After watching Eli Manning and the New York Giants defeat pretty boy Tom Brady and his “decapitated” (per G-Man Brandon Jacobs’s post-game interview) New England Patriots, are you now motivated to go buy a new Honda whip? Or play hooky from work today and binge on a 12-pack of Bud Light? How about watch a marathon of NBC’s The Voice? Yeah, not us, either.

That’s not what big-pocketed advertisers are hoping for, though, since this year’s batch of Super Bowl commercials was the most expensive to date, with a 30-second spot averaging $3.5 million each—a massive increase since the 1973 days of 30-second ads costing a mere $88,000.

Per usual, beer distributors, car companies, and the horndogs at Go Daddy dropped heavy coin on an altogether underwhelming crop of time-killers between the actual game’s moments of downtime. The action on the field, of course, was first-rate, making 2012’s largely weak lineup of ads all the more disappointing. In our hangover of binging on chips, guacamole, and booze, we’ve singled out the five best and five worst Super Bowl XLVI commercials, which, in such an inferior year for corporate salesmen, was no easy task.

Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)

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