have been better homes for such a story.

As it stands, the CW's version of Star-Crossed is buried under a layer of saccharine that prevents it from tackling the issues that would make it a compelling show.

What it says about you: You like your sci-fi like you like your oatmeal: bland, flavorless, and mushy.
Perfect for: People who think sci-fi is just too damn interesting.
Worst line of the pilot: "We're called Tomorrow People. We didn't choose the name, I swear."

What if some humans suddenly evolved? Sounds like an interesting science fiction premise, right? That may be the case, but if so, someone should tell The Tomorrow People. This show is as bland as anything the CW has ever offered. The gaping holes in plot and character relationships are filled with your usual steely-eyed teen heartthrobs talking in broad gravelly platitudes to doe-eyed ladies who are like, totally conflicted.

From the get-go, The Tomorrow People keeps things intentionally vague. Sadly, you get the feeling this is because no one involved knows what the show is trying to do.

What it says about you: Part of you still wishes you moved back to your home town instead of (in thick accent) "tryin' to make it in the big city."
Perfect for: People who love medical dramas and country music and always wished you could get a dose of both at once.
Worst line of the pilot: "Clearly the man was one avocado short of a cobb salad."

Fish out of water stories sink if the star can't play the clown. Though Rachel Bilson is game in Hart of Dixie, she doesn't have the comic chops to hit the out-of-her-element-and-treading-water moments that make series like this work. Northern Exposure, a far better show with roughly the same plot, proved that casting is vital to making this kind of story tick. To be fair, if you're forced to watch a medical show with your significant other, you could do worse.

Now that House is off the air, this might be the medical show to watch. It lacks the stale drama of Grey's and, unlike The Mindy Project, it knows what it is. Even if the country soundtrack and all-too-easy coincidences don't hit you quite right, you'll likely leave at least a bit charmed by Hart of Dixie.

What it says about you: You wish they made more episodes of the Vampire Diaries.
Perfect for: People who somehow still haven't gotten enough vampire stories.
Worst line of the pilot: "Who's more pathetic, the one who sees hope to make his family whole or the coward who can only see the world through his own fear?"

The Originals lacks the deft rhythm of its older sibling The Vampire Diaries. While The Vampire Diaries leaves you pleasantly surprised, The Originals starts off with a resounding thud. The needlessly complicated exposition, the spoon-fed New Orleans "culture" (meaning obligatory references to food and music), and clunky philosophizing makes watching The Originals like walking through molasses. If this is your favorite guilty pleasure show, you've got a low threshold for pleasure.

What it says about you: You've got Brokeback Syndrome: you just can't quit it.
Perfect for: Ex-Drama Kids who've always wanted to relive their high school glories vicariously on TV.
Worst line of the pilot: "Don't you get it man? We're all losers ... I'm not afraid of being called a loser."

After all these years of sub-par Glee episodes, it's easy to forget how damn good the first season was. The sharp, satirical sensibility to the early episodes announced a show that could grow to be that elusive hit that kids and adults alike actually enjoy. Season two began a downward spiral as Glee became melodramatic and simplistic, tugging heart strings to drive record sales, and totally losing its edge.

If you've hung with Glee this long you must love the characters or the songs, or perhaps you just love to be disappointed. Few shows (True Blood is the only one that comes to mind) have fallen so far from their original potential.

What it says about you: You watched a lot of morbid local news as a kid.
Perfect for: The town gossip.
Worst line of the pilot: "You want this second chance Danny. But you make it difficult by acting all weird and mysterious."

It seems that every town has a violent crime buried deep in local lore. Twisted takes the rather daring plot of following a child murderer's integration back into society as a teenager. There's an intriguing moral complexity to the show that tries to cover all angles of finding yourself a local pariah. Though the show occasionally falls into the schmaltzy pitfalls of stereotypical teen drama, once you start watching Twisted, it's hard to look away.

What it says about you: You're a 13-year-old girl who has never watched television before.
Perfect for: The younger siblings of die hard Sex and the City fans
Worst line of the pilot: "I fell in love with a man ... MAN-hattan."

It's pretty difficult to imagine anyone over the age of 14 watching The Carrie Diaries without at least a dash of irony. This is one of those projects that was birthed almost solely on the strength of an existing property. Alternately clunky, bizarre, and dull, the show wheezes along on the strength of a series beloved by the older sisters and cool aunts of its target demo.

The New York of Sex and the City is complicated, both enchanting and abusive. The women of Sex and the City were equally complex. You would root for them, but they wouldn't stop giving you reasons not to. Carrie Diaries offers none of that complexity, and instead offers simple, banal commentary shoehorned into a plodding, dull plot.