Lemme guess: your favorite TV show character is struggling with a zombie apocalypse. Yawn. He or she is just trying to raise some pigs or maintain a thimble of dignity in a world where human life isn't valued much. Cool story, Rick.

Lizzy Caplan's Virginia Johnson, on Showtime's Masters of Sex, is trying to fashion a life for herself in the face of overwhelming social structures that doom you from your first breath, son! These structures seek to keep all of us in the dark about how our private parts work! These structures trap women, gays—anyone that's not a white heterosexual male who's been told he can hump any chick he wants and then roll off and go to sleep—within strict roles and then allow for no deviation. You're someone's soon to be wife and any needs beyond having an apron and a roof over your head will not be attended to. Or you're closeted but will not be allowed to express your real desires except in shameful secret. It's some bullshit.

That's where Johnson comes in. Like some kind of time-traveling agent of liberation, she's able to see the structures that everyone else takes for granted, that everyone else has been conditioned to not see. She chips away at the illogical cracks in those structures with her great transparent dildo of truth. She's standing up for everyone's inalienable right to sexual pleasure. (Thomas Jefferson left that one out of the Declaration because he was a punk.) Do not get it twisted. We are all marching on the path to the brave new world of Virginia Johnson. It's gonna be a healthy, happy, humpful place.

This is why Caplan's Johnson makes your favorite TV character look like a coward.

Screw gender roles. She'll happily take the lead if the man's incapable. Or old.

GIF via Devenir Rouge

She stands by her convictions.

GIF via Dame Magazine

And isn't a hypocrite about it.

GIF via Swedish Fish Rule

She is not your baby mama and your sugar daddy.

GIF via Bennet Drake

Nah, she's not gonna let society dictate her life.

GIF via Masters of Sex

She's mature enough to know that kissing isn't some playground shit. It's not a binding contract that makes you boyfriend and girlfriend. #StopSimping

GIF via Prismatically

She asks the tough questions with a smile on her face. Meanwhile, you are shook.

GIF via Jaym Is Perfection

And can handle a flashlight/camera dildo without blinking.

GIF via Impresionante Katic

Then stick around to watch exactly how it's used.

GIF via Frog and Prince

Without lifting a finger, she can make a grown man look like the pubescent teenage boy he is inside.

GIF via We Are Masters of Sex

And if you lay a finger on her, she will gut you.

GIF via Jaym Is Perfection

She's brutally honest.

GIF via Legendary Duo

And can detect all bullshit.

GIF via Super Geeky Girl

She can recognize a n00b when she sees one.

GIF via Teen Girl TV

But she's capable of gut-wrattling empathy.

GIF via Moneey Penny

Basically her life's motto is, "You do you, girl."

GIF via Legendary Duo 

 Whatever it takes.


RELATED: 5 Reasons Why "Masters of Sex" Is the Best New Drama of Fall 2013