25 Things You Start Doing When You Move to a City

A good public bathroom is a rarity in the city. When you find one, you will treasure it, and pay any price to continue using it. Shopkeepers know this, so signs like the one above are commonplace. Trust us when we tell you that the cost of a croissant or an apple turnover is a small price to pay for a tidy restroom, no matter how much pastry-for-privacy extortion may offend you. Another sad truth is that no matter how much you hate the over-priced faux-culture of Starbucks, you will spend a ridiculous amount of time there while you live in the city, as they offer the only reliable, free public bathrooms known to mankind. Not to mention the free WiFi.

Some weeks you won't remember the last time you actually walked into a building to buy food. In many urban, corporate centers, all you need to do is step outside the office and you'll be greeted by rows of food trucks offering every lunch option you could possibly desire. As you become a food truck connoisseur, you will start following your favorite trucks on Twitter and mapping their routes. Sometimes a favorite truck will relocate to the other side of town for a while, and you'll alter your planned route just to pay a visit to your favorite restaurant on wheels. Just remember, these things are mobile, and sometimes they will move to a spot far beyond your reach. When this happens, it's best to set your favorite truck free, lest you become a foodie Captain Ahab, obsessively plotting ways to find that lost food truck that has moved on to greener pastures.

The city heats up like an oven in the summer. You'll feel like an egg, scrambling between skyscrapers as you make the arduous trek from air conditioned building to air conditioned building. Luckily, the city does offer a glorious escape from the stifling heat of the concrete jungle: rooftop parties. There are many varieties of roof top party, from the "my boss is super rich and wants young people on his terrace so potential investors will stay longer" party to the "my landlord told me not to do this so don't make too much noise" party, and everything in between. All of them are amazing. Even when you hit rock bottom (and you will), you can't help but feel triumphant as you look out over the ethereal light from buildings you can't afford to live in intermingling with the sparkling stars you can barely see through the smog in the night sky. Sometimes, life in the city can be beautiful. If it is, it is usually because the view is from a rooftop party.

Your idea of Asian cuisine growing up was likely limited to General Tso's Chicken from that one Chinese spot next to the pizza place, and the rare sushi lunch with a cool, older family member. Once you move to the city, you will discover that there is more Asian food available to you than just egg rolls and fortune cookies. Half the time you go out to eat someone will get that "Eureka" look on their face, like they've just discovered a cure for a rare disease and suggest, "Why don't we just get Thai?" And you will, because it is the best. The prices are usually affordable, the staff is generally attentive, and the food is delicious. We encourage you to branch out beyond the Pad Thai, though we know it is going to be difficult, as it is a reliable stand-by, like spaghetti and meatballs or a cheeseburger. But trust us, it gets better.

People in the city are always afraid that they are missing something; even at raging parties and bustling events, they find time to tilt their head down toward their smart phone and keep up with their digital life. Sure, everyone and their mother has been sucked into social media, but while Mom is busy "liking" baby pictures and posting motivational quotes, you'll be combing your feed for the weekend's coolest events and networking with colleagues in your field that you've never met in person. Be careful when you head back home to visit friends and family, in some parts of the country, it is apparently considered rude to whip out your phone at the dinner table. Who knew?

Back in your hometown, only the most bourgeois families shopped at Whole Foods. Back in your hometown, you also had real grocery stores in your neighborhood. Many neighborhoods in the city haven't had a decent grocery store since the Carter administration, limiting your fruit and vegetable options to price gouging at the bodega and strawberry milkshakes from the local McDonalds. So, once a week, the roommate who draws the short straw will make the pilgrimage to the pretentious shopping mecca for rations. There will be some times (weekday evenings, Saturday morning) when you can barely reach the avocados because half the city is in there, fighting over that last loaf of artisanal focaccia. Paying tons of money and going through all that trouble to get decent food is rough, but given that the alternative is diabetes, you'll do what you have to do.

Though Starbucks and Panera are doing their best change this, outside the city, coffee is coffee. You buy it every morning at the diner or the gas station, and the only thing to consider before ordering is how many sugars you would like. A proper city coffee shop is a laboratory where everything has weird Italian names and comes loaded with cream. Slowly but surely, you will come around to the idea that a carmel macchiato beats a regular cup of joe any day. Even when you are on the brink of financial ruin, you'll find a way to dig out five dollars for your signature drink. You'll compromise on many things, opting for a dollar slice instead of decent pizza, and going for a PBR instead of a craft beer, but damn it, you're going to enjoy an iced latte even if it means you'll have to walk to work instead of taking the bus.

Say goodbye to breakfast. You'll never be up early enough to have that meal again, and if you are, you'll be so groggy that the best you'll be able to do is slowly shoving a bagel down your throat as you curse your boss for making you get up before 9 am. On those rare days when you have a free morning, you will brunch. For the uninitiated, brunch is basically breakfast, but with mimosas, and it lasts until 5 pm. How can a meal last up to six hours? We're not exactly sure. Brunch feels like a time warp: hours pass and you're somehow just finishing your Eggs Benedict and two of your friends still haven't had an opportunity to complain about their jobs. Be sure to make reservations before you try your first group brunch. Everyone else is planning on getting the most out of their bottomless mimosas, and won't be leaving anytime soon.

Women in the city do yoga—all of them. So, don't be surprised when you are motivated to practice as well. There are far worse fates than getting fit in a calming environment surrounded by beautiful women. Sure, some of your childhood friends might try to insult your manhood for choosing a little Namasté action over the bench press a couple days a week. But by the time they find out about your new found stretching addiction, you'll have found inner peace and outer fitness, so you'll let their jabs roll off of you as you flow your way into downward facing dog.

Outside of the city, you live in your car. You enjoy meals there, you groom yourself there, and when you're lucky, you have sex there. Say goodbye to your four-wheeled friend—it's time to join the world of public transportation. As if people weren't crammed close enough together in their tiny partitions in high-rise apartments, you'll enjoy even less personal space when you commute. Once in a while, feeling like you're in a physical melting pot is charming, as you never know what you'll see on the subway or the bus. More often than not, however, it is just awful. Just when you think there's no way another person can fit in your car, another dozen people elbow their way onto the train just to prove you wrong. And, what's that you hear? The lovely sounds of buskers, ready to treat you to some amateur tunes? Wonderful. Your game plan of keeping your head down and listening to a podcast has now been ruined by an amateur mariachi band. As you stand there with barely six inches between you and sweaty torso of your fellow man, remember, it's cheaper than owning a car.

Crowded apartments with noisy neighbors are par for the course in the city. You'll likely have an opera singer living below you and a group of reggaeton loving barbacks living above you who seem to arrange their schedules perfectly so you can never have a moment's peace. If not, there will be something, whether it be a construction crew or a filthy subletter, to make sure you can get nothing done in your apartment. The workforce in the city deals with this by staking claim to a table in the local coffee shop. Some coffee shops will feel like little more than co-working spaces, filled with busy freelancers who glare at you if you order your iced coffee too loudly. Some places will even charge customers an hourly rate in addition to their coffee due to the excess of writerly freeloaders. Your local coffee shop will be your second home, so make sure you remember to tip your favorite barista. If it is the sort of place that sells beer and wine after the working day is done, you may never have to go back to your apartment again.

For your parents, networking meant playing golf with work buddies once a month, or a quarterly trip to Ruby Tuesday's with the rest of the department. In the city, getting to know people is a full time job. If you're not careful, you can fill your week with a different finger-sandwich-and-happy-hour event every night. You'll fill out so many name tags that you'll find yourself sub-consciously adjusting your signature to the dimensions of that "Hello, My Name Is ..." sticker. We're not sure if anyone has directly benefited from attending one of these events, but there is no shortage of people crowding them in hopes that they'll be the first. Or, maybe, like us, everyone is just there for the free booze.

In the city, time is precious, which is why any event that hopes to be attended will try to lure you there with free booze. We've had free booze at charity events, the theatre, trade shows, office parties, and library fundraisers. When you fall on hard times, keep your ear to the ground. Of course, you don't want to go to your friend's work event only to hear vendors drone on using jargon you don't know, but if you have the opportunity to get drunk on some top shelf gin and tonic, and the only alternative you can afford is Mad Dog 20/20, it might be time to put on your best blazer and mingle. Remember: In the city it is not a question of if there is free booze, but a question of where there is free booze.

Unless you grew up in a beach town, or near some historical landmark, you never had to deal with tourists when you were younger, unless they were really, really lost. Be prepared for your new home to be swarming with visitors throughout the summer and around the holidays. Confused travelers who still rely on physical maps instead of Google Maps will block your path at every turn. They will shuffle slowly along your desired path down the sidewalk and shoot you a fake smile as you hurry past them. Remember that restaurant you loved? Well, it was just on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives last week, so you'll never be able to get a table there ever again. At first, you will sympathize with the lost, confused, overwhelmed tourists, stopping to help them on their way. But, eventually, your heart will turn to stone and you'll ignore them if their problem is anything short of a life and death situation, and even then, they'd better be asking nicely.

When you visit your hometown, you will be astonished that nearly everything is closed by midnight. Even the biggest party animals left in your hometown will fade while the night is still young, leaving you the only one alert well beyond last call. Every time you visit your parents, you will be jarred awake by the bustling throughout the house at the ungodly hour of 7:30 AM. You'll quickly discover that in the city, 9-5 usually looks more like 10:30-7. If you're unlucky enough to start work at the crack of dawn, you'll have to take extreme measures to fall asleep before midnight, while the tapping of high heels and the honking of car horns still fill the streets.

Every year you will own less and less as you move from apartment to apartment. What was a treasured memento last year will be a prime candidate to be left on the side of the road the next. We recommend putting as many cherished keepsakes as you can in storage at your parents' place because you will be surprised at how hard it is to continue cherishing things when you have 24 hours to find and move into a new sublet before you're living on the street. Lugging that beautiful armoire your grandmother gave you from apartment to apartment gets old really quickly, especially when you have to choose between having it in your room and having space for your mattress.

The picture above is from a speakeasy that briefly made its home in an abandoned water tower. When New Yorkers found out about it, they didn't bat an eye, they simply proceeded to tell the person who told them about the crazier places they've partied before. For urbanites, the Stefon sketches from SNL don't sound that crazy, they are actually only light satire. We have to confess, there have been a few times that we have listened to Bill Hader's descriptions of New York's hottest spots and thought, "that sounds familiar." Nightlife in the city is an arms race, a never-ending competition to put on the craziest parties in the most ridiculous venues. Even if you aren't much of a partier, there will be at least one night where you find yourself at a rager staged in a jungle gym built to look like a set from the movie Hook and have no idea how you got there. In fact, not only will you not know how you got there, but if you tried to find the place again, you would have no idea how to get back.

You will work all the time. Either you will put in ridiculously long hours at one job or you'll be have to work a couple jobs so you can pay the rent. Of course, that's if you can even get a job in your chosen field. Any city is filled with aspiring artists of all sorts who, even if they are lucky enough to land a job in their desired field, almost never have their desired pay. No matter what field city dwellers end up in, it seems that they are married to their Macs, often working seven days a week. You'll see people tapping away at computers on the train, in the park, and at the bar as their fingers dart swiftly in that never-ending race to the top. Your parents always told you that you can be anything you want to be, they just didn't tell you how much work you'd have to put in to get there.

Growing up, you often heard your parents compare mortgages and commutes with their friends and co-workers; in the city, it is all about neighborhoods and apartment prices. No matter what city you live in, there is a fine art to getting into a neighborhood while it is affordable, but waiting to move there until it is safe. You will attend parties where the entire evening is dominated by this sort of conversation, even though everyone there already knows each point that will be made during the discussion. God forbid you admit to the crowd that you're new to the city. Everyone will take their turn talking up their neighborhood, even if they secretly hate it, if only to save face in front of the other guests. Once you leave that initial sublet and sign your own lease, you will join them, defending your neighborhood to the death, even if you actually can't wait to move out.

Age is just a number in the city. While your friends back home will be settling down with your old high school classmates, you might date a 19-year-old and a 35-year-old at the same damn time. You'll be shocked when your friends back home talk about the pressure to settle down and start a family before they turn 30. Some of the coolest people you'll meet are single well into their 30s who you'd jump at the chance to sleep with...if they'd just get rid of that 22 year-old boyfriend.

While, stereotypically, men are deeply afraid of commitment, it's amazing how grinding poverty will change your tune. Outside the city, you often have the luxury of thinking about your relationship before moving in together. In the city, as soon as you are pretty sure you can stand each other, it is time to sign that lease. Pro tip: you'll probably break up before your lease is up, so make sure you opt for the most comfortable fold out couch when furniture shopping at IKEA.