Thanksgiving break doesn't get its fair shake. Winter and spring break are perfect times to turn up—basically because you have more days to recover after getting your stomach pumped—but Thanksgiving's got its specialities, too. Freshman year, it's your first opportunity to go home and explain dab gauntlets to your friends and gender studies to your parents. In short, it's time to get stupid and smart simultaneously. (Which is also a pretty good description of college.)

It's Thanksgiving break. Thanksgiving break forever, and everyone should get extra dumb over the next few days. Man, fuck your finals. Turn down for nothing. Explain how you've got that crazy corn that comes in all colors. Every corn, every color. Channel James Franco. Channel Spring Breakers. Bikinis and big booties—this is what Thanksgiving is all about. Starting right now.

Get weird to this: The Spring Breakers Thanksgiving Special.

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