25 TV Characters We Wish We Could Get Drunk With

The sad truth is that we spend about as much time with our favorite fictional characters as we do our real-life friends. Between our jobs, sleeping, and watching Game of Thrones and Mad Men, we can barely squeeze in the time to see our drinking buddies once a month. When your favorite TV show is in season, you are probably spending more time with Walter White than you are with your former co-worker who moved across town. After hours of bleary-eyed streaming, we start to feel we know some of these characters better than people who actually exist. We can evem imagine ourselves grabbing a few beers with a supporting character or two.

Our heroes aren't usually the ones we want to have drinks with. The square-jawed everyman might make a good protagonist, but who wants to drink with Raylan Givens and Robb Stark? There are those characters though, usually with second-tier billing, that we feel like we could share a beer with. They aren't the most heroic or dynamic, and they definitely aren't the most attractive, but damn it, we would love to split a pitcher with them. Open up a tab for the 25 TV Characters We Wish We Could Get Drunk With.

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Show: Deadwood
Played by: Ian McShane
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Good luck getting a word in edgewise with Al Swearengen. Every night at the Gem Saloon is pretty similar regardless of who's there with him, unless he's detained because there's someone he has to kill. The man monologues constantly, meditating on cruelty and death as he staggers around with a bottle until he finishes it, or it finishes him. With the last bit of his strength, he stumbles up to a room with one of his girls, howling every step of the way. Usually a drinking companion is best when they do just as much talking as listening, but with Swearengen, the best part is hearing his boisterous speeches that give you a firsthand look into his heart of darkness. Just don't look at him funny, you might end up with a knife in your gut.

Show: Louie
Played by: Louis C.K.
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Self-loathing is rarely as entertaining from anyone else as it is coming from Louis C.K. A night out with Louie won't be any flashy cocktail rooms or crazy hi-jinx, but it will be entertaining. You'll sit with him in a shady dive-bar at an underground comedy club that he's done dozens of times, and still somehow doesn't get any drinks on the house. He'll bring up whatever comes to his mind, from the meaning of existence to why pornography makes him uncomfortable, and you'll enjoy every minute.

We've all been in a bar late at night and listened to a world-weary man tell us about his troubles. You probably don't remember those nights that fondly, but none of those men were as funny and thoughtful as Louis C.K.

Show: Rescue Me
Played by: Jack McGee
Drink of Choice: Beer

Chief Jerry Reilly has downed more beers in his day than you could in four lifetimes. Because you know his wife's second cousin, he'll let you drink with him in the firemen's regular hang out. This smoky old spot (what cigarette ban?) features a pool table, peeled paint, and not much else. Memorial plaques and souvenirs from his fallen brothers are scattered around. They bring up old stories that he tells with a machismo sense of detachment. As he downs a few more brews and loosens up, and you see how he really feels about his fallen comrades. He's a man with deep respect and admiration for old friends, even if he never let them know it while they were alive.

The Chief easily drinks you under the table. Even though he is old, he can still throw them back. If he notices you can't see straight, he'll even walk you home. He'll even make sure he's there to throw a few punches if you find any trouble. Could a better drinking buddy be found?

Show: Roseanne
Played by: Roseanne Barr
Drink of Choice: Canoga Beer

It's not as if Roseanne needs alcohol to loosen up. She's just as blunt and crass as any enlisted navy man when she's not drinking. From the moment you hit your stool at some hole in the wall blue-collar dive, Roseanne starts spinning yarns about family and work life in the crassest terms possible. She'll gladly listen to your problems for a bit...and then proceed to mock them mercilessly. She has compassion, she just doesn't want to let you know it. She'd prefer to use your problems as material, unless she believes your problems are as serious as you think they are.

Show: Weeds
Played by: Justin Kirk
Drink of Choice: Stone IPA

We've all got that friend that takes you out to some shitty bar to tell you about his crazy schemes and get-rich-quick plans. You can't stand that friend, but are their schemes as good as Andy Botwin's? We've seen him become a immigration coyote, a Danish tour guide, and cook for foot-fetish porn, and these are just the schemes he actually followed through on. A night drinking with Andy Botwin would be a night of sharing outlandish plans and drinking craft brews; after you've had enough drinks, you might even start to think some of his plans sound feasible. Just don't agree to give him any money: he might just try to hold you to it.

Show: Married with Children
Played by: Ed O'Neil
Drink of Choice: Girlie Girl Beer

You'd feel more at home in Al's home than your own, so long as the rest of his family isn't there to nag him. Drinking with Al Bundy is a crusty masculine experience. With one hand on his beer and the other hand down his pants, Bundy represents everything appealing about a night drinking cheap beers on the loudly-patterned couch in a dumpy suburban living room. You spend the night killing a case between the two of you, and tossing out complaints about the women in your life. You'll give each other advice that neither of you have the strength to follow through on. Both of you will pass out after a while, staring at the static glow from the television. Peg will take Al up to bed and you'll spend the night on that well-worn couch, at once praying you never end up like Al, and realizing that no matter how much he complains, he doesn't have it half bad.

Show: Sons of Anarchy
Played by: Mark Boone Jr.
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Drinking with Bobby would be non-stop entertainment, if you can live through the night. You'd begin watching Bobby's Elvis impersonation routine at a shady strip club or low rent Reno casino. Hop his chopper back to Charming and you're in for a lethal combination of women, drugs, and doing stupid things on motorcycles. Regardless of where the night takes you, through the bar fights and fire bombs, Bobby Elvis will never lose his cool. That would be the best thing about drinking with him. Lots of guys will get you into all manner of crazy situations, but only a few men are so crazy that they can keep a cool enough head to get you out.

Show: Arrested Development
Played by: Jessica Walter
Drink of Choice: Cloudmir Vodka

You might think that drinking with Lucille Bluth would be terrible. You would be wrong. Drinking with Lucille Bluth would be terrible if you are one of her children. What her children view as verbal abuse, you'll see an amazing time as you sit on the puffy couches of her well-appointed home and listen to her verbally jab all of her loved ones, and anyone else she feels like needling. You might want to appeal to her vanity, so she doesn't turn on you, but otherwise, it will be a nice night, filled with curt language and Cloudmir. So much Cloudmir.

Show: The Cosby Show
Played by: Bill Cosby
Drink of Choice: Unknown

You'll have to wait until the kids are in bed, and he's got to get up early tomorrow, so it's just going to be a couple brews in the kitchen, but it is going to be worth it. There aren't many people around as wise as Cliff Huxtable; there are even fewer people who dispense their wisdom as freely and humorously. He's the best at giving at advice to family, and luckily for you, he knows how to treat everyone like family. Just don't make too much noise or you'll wake his actual family. You'll have a guaranteed good time knocking back a few with Cliff, even if he kicks you out at midnight so he can get some rest.

Show: Futurama
Voiced by: John DiMaggio
Drink of Choice: Beer

No man can make himself at home at every bar in the galaxy, which is why in the future, you'll be happy to have a robot as a friend. Lots of friends can belittle you, but how many friends can belittle you, drink your beer, and eat the bottle afterwards? Lots of robots can help you, but how many of them will ask not what they can do for you, but what you can do for them? Bender is a combination of all of the worst aspects of humanity and robotdom, which makes him one hell of a drinking buddy. Sure, he always has some scheme to get over on you, but how different is that from your human friends?

Show: Boardwalk Empire
Played by: Steve Buscemi
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

It's all casinos and speak-easys when you roll with Nucky Thompson. With him, you're entitled to the best tables and the best liquor while looking at the best showgirls. There's a uneasiness to Nucky whenever you're out with him though, and for good reason. Behind every feathered costume, satin curtain, or gleaming craps table there might be an ambush waiting. Do your best to enjoy yourself as you revel in the best Atlantic City has to offer, and try to let Nucky worry about the rest.

Show: Justified
Played by: Walton Goggins
Drink of Choice: Kentucky Bourbon

You and your boys might think you've raised hell on late night benders before, but you've never done it quite like Boyd Crowder. If there's any part of you that has ever wanted to wield a rocket launcher in the back of a pick-up truck while swilling not-quite-legal bourbon, then Boyd would make a good drinking companion. The night might begin in Boyd's bar, but you won't be staying there for long. Before you know it, you'll be in out in a pick-up truck rolling through the hollows of Harlan County causing all sorts of mischief. You might end up in jail, or perhaps Boyd will shoot you before it's all said and done, but whether you escape unscathed or not, it will be a night you won't soon forget.

Show: Eastbound and Down
Played by: Danny McBride
Drink of Choice: Beer

Who knew joining in someone's downward spiral could be so much fun? Kenny Powers has been in race with himself to the bottom ever since his fastball started slipping. A night drinking with Kenny Powers will begin with an act of senseless vandalism. Maybe you'll bust out some windows at Schaeffer BMW, but that's not the main event; that's just to get your blood flowing a little bit and prove you're not "a pussy." From there it's all fist fights, jet skis, and anything else Kenny can throw at himself to numb the pain of his failure. You certainly not going to be landing any girls you don't pay for, but you'll probably have the time of your life. Just make sure you take his car keys.

Show: 30 Rock
Played by: Alec Baldwin
Drink of Choice: Johnny Walker Black Label

When you drink with Jack Donaghy, you are drinking with sophistication. Though you'll likely end up at some gala event that Liz Lemon isn't invited to, you will begin the night in Jack's expansive office, tasting his private reserves. As you swirl your tumbler and look slightly upward with a superior air, in Donaghy style, you will glean nuggets of wisdom from him. You'll get "business drunk," which is "like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive." Just make sure you dress appropriately for the occassion, as only farmers are caught wearing anything but a tuxedo after 6 p.m.

Show: Northern Exposure
Played by: John Cullum
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Most folks are surprised to find Holling Vincoeur at The Brick, a beat up old bar filled with trappers and lumber jacks. Holling is everything you could want in a bartender: he's got the easy, genteel nature of a learned man and the rough edges of someone who cut his teeth in the wilderness. Before Vincoeur opened The Brick, he was a big game hunter, tracker, and railroad man, as well as number of other mysterious things he isn't in a hurry to tell you about. He's got a piece of wise philosophy for every occasion and some advice that there probably won't ever be an occasion for. By the end of the evening, you'll feel like he's told you his life story. Even if he closes down the bar after telling you hours of tales, rest assured that he's got more for every traveler who passes through Cicely. He's a man who has lived enough for several lifetimes already, but you get the sense he is just getting started. You know there are dozens more tales for him to live.

Show: How I Met Your Mother
Played by: Neil Patrick Harris
Drink of Choice: Scotch

The only thing you know for sure going into a night with Barney is how it's going to end: He's going to score. That doesn't mean you can't have fun along the way. Barney is the kind of guy who can have a good time no matter the locale. He has been with women all over the world, and just as many in his own 'hood. We're not just talking about MacLaren's, where he has scored dozens of times; he's also gotten lucky behind a Nathan's hot dog stand and in the bathroom at Yankee Stadium. The man is insatiable, and will stick with you until you are ready to pack it in and head home, no matter what unexpected turns the evening may take. As long as you are prepared for Barney to sell you out to get his girl (and let's face it, almost every guy will), then you are prepared for a night with Barney Stinson.

Show: The Wire
Played by: Wendell Pierce
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Do you think you get drunk? Compared to a man who solves murders in Baltimore for a living, you've probably never even gotten tipsy. If you ever feel one of those nights coming on where you want to crawl inside a bottle and never come out, then you need to hit the bar with Bunk. After about a dozen Natty Bohs and a fifth of whiskey, you'll be ready for a glorious scenic tour of Baltimore. By scenic tour, we mean shooting beer bottles, playing chicken on the train tracks, and ending up passed out in a bunk bed wearing a pink bath robe. Just make sure you don't let him burn your clothes in an attempt to destroy evidence of your evening.

Show: Battlestar Galactica
Played By: Michael Hogan
Drink of Choice: Whiskey

Saul Tigh always carries two items on his person: his sidearm and his whiskey. He's known to get ugly when he drinks, but he always shows his bar buddies a good time. Time has made this grizzled man even grizzlier. Since the Cylon attack, he has given his eye and his psyche to the resistance. When Saul Tigh spends an evening at Joe's, a makeshift bar behind a storage area on one of Galactica's hangar decks, he gets into the kind of war stories that you don't want to believe. His raspy, aged voice pours over a life of bitter disappointment and hard-fought battles. It's painful to watch him try and make sense of it all, but he will captivate you, at least until he gets lost in his own bitter drunken rage.

Show: Firefly
Played by: Nathan Fillion
Drink of Choice: Ng Ka Py (Chinese Brandy)

Don't go to the bar with Mal on Unification Day, or he'll likely get you in a bar fight. Actually, odds are he'll get in a bar fight no matter what. Mal's smart mouth and smoldering resentment over a lost war have gotten him in more than his fair share of scrapes. In one night drinking with Mal Reynolds, be prepared to hit a half-dozen mining towns in some galactic backwater. It won't be because he intended on giving you an extensive tour that you have to bar-hop. It will be because he got you thrown out of the first five saloons. Don't worry, Mal's pretty tough, so you'll likely win most of the fights. If you lose one, at least you'll have a good story to tell once you heal.

Show: Parks and Recreation
Played by: Nick Offerman
Drink of Choice: Scotch

Who knows what you'll be doing with Ron Swanson while you're drinking: Maybe you'll help him finish carving a canoe, accompany him on a fishing trip, or split bacon-wrapped turkey legs while talking Libertarianism. No matter what manly activities you pursue, you will be drinking scotch, and lots of it. After all, he'll be the first to tell you that "clear liquors are for rich women on diets." Don't think you'll be having much of a heart to heart. The "best friend he ever had" was a guy he worked with for three years but whose name he never learned. A night drinking with Ron Swanson is sure to involve indulgence in the joys of manhood, just don't him expect to talk much.

Show: Friday Night Lights
Played By: Taylor Kitsch
Drink of Choice: National Beer

"Didn't you used to be Tim Riggins?," a doe-eyed young woman will ask your drinking buddy before you begin your raucous night of shotgunning beers and pulling donuts in cornfields deep in the heart of Texas. A night boozing with Tim Riggins is all about drowning the mistakes you've made and the regrets you have about them in boozy chaos. At some point, you'll pull out some real shotguns and shoot beer bottles off of the bed of Tim's pick-up. The two of you will sober up a bit while you talk about life and plot out what parcel of land you'll buy when your ship comes in. Then it's back to the Landing Strip with Billy for a late-night lap dance. "Texas Forever," you'll drunkenly scream as you watch the ladies dance to "Freebird." Finally, you'll head back to the Riggins residence and pass out on their old second-hand couch with a near-empty fifth of whiskey in your hand.

Show: Mad Men
Played By: John Slattery
Drink of Choice: Vodka Martini

They say Roger Sterling has lived his life like he's on perpetual shore leave. You don't have to go out on the town to drink with Roger, he's got a liquor war chest right in his office. Knock on the door to make sure he isn't, umm, rogering his secretary, and pop in for a quick vodka or four. You'd think the ex-wives drive Sterling to drink, but after talking to him for a bit, you realize that as far as he's concerned, there's more where they came from. Roger Sterling drinks because of his deep feelings of inadequacy; he feels undeserving of his station in life. He would never tell you that though. He hides his insecurities in sharp, easy humor that keeps you from real conversation. Sure, he tosses out old war stories, some from the actual war he fought in and others from board rooms past, and all of them are equally harrowing and entertaining. But you never really do get to know the man. You don't mind though, because his easy charm is intoxicating, even if you can see the pain just underneath.

Show: Cheers
Played by: George Wendt
Drink of Choice: Beer

It would be nice if other barflys were as entertaining as Norm. Norm is a reflection of how all rumpled, booze-soaked regulars see themselves: His coat has a reserved spot on the rack, no one can sit in his stool, and everybody knows his name. Drinking with Norm at Cheers is like drinking with another man in his living room, but Norm's living room has a full service tap and peanuts. Whether Norm is talking local news, complaining about his wife, or debating with Cliff, the easy-going funnyman makes sure everyone has a good time. His endless bar tab doesn't hurt either.

Show: Game of Thrones
Played by: Peter Dinkledge
Drink of Choice: Dornish Wine

Sometimes a silver tongue can get you into more good times than reckless abandon. A night drinking in King's Landing with Tyrion Lannister wouldn't likely begin with the crazy anticipation you get when a college buddy comes to town. The calculating dwarf isn't the kind of guy that has people cheering when he walks into the party. The torch-lit halls of the Red Keep aren't exactly the most welcoming either, especially if you're on Little Finger's bad side and he's denied you brothel access. Don't be fooled: Odds are, you'll have a lot more fun and get in a lot more trouble with Tyrion than any keg-standing party animals in all of the Seven Kingdoms. In a land of manipulators, this is a man who truly knows how to get what he wants. If you're looking to land some courtesans, great. If you're down for making green fire bombs, the Imp is good for that too. There are innumerable secrets in King's Landing and odds are that Tyrion can hook you up with as many of them as you can handle and even get you laid while drinking that sweet Dornish Wine.

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Played by: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Katilin Olson
Drink of Choice: Coors Light

We've all had times in our lives when we've been part of a close-knit group of friends who we camp out in the bar and avoid the world with. Maybe it was that last year of college. Maybe it was those few months in your twenties when you realized you had no clue what to do with your life, but didn't have the cash on hand to quit your job. The gang on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia found that beautiful drunken moment of indecision and never let go. With nothing better to do in life than pull hair-brained pranks and make desperate moves to get laid, a night with Dennis, Charlie, Dee, and Mac (Frank will be there too) would be a night in Never Never Land, except the Lost Boys have beer guts and could use a shave. Life is good when your only responsibilities are tricking your friends into buying you another round and finding some quick cash once you're all out of money. Well, at least it's good until you wake up in the morning face down on the dirty floor of Paddy's Pub with empty pockets and a penis drawn on your forehead in magic marker.