Producer: Bass Brothers, Eminem
Album: The Slim Shady LP
Written by Slim Shady while in Slick Rick storytelling mode, "As The World Turns" is a rib-tickling, teenaged misadventure of a dangerous juvenile deliquent with a blond mop on top who spends his spare time torturing BBWs. (If anyone remembers the lesser-known "Fat Girl" by Eazy-E & Ron-De-Vu off the N.W.A & The Posse album, this right here is sorta similar.) Non-PC as can be, this ultimate revenge-of-the-nerd fantasy, complete with Outsidaz shout outs, cannibalism, and belly flops, is told with the guys-only rawness most females hate. Sharp and wicked as ever, Slim endorses the infrequently reported benefits of copious drug use ("Jumped up with a broken back/Thank God I was smokin' crack all day/And doped up off coke and smack"— otherwise that broken back would have hurt). The laugh-out-loud moments are plenty; just be careful who is around when the song is playing.