Joe Biden, your favorite crazy uncle and contender for the coyest motherfucker alive, has been given carte blanche to continue giving us campaign blue balls. CNN announced today its criteria for the first Democratic presidential debate, and it gives Biden all the time in the world to officially announce his candidacy. In fact, he can wait until the very day of the debate, Oct. 13, and still stroll onto the stage with a nod and a wink.
To qualify a Democratic candidate must have an average of at least 1 percent in three credible primary poles within six weeks of the debate, a feat Biden has achieved without officially being in the primary. In the most recent polls Biden is at 17 percent for NBC/WSJ, 18 percent for Quinnipiac, and 22 percent for CNN/ORC. In all three he only trails longtime front-runner Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. Biden's ahead of actually declared candidates Lincoln Chafee, Martin O'Malley, Jim Webb—all of who have been invited to the debate.
Regardless of Biden's declaration or lack thereof, the first Democratic debate will be decidedly less crowded than that of the Republicans. Look out for the shots to start firing Oct. 13. You can even stand in the middle of them via virtual reality.