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There's nothing wrong with good girls. Actually, some of our favorite celebrities are supremely wife-able women with morals and wholesome values in spades (See: Taylor Swift, Emma Stone, Miley Cyrus—wait, scratch that last one). Still, there's something undeniable about hellishly hot bad girls, especially when they front like they're charitable and forgiving Christians but are secretly catty, judgmental, and worse.
That said, you know we're tuning in for ABC's new soap series, GCB (formerly Good Christian Bitches, then Good Christian Belles), which premieres this Sunday at 10 p.m. Starring Leslie Bibb as Amanda Vaughn, a former high school "Queen Bitch" who returns to her Dallas hometown a divorced mother of two and faces off with her old tormentees, led by once-nerdy, surgically-enhanced Carlene Cockburn (Kristin Chenoweth), hypocrisy and hair-pulling are assured.
Reminded of the delight that is sinfully sexy women posing as saints, we had to give some love to all the finest GCB's we've seen on the screen. Take a knee for The 10 Hottest Holier-Than-Thou Christian Women In TV Shows and Movies. Amen!
Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)
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Leslie Bibb, GCB
10. Leslie Bibb as Amanda Vaughn in GCB (2012-Present)
Good girls gone bad are a thing of amazement, but bad girls gone good? That's a little tougher to pull off. Take it from Amanda Vaughn, the leading lady in ABC's new series, a former alpha-bitch, uppity Christian girl who has recently returned to her hometown in Dallas, Texas to turn over a new leaf.
Recently divorced, Amanda comes home with her tail between her legs to find the girls she once tormented have formed a super-clique that claim Jesus as its leader and are still nursing decades-old wounds. In other words, her once holier-than-thou attitude has come full circle and sunk its teeth into her ass. From the looks of the catty clique, her chances at forgiveness are beyond bleak.
Kirsten Dunst, Mona Lisa Smile
9. Kirsten Dunst as Betty Warren in Mona Lisa Smile (2003)
Don't be fooled by her crush-worthy package—Betty Warren is vehemently against anything that even slightly resembles fun. Instead, she finds her joy in classes at Wellesley, a women's college, being the conspicuously-conservative head of the Alumnae Association and writing fiery editorials in the school paper.
What's burning up her pen? The school nurse handing out contraception (That's encouraging pre-marital sex—gasp!) and her unmarried teacher Ms. Watson (Julia Roberts), who encourages the women in her class to focus on their careers rather than hunting down a husband.
Betty, on the other hand, would prefer a picture-perfect marriage over feminist ideals. She marries Spencer while still enrolled, who is later found to be screwing around behind her back. It may be trite (and a non-Christian concept), but it proves true: Karma is a bitch!
Alanis Morrisette, Dogma
8. Alanis Morissette as God in Dogma (1999)
OK, so Alanis Morrisette isn't exactly a Christian in Dogma, but she is the one who's responsible for the entire religion. Forget angels and by-the-book Christian girls— Alanis Morrisette is God himself herself!
As you might expect of God, Alanis doesn't hold her infallibility above our heads, but she is in fact omnipotent, which yes, makes her much holier than thou. Unless you're also capable of wordlessly making Ben Affleck's head explode (If only!), instantaneous outfit changes that would make Cher from Clueless envious, and stunning Jay (Jason Mewes) into silence with merely a look, that is.
Yeah, we didn't think so. In the words of Chris Rock: "Bow down stupid!"
Anna Camp, True Blood
7. Anna Camp as Sarah Newlin on True Blood (2008-Present)
The only one who could ever teach Jason Stackhouse was the wife of a preacher man/anti-vamp-advocate, Sarah Newlin. Sarah rules the Fellowship of The Sun alongside her husband, Steve, with stake, bigotry, and superiority complex firmly in hand, all while captivating the church audience. "You too can become anti-fangbangers and reach a state as godly as mine," she seems to beam.
Her ultra-righteous appearance, complete with heavenly cleavage and angelic halo of blonde hair, inspires former V-addict (well, technically he's addicted to two v's) Jason to momentarily change his ways. He wants the good that emanates from Sarah to be inside him too, but unfortunately for Jason, Sarah (like every other woman in Bon Temps) is only interested Jason's naughty bits being inside her.
Ironically, instead of admitting to herself that she wanted Jason for his sexual prowess, she ascribes her extra-marital-romp (complete with bathtub hand-J) to God, claiming it was "what he wanted." Hmm, where exactly is that in the Bible?
Mandy Moore, Saved
6. Mandy Moore as Hilary Fay in Saved! (2004)
By our counts, Mandy Moore has portrayed a good Christian girl three times in her career: in the saccharine, sex-free love story A Walk To Remember, as a pastor-abiding, almost-married control freak in License to Wed, and in Saved!, but only in the latter was her faith characterized by an unqualified smugness.
Hilary Fay may be a super hottie, but she is also super haughty, tasking herself with the moral perogative of "saving" her classmates and propelled by the belief that she can restore their "spiritual and emotional virginity." Unfortunately for her, while she's preoccupied with that, her "perfect" boyfriend is off losing his v-card to her best friend, Mary Cummings (Jena Malone).
Rather than forgiving her like the good Christian she claims to be, she launches a hate-fueled crusade against her former friend, trying to ban Mary from prom, performing public exorcisms on her, and vandalizing the school in an attempt to peg the graffiti job on her former pal.
When her quest for revenge culminates in her literally destroying a statue of Jesus with her van, we can't help but feel a little smug ourselves. See, God is just!
Amanda Bynes, Easy A
5. Amanda Bynes as Marianne Bryant in Easy A (2010)
When Marianne Bryant's "holier than thou" complex isn't satisfied by saving her virginity for marriage, the conservative Christian tries to snag additional brownie points from God for chastising her schoolmate, Olive (Emma Stone), for parting with hers.
The only thing is, Olive is actually a virgin, and has been trading her formerly blemish-free reputation for cash. The transaction is simple: Olive claims she's slept with the boy and he looks cooler by sexual-association, and Olive makes off with some spending money. No harm done, right? Not according to Marianne's (holy) book.
When Marianne's boyfriend gets himself a case of the clap, Marianne places the blame on Olive, launching a campaign to utterly destroy her. But her real issue? Olive is having all the fun, while she's stuck with an STD-riddled boyfriend and abstinence.
Maude Flanders, The Simpsons
4. Maude Flanders, The Simpsons (1989-Present)
Faith, chastity, and charity: Not every woman in Springfield can claim these, but Maude Flanders certainly can. As the wife of the irritatingly-dogmatic Ned Flanders, Maude makes it a point to demonstrate her strict adherence to God's word. She protests Itchy and Scratchy's foul programming, quotes Newsweek's current conservative viewpoints, and even attends a Bible camp in an attempt to learn how to be more judgmental.
Paradoxically, it's Maude's goodness that tempts Homer into "coveting" his neighbor, a desire that results in him ogling Maude's divine D-cups and lands him in couple's therapy with Marge. But in Homer's defense, it was all Maude's fault: She was flaunting those moral scruples all over Springfield!
Gabrielle Union, Deliver Us From Eva
3. Gabrielle Union as Eva in Deliver Us From Eva (2003)
We all experience a little bit of schadenfreude now and then, but Eva's sole source of satisfaction is derived from two things: being paid to tell people they're not neat enough (as a health inspector) and rubbing her sisters' faces in her success (Look at me, I'm singing in the choir! I'm doing charity work! I'm loving Jesus more than you!). When she has free time, she also enjoys smugly touting her moral fiber ("It's called principle. Maybe the world is in short supply, but I am not.") and meddling in her sisters' marriages, presumably due to boredom.
Her sisters do what any inferior-feeling sibling would do: They hire LL Cool J to date her and cut her down to size. Complications ensue, but in the end he knocks her off her high horse and has her as sprung as the moaning chick on "Doin' It," because, well, that's just how Mr. Lip Lickin' does.
Denise Richards, Drop Dead Gorgeous
2. Denise Richards as Becky Leeman in Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Becky Leeman has it all. She's the richest girl in town (thanks to her daddy, of course) and is also one of the most attractive, two qualities that inspire her to run in the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant.
Instead of feeling bad for her trailer-park bound competitors and their lack of resources, Becky routinely bullies them, all while trying to flaunt her morality before the judges. When asked "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" by the panel, Becky replies: "I'd have good strong roots in a town like Mt. Rose, a solid Christian trunk, and long, leafy branches to provide shade for handicapped kids on a hot summer day." Gag. Even Sarah Palin rolled her eyes on that one!
The other contestants are more qualified, but Becky is the most morally ingratiating, even stooping to a Jesus-themed dance routine that has her tango-ing with the cross-bound-savior to "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You." It's all just so, so wrong.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cruel Intentions
1. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kathryn Merteuil in Cruel Intentions (1999)
Kathryn (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is a good Chistian girl in sheep's clothing, and luckily for us, in this case the sheep's clothing is a foxy Manchester Prep uniform. Ostensibly, Kathryn is the religiously devoted student body president, the "Marcia-fucking-Brady of the Upper East Side" who derives a wealth of pleasure in touting her moral and financial superiority above her peers.
Only Kathryn isn't as wholesome as she appears to be—she's absolutely unscrupulous. She uses men as mere pawns, sometimes soley for pleasure, but more often just to exercise her manipulative muscles. She makes a bet with her step-brother Sebastian (Ryan Phillipe) for his jaguar, which is less about his car and more about destroying his chance at love with legit good girl Annette (Reese Whiterspoon). Not because she hates him, but she's never experienced the emotion herself.
It isn't until Kathyrn is discovered with cocaine hidden in her rosary and a diary of all her manipulations is made public, that the student body knows what we've known all along: Kathryn isn't devoid of evil—she's just really good at hiding it.