As you may have heard, Shia LaBeouf was arrested in Austin, Texas last week for public intoxication while in town for the certified worth-it Austin City Limits Music Festival. Initial reports revealed the incident was initiated by a hapless instance of jaywalking, which ultimately led to a police officer discovering the aroma of alcohol on LaBeouf's person. So our guy Shia got a little tipsy at a music festival, yeah? We've all been there. However, new details regarding the arrest add some distinctly LaBeoufian flavor to the proceedings.

"LaBeouf’s speech was slurred and thick-tongued and his eyes were glassy and dilated," the affidavit says, according to the Statesman. Okay. So he was, as previously stated, pretty drunk? Got it.  Where's the LaBeoufian move, though? Well, according to esteemed literary journal TMZ, Shia also told the arresting officer that "LAPD usually lets him go because they had killed a friend of his." When this plea didn't quite land with the officer, Shia reportedly claimed that he was a member of the National Guard before succumbing and saying "Do whatever the fuck you gotta do."

Shia's latest film, the post-apocalyptic thriller Man Down, is due later this year and reteams the undeniably great actor with A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints director Dito Montiel. He also recently acquired a wonderfully abstract Tupac tattoo, so all is actually quite well indeed: