25 Ways to Lose Your Job On Social Media

Though there have been numerous examples of people ruining their lives on social media, every week we are treated to new stories about someone tweeting their way to oblivion. It seems like every time we refresh our newsfeed, there is another cautionary tale of someone losing friends, lovers, or jobs due to their online activity. For those of you who haven’t yet had a mandatory four-hour session from HR on the “Dos and Don’ts of Facebook” or some such similar nonsense, we’re here to give you the cliff notes. We’ve found some real life examples of people getting fired for oversharing on the Internet, from the mundane to the creepy to the really weird, and we want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. Some of these “mistakes” involve the poster revealing their heinous sexism, racism, or taste for underage girls, and those are things that we can’t help you with. Others, however, have been fired for innocuous social media faux pas. Take notes and whatever you do, don’t tweet them. Here are 25 Ways to Lose Your Job on Social Media.

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Bitching about your job is an American institution, but the last few years have taught us that the complaints are best saved for the bar and kept off of the Internet. There have been so many stories like this that you have to do a little something extra to make it newsworthy. In 2009, Connor Riley did just that when she was fired for complaining about her job before it even started. Riley stated that she would take a "fatty paycheck," even though she would be "hating the work." We don't think it's exactly fair that she was fired, as we she was simply stating what we all know: you never get paid well for work you actually enjoy. At the time, we thought that something good might come out of this, namely our minifeeds would feature fewer people bitching about their jobs. Judging from the overflow of "Some E-Cards" on our walls, our hopes were in vain.

Lesson Learned: Everyone hates their job [Ed. Note: Except the author]. We just aren't allowed to talk about it.

Timothy DeLa Ghetto: disgraced former pizza shop employee or burgeoning YouTube star? You decide. Tim, who goes by @Traphik on Twitter, was fired after wisely tweeting at California Pizza Kitchen that he didn't like his new employee uniform. His exact word to the account were "black button ups are the lamest shit ever." Though no one is disputing the veracity of Mr. DeLa Ghetto's (an Internet stage name btw) claim, California Pizza Kitchen's representatives took issue with the forum in which he chose to express his informed opinion. Watch Tim's colorful explanation of the situation here.

Lesson Learned: No Bitchin' in the Pizza Kitchen.

In some professions, like Internet writing for example, it is pretty much mandatory to drink heavily. As pretty much every local news station has reminded us in the last several years, teaching isn't one of them. Georgia teacher Ashley Payne is just one in a long line of young teachers who have been fired for such offenses as "living their life" and "having fun." Not only was Payne not in her home district while she was drinking, she wasn't even in the country. Payne posted a picture of herself grabbing a pint at the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, and *gasp* used an expletive in another post. In our view, the only sin she committed was doing the most cliché and touristy thing you can do in Europe besides frenching in front of the Eifel Tower or trying to make one of the Queen's Royal Guards laugh.

Lesson Learned: We treat teachers like garbage in this country.

If you are one of the three people not to have stumbled across this self-righteous pastor's tipless Applebee's receipt, congratulations, you've now completed an Internet rite of passage. The waitress was quoted as saying, "I thought the note was insulting, but it was also comical." We would probably have had some more choice words if we found that receipt on a table we were working, so good on her for keeping things in perspective. Though we feel bad for the waitress, who was let go shortly after she posted the receipt, we're confident that she'll be able to find work at another bullshit chain family restaurant / sports bar trash hole should she so choose. If not Applebee's then Chili's. If not Chili's, Ruby Tuesday. If not Ruby Tuesdays, T.G.I.Fridays. Maybe she could even work somewhere not overpriced and terrible.

Lesson Learned: The pastor reportedly demanded "a whole new staff" waiting for her next time she frequents that Applebee's, so she must give herself 10 percent too.

Bitterbarista.com, the pretty amazing and surprisingly well laid out blog, got Matt Watson, the Bitter Barista himself, into some hot water (or steamed milk if you prefer). Watson was outed as the creator of the popular site by coffee gossip blog sprudge.com. Yes, you read that correctly, "coffee gossip blog": welcome to the twenty-first century, bitches. Watson remained upbeat after he was let go, well, as upbeat as a bitter barista can be. He posted, "My ex-boss thinks this website is gonna stop because I don't work there anymore. Man, I didn't even work there when I worked there!"

Lesson Learned: "Coffee gossip blog" is a thing.

Several Canadian firefighter lost their jobs after they unleashed a series of sexist tweets. The evidence against the firemen is pretty damning. In addition to the tweet above, two of Canada's Bravest published such tweets as "Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind." and "Would swat her in the back of the head been considered abuse or a way to rest the brain?" It seems that neither the Toronto Fire Department nor stand-up comedy are viable career options for the disgraced firemen going forward.

Lesson Learned: Canadians can be just as sexist as Americans.

No, that isn't some sort of hip new sexual innuendo that the kids are using these days (if it is, please DM me @muddycreekU with an explanation). Some guy, who is now our favorite ex-Taco Bell employee ever, licked a stack of Taco Bell shells for some sort of contest, and predictably, the photo ended up all over the Internet. The picture, Taco Bell brass explains, was made for an "internal contest in which company and franchise employees could submit for approval photos of themselves enjoying their first bite." The photo, "violated the rules and spirit of the contest," according to a company spokesperson. Heaven forbid we violate the spirit of the '"first bite" contest. Is nothing sacred?

Lesson Learned: You can even lose the worst job in America with a social media gaffe.

New England Patriots cheerleader Caitlin Davis lost her "job" after a picture of her drawing on a passed out friend in Sharpie was posted online. Though we're sure the Patriots, led by lovable scamp Bill Bellichick, appreciate a good prank, the problem was that she (or others at the party) drew penises and swastikas on their sleepy friend. This was viewed as a blow to the integrity of the institution of objectifying women during sporting events, and Ms. Davis found herself out of a "job." When asked the previous year why she wanted to be a Pats cheerleader, Davis said she was interested in the community service aspect of the gig because, "That's what I did growing up with my church group." Well, it definitely wasn't a synagogue group.

Lesson Learned: The fallout from your social media antics can be semi-permanent.

After a woman claimed that she had to stay home from her job at Nationale Suisse because she needed to be in total darkness and couldn't stare at computer screens, she decided to do a little Facebook posting. As it is difficult to post to Facebook through telepathy, the woman was quickly dismissed from her position. A spokesman for the company said, "This abuse of trust, rather than activity on Facebook, led to the ending of the work contract." The woman attempted to defend herself by claiming that she posted from an iPhone and not a computer, which surprisingly did not get her the job back.

Lesson Learned: If you work Nationale Suisse, invent bogus illnesses.

"The black lady that does the news is a very nice lady. The only thing is she needs to wear a wig or grow some hair. I'm not sure if she's a cancer patient, but still its not something ... that I think looks good on TV."

No, the person who said this wasn't fired, because then that would mean there is some justice in the world. Newscaster Rhonda Lee was let go for attempting to correct the ignorance of Emmitt Vascocu, the author of that comment. Lee responded, "I am very proud of my African-American ancestry which includes my hair ... Little girls (and boys for that matter) need to see that what you look like isn't a reason to not achieve your goals." The higher ups at her station, KTBS, were quick to point out that the company has a policy against responding to viewer complaints, and that was the reason for her termination.

Lesson Learned: Life is unfair.

Those of you who haven't spent any time in Pittsburgh are likely unaware of the glorious Pierogi Race, officially known as The Great Pittsburgh Pierogi Race N'at, which takes place after the fifth inning of every Pirates home game. Andrew Kurtz had been given the blessing of a lifetime, the chance to portray one of the pierogis, and threw it all away. Kurtz took to Facebook to complain about the team, posting "Coonelly extended the contacts of Russell and Huntington through the 2011 season. That means a 19-straight losing streak. Way to go Pirates." His manager saw the post and Krutz was asked to hang-up his potato pastry uniform in the middle of a game.

Lesson Learned: Even the greatest among us can make very mortal mistakes.

While proclaiming "Fuck the Police" may make you money if you're an entertainer, if you are a waitress at a family restaurant chain, it can only bring heartache. Ashley Warden was apparently still upset after her toddler got a $2,500 ticket for public urination, even though the ticket was dropped, and decided to air her displeasure on Facebook. She posted, "Stupid Cops better hope I'm not their server FDP." Not exactly as socially compelling as protesting police having "the authority to kill a minority," but her anti-establishment leanings are appreciated by this publication, if not by Chili's corporate. Chili's response was predictable, "With the changing world of digital and social media, Chili's has Social Media Guidelines in place, asking our team members to always be respectful of our guests and to use proper judgment when discussing actions in the work place ..." Fuck your loaded potato skins too, Chilis. What now?

Lesson Learned: Civil disobedience and molten chocolate cake don't mix.

Demeaning your employer on social media is one thing, but having the temerity to call your own job worthless is pretty impressive. A former employee of New Zealand's Social Development Ministry took to Facebook to describe her work as that of a "very expensive paperweight ... highly competent in the art of time wastage, blame-shifting and stationary theft." Tania Dickinson was dismissed shortly after she made the comments, and the arson charges she was facing at the time didn't help matters either. In her defense, it would be very hard for a paperweight to commit arson.

Lesson Learned: People still use paperweights and refer to them in conversation.

Being fine as Hell is now apparently a fireable offense. That's right: being beautiful can work against you. Thank god most of you don't have to worry about it (if you do have to worry about it, feel free to DM me on Twitter @muddycreekU. Pics welcome.), but, yes, women as gorgeous as Olivia Sprauer have to deal with problems from time to time. Ms. Sprauer was asked to resign from her public teaching post after pictures of her in a bikini predictably made the rounds in the school district in which she was teaching. We doubt that photos of a man in swim trunks would result in termination, but that's a discussion for another day and another channel. In covering this story, many sites have referred to Sprauer as an "amateur" or "aspiring" model who hoped this would provide her a shot at a career. We've always found the term "aspiring" kind of ridiculous when referring to modeling. Can years of training and dedication make you hotter? Here's hoping Sprauer, who plans to attend graduate school in addition to focusing on modeling, achieves both her legitimate and shallow professional ambitions.

Lesson Learned: There is now exactly one instance in recorded human history where being incredibly good looking worked against someone.

The issue of sexism in Tech has been *cough* well-documented. Developer Adria Richards struck back at the boy's club attitude of the industry when she tweeted a picture of two developers who were making jokes about "big dongles" and "forking" loudly at PyCon. The tweet led to another round of debate regarding sexism in Tech and the dismissal of one of the sexist jokers. For her efforts, Richards received death threats, had private information compromised, and was also fired.

Lesson Learned: We're going to pass on this one.

Former Scottish Labor Party candidate Stuart MacLennan's slew of offensive tweets put most American social media gaffes to shame. Nothing was off limits for MacLennan, who took shots at the poor, the elderly, and bananas among other topics with as much profane language as he could muster. Though his tweets were misguided and offensive, we have to give him props for the explanation he provided following his dismissal from the party. He said, "I am young and stupid but that doesn't quite cut it and that's why I'm gone." Aren't we all Stu. Aren't we all.

Lesson Learned: If you're looking for a pejorative phrase for the elderly, you could do worse than "coffin dodgers."

In one of the least popular public school moves outside of Texas in recent memory, Georgia public school bus driver Johnny Cook was removed from his job after speaking up for a poor child. His Facebook post was critical, but had a tone far less incendiary than your average reaction to Ben Affleck playing Batman. He posted, "This child is already on reduced lunch [program] and we can't let him eat. Are you kidding me? I'm certain there was leftover food thrown away today. But kids were turned away because they didn't have .40 on their account. As a taxpayer, I would much rather feed a child than throw it away. I would rather feed a child than to give food stamps to a crackhead." Unsurprisingly, many on the Internet rallied behind Johnny. We're sympathetic to Johnny's plight too, though we wish conservatives would stop talking about crack heads on food stamps, as everyone knows crack heads don't have much of an appetite.

Lesson Learned: Tis better to give a child food stamps than a crack head. What if we're dealing with child crack head? The world may never know.

In case you didn't know, if you ever find yourself a prosecutor in Ohio, you really shouldn't impersonate women on Facebook chat to sway the testimony of a witness. Former Assistant County Prosecutor Aaron Brokler posed as a fictitious girlfriend of a witness, claiming to be the mother of his child. Our favorite part of this story is that Brockler believes he was in the right. He told the Cleveland Plain Dealer, "Law enforcement, including prosecutors have long engaged n the practice of using a ruse to obtain the truth. I think the public is better off for what I did." We think the public would be better off if the chats were made available to us, because we imagine they are pretty hilarious.

Lesson Learned: There are people who do dirtier things on Facebook chat than we do.

If this is a real post, then this employee was epically owned on her way to the unemployment line. We have trouble believing in the post's veracity, as it is almost too good to be true. The crass vanity of the poster, the completely fulfilling response from the boss, the fact that the poster still had two weeks remaining in her trial period: this is the sort of post that we have long dreamed of seeing under the whining, capital letter and exclamation filled rants that pop up our feeds every day. We want to live in a world where this post is real, which is exactly why we fear that it isn't.

Lesson Learned: Not only is the British version of The Office better than the American, but it appears that actual British offices are better as well.

This one is actually a crime and pretty terrible, so we're hoping you didn't need this article to tell you it was a bad idea. A substitute teacher in the Atlanta area was rightfully terminated after it was discovered that he was posting suggestive photos of students on the Reddit forum "CreepShots." The awful forum exists for users to post "sexually suggestive photos that users took of women without their knowledge or consent." We would have asked how you could make such a thing worse, but we now know the answer: take pictures of underage girls.

Lesson Learned: We're going to pass on this one too.

Nutjob conspiracy theories have become as much a part of the fabric of the Internet as twerk fail videos and grumpy animals, but that doesn't mean it is a good idea for you to throw your aluminum tin foil hat in the ring. Generally speaking, if you believe something that is contrary to verifiable facts and said belief is in regard to a terrible tragedy, you should keep it to yourself. NFL running back Rashard Mendenhall threw a false flag down regarding 9/11 and later defended Osama bin Laden in a tweet. Mendenhall did keep his job with the Pittsburgh Steelers for a season after the offending tweets, though he was not resigned this year; the Steelers drafted runningback Le'Veon Bell to replace him. You might be asking yourself how players like Pacman Jones and Ben Roethlisberger kept their jobs after offensive real life behavior. The answer is that unlike these two, Mendenhall is also not very good at football, as Arizona Cardinals fans are discovering this year.

Lesson Learned: If you are going to say offensive things on the Internet, make sure you're so good at your job that your boss chooses to ignore it.

Let us go on record saying that we are in no way opposed to people being terminated for parodying "Gangnam Style." If you've pushed the record button with intent to produce such a video, you deserve all of the worst things that life has to offer. Unfortunately, fourteen offending California lifeguards weren't technically terminated for spoofing Psy, but for "a clear unauthorized use of city property" during the making of the brilliantly titled "Lifeguard Style." After a number of people, including Psy himself, reached out to Pasadena Mayor Andre Quintero on behalf of the lifeguards, an official review was commissioned. Ah, taxpayer dollars at work.

Lesson Learned: No "Gangnam Style" parody understands the actual definition of "parody."

Isn't it weird how these teachers who get fired for wearing suggestive costumes or drinking or modeling tend to be female? It's almost as if we still live in a patriarchy where men in positions of power are applauded for passing judgment on the morality and sexuality of young women. Stacy Snyder was denied her teaching degree when the Millersville University student teacher was caught drinking and wearing a pirate hat at the same time. Though we have to dock her points for what is clearly a last minute costume, we're pretty sure that we have never seen a less racy Halloween get-up. We've don't know about Millersville, but where we went to school that costume would get you laughed out of the keg party due to the lack of effort and excess of clothing. When we saw the headline, we expected to hear that she was naked or wearing full Third Reich regalia along with the offending hat.

Lesson Learned: Rural America wants to make it as hard as possible to make $40,000 a year while spending 65 hours a week dealing with the complaints of bratty children and their entitled parents.

Everything there is to say about Anthony Weiner a.k.a. Carlos Danger a.k.a. The King of the Dick Pic has already been said. You don't have to be a politician to have genitalia photography take down your career. If you are even remotely in the public eye, we would recommend avoiding giving the world a pubic eye full. There's probably a better way to phrase that, but it's far from the worst pun we've seen on the subject. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, watch this clip and every other clip John Oliver produced on the subject.

Lesson Learned: Snap a dick pic once, shame on you. Snap a dick pick twice, also shame on you.

Surely, you're already familiar with the exploits of Carly "Crunk Bear" McKinney, the math teacher whose job was one of the first twerking related casualties. The offending tweet included the picture above with the caption, "Listening to @diplo in the shower leads to this ... #expressyourself #whitegirlass #twerk #twerkteam." Admittedly, McKinney's sins extended beyond twerking, as she was known to tweet gems like, "Watching a drug bust go down in the parking lot. It's funny cuz I have weed in my car in the staff parking lot." and "Just got called Ms. McCutie. Points for being clever, however you are still jailbait." The pics and tweets that came from the @Crunk_Bear account enchanted the Internet, leading to the creation of #FreeCrunkBear, and the delight of bloggers everywhere.

Lesson Learned: You will never have a Twitter handle as good as @Crunk_Bear.