Image via Complex Original
Rappers and athletes have a lot in common: flashy cars, big houses, beautiful babes, and so on. The only major difference seems to be that many rappers claim to push weight, and athletes just lift weight. Either way, it makes sense that rappers give verbal nods to the same guys they gave physical nods to while buying bottles at the club the night before. And, well, five-time NBA champion Los Angeles Laker Kobe Bryant gets lots of nods.
Just in time for Kobe’s 34th birthday, which happens to be today, we’ve compiled a list of the Black Mamba's greatest guest appearances off the court. Even though Kobe would probably prefer the type of gift that would make Vanessa mad, this is the best we can do. Continue reading for 34 of the greatest Kobe Bryant rap references.
Written by Hana May (@hanamaymay)
“See basketball has always been my thing/I like Kobe, Dennis Rodman and the three point kings”
Song: Master P “Basketball”
For those of you that don’t remember, Master P had contracts with both the Charlotte Hornets and Toronto Raptors. He never actually played a season but he did make a whole song about it. Clearly a Kobe mention was necessary.
“Hide and strike in silence/I'm giant, intertwined with Iron Mike and Kobe Bryant”
Song: Asher Roth “Ampersand”
Apparently Asher Roth is strong and strikes like a basketball ball player—quietly of course. We always thought he was just a stoner that could freestyle on the right day.
“If push comes to shove/Like Kobe in the 4th” - Jaden Smith
Song: Justin Bieber f/ Jaden Smith “Never Say Never”
Justin Bieber isn’t a rapper, but Jaden Smith aka Will Smith’s son (sort of) is. Justin’s been on the cover of Complex—which makes him worthy of the list. And did we mention Jaden’s father is Will Smith? We did. Okay.
"From O.J. to Kobe, uh, let’s call him Tobe/First he played his life cool, just like Michael/Now he rock ice too, just like I do/Yo, you can’t do better than that?/The hotel clerk who adjusts the bathroom mat?/Now you lose sponsorships that you thought had your back"
Song: Nas "Coon Picnic (These Are Our Heroes)”
Nas took shots at Kobe in 2004 on his track. Now, they’re partying at the London Olympics together.
“You need to step off, take ya tennis shoes somewhere/And your sweatsuits and ya Kobe Bryant outfit, and go join the Lakers, square” - Pimp C
Song: UGK “Still Ridin’ Dirty”
This mention comes in the form of an outro. But the idea of insulting someone because they’re in a “Kobe Bryant” outfit is pretty funny. You can thank us for adding a new insult to your repertoire.
“And until Buchwhick Bill starts dunking on Kobe Bryant/I'm applying pressure” - Rass Kass
Song: Punchline and Rass Kass “One on One”
Bushwick Bill of Geto Boys will never dunk on Kobe. Looks like Rass Kass will keep applying pressure.
“Purple, yellow, white/Like my Kobe Bryant jersey”
Song: Soulja Boy “Bapes”
Seeing as the majority of the lyrics of this song are “I got me some Bathing Apes” really Soulja Boy saying anything else is welcomed. Even if he just compares his shoe colorway to Kobe Bryant’s jersey colorway.
“Niggas heard of Chip Banks and left him lying in the hall/Your boy Sandy Brock was ill, like Kobe Bryant with the ball/It's no exceptions, even the biggest giants gotta fall” - Trife Da God
Song: Ghostface Killah f/ Trife Da God And Solomon Childs “Grew Up Hard”
Trife Da God is responsible for this Kobe Bryant drop on “Grew Up Hard” which appears on Ghostface Killah’s More Fish. Kobe Bryant is ill with the ball and it’s what has made him a millionaire times a hundred, twice.
“I'm a hundred miles far/I'm feeling Chris Childs/You looking like Kobe Bryant y'all"
Song: Wale “Mama Told Me”
“Mama Told Me” was the second track on Wale’s debut album Attention Deficit and that’s kind of all there is to say about it. Kobe has five championship rings. We’re not sure how bad it would be to look like Kobe Bryant, even if Chris Childs' fists got the best of him.
“I got gangsta hoes Kobe Bryant scared to sodomize/And .45's for them suckers y'all idolize” - Nas
Song: Notorious B.I.G. f/ Nas “Living in Pain”
Nas really had a problem with this dude for a while, huh?
“Wear my ring and my confetti, I'm Kobe Bryant ready” - Lloyd Banks
Song: Lloyd Banks f/ Juelz Santana “Beamer, Benz, or Bentley”
You don't have to be a champ to wear a ring, but really, who steps out wearing confetti?
“I aint playin’/I can look Yao Ming, straight face up/I’m back like Kobe Bryant after rape case, boy” - MJG
Song: UGK f/ 8 Ball, MJG And E-40 “Used to Be”
Though strange to call it a “comeback,” the two seasons after Kobe’s 2004 rape case he led the league in scoring.
“He ain't stylin’ enough to be ballin’/Kobe Bryant Odom, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce/Combined in one frame” - Azealia Banks
Song: M.I.A. f/ Azealia Banks And Missy Elliott “Bad Girls (N.A.R.S. Remix)”
Azealia Banks is the only female to make this list and actually the only female we’ve heard talk about the baller on a track (correct us if we’re wrong). Three basketball players, one frame. Azealia scores.
“I'm not Kobe Bryant, it's a yes or no answer” - Juelz Santana
Song: Juelz Santana f/ Fabolous “So What’s It Gonna Be”
You've never scored 81 points in a single game, either. We know you're not Kobe Bryant, Juelz.
“Her girlfriend told her, that I was creepin’ with a stripper/Told her I was courtside, watchin’ the wack ass Clippers/Bitch please/I’m a Laker fan and Kobe that’s my nigga”
Song: Game “Cats and Dogs”
Game likes Kobe so much he pushed his The R.E.D. Album back so it would be released on the date of Kobe’s numbers 8 and 24 in 2011. That’s August 24 dummies. Though, in total Game rescheduled the release 10 times, so it may have just been an excuse to buy some more time.
“Watch the Lewinskis that just wanna swallow/Remember Kobe Bryant up in Colorado”
Song: Redman "Lights, Camera, Action”
We'll definitely remember that, Reggie.
“The real crack music, approach the fiends/they approaching me I approach a beef around there/Nigga your career will go down hill like Kobe’s team” - Black Milk
Song: Black Milk f/ Phat Kat “Lookatusnow”
Technically this one is more about the Lakers than it is about Kobe. In the 2006-07 season when Black Milk’s album Popular Demand that features “Lookatusnow” dropped, the Phoenix Suns bumped the Lakers out of the Western Conference finals first round. Kobe led the league in scoring though. So though Black Milk’s lyrics may come down on Kobe, it isn’t fully deserved.
“Free throw line, you hear 'em chanting/MVP, MVP/Kobe Bryant AKA envy me"
Song: Lil Wayne "Kobe Bryant"
With sound bites from Kobe himself, Lil Wayne’s song titled after the basketball player is pretty much the ultimate ode to the LA Laker.
“Dribble rock like Kobe Bryant bounce the ball”
Song: Game “Remedy”
In a song all about L.A. it would be hard not to mention Kobe Bryant. The Game slots the Lakers player in by using a crack-to-basketball metaphor.
“First class air crafts what I'm flyin/To L.A., Shaq, Eddie, Kobe Bryant and them/Save the jokes for Chris Tucker, Richard Pryor and them” - Beanie Sigel
Song: The Roots f/ Beanie Sigel “Adrenaline”
Every namedrop in that line, except Kobe, is so outdated. Kobe deserves some credit for sticking to one team.
“I might be in a Lex watching the game tonight/I got a hundred on Kobe, hope he playing it right” - Lil Wayne
Song: Lil Wayne f/ Big Tymers “Young Playa”
Now Weezy and his YMCMB fam bet $1 million games, not $100.
“So I guess it’s only young homey/The great 8, Mr. Kobe/Give ‘em the ball dog, he ready”
Song: Snoop Dogg “Hoop Dreams (He Got Game)”
“Hoop Dreams” all starts when Snoop Dogg has a dream about playing in the NBA. His version of the team has everyone from Tim Duncan to Gary Payton to Scottie Pippen to Allan Iverson and even Dr. Jay. His team also stars a young—seeing as he is still wearing the number 8—Kobe.
“I had dreams of the league, one day I’d play Kobe/Or walk up to Puff and he would really know me” - Kanye West
Song: Beyonce f/ Kanye West “Ego (Remix)”
An official remix with a high-end video and all, in Beyonce’s “Ego (Remix)” Ye’ lists Kobe as thee player he wanted to play in the NBA. Nowadays, Puff definitely knows who Kanye is, but no matter how big Yeeyz's ego gets, he’ll never play against Kobe.
“With a splash of Monster Kody/Shoot faster than Kobe”
Song: Jay-Z “Some People Hate”
Jay-Z manages to reference both an LA gangster and an LA basketball player and compliment himself in one line. Swoosh.
“Clean them like dish detergent/Kobe Bryant, but the sicker version/Big Meech, but the spitter version” - 2 Chainz
Song: Machine Gun Kelly f/ Steve-O, 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Mystikal, French Montana & Yo Gotti “Wild Boy (Remix)”
2 Chainz did play basketball in college. These dudes should play one-on-one.
“One hood with 20 four-four's like a cloned Kobe Bryant”
Song: Kendrick Lamar “The Heart Pt. 2”
Los Angeles rappers generally like Los Angeles-based athletes. In the “Heart Pt. 2” Kendrick Lamar drops a verse that doesn’t just say “I’m Kobe Bryant” and instead gives a quiet mention to Kobe’s jersey number.
“We hit the spot to chill with the Fuji Grill/She ordered the Kobe beef like Shaquille O’Neal/Second I walked in, the whole room got still/I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal” - Kanye West
Song: Ghostface Killah f/ Ne-Yo and Kanye West “Back Like That (Remix)”
A lot of the Kobe lyrics are just a name mention paired with a comparison to being great, on the “Back Like That (Remix)” Kanye manages to use the MVP’s name in a double entendre. You want to order kobe beef, but you don’t want any Kobe beef.
“And, when it comes down to this recordin'/I must be LeBron James, if he's Jordan/No, I won rings for my performance/I'm more of a Kobe Bryant of an artist/Same coach, same game been startin'”
Song: Lil Wayne “Dough Is What I Got”
Well, to be fair, LeBron has a ring now, too.
"The kid in the field/Bitches argue over my balls like Kobe and Shaquille" - Lloyd Banks
Song: G-Unit "Bump Head Pt. 2"
If it wasn't for Lloyd Banks, there would be no "ball" innuendo on this list. We couldn't be more thankful for this hilarious, and accurate, line. What a lyricist.
“When I roll up on n***as I tell them to move slowly/Or get 8 to their chest like a Kobe jersey” - Beanie Sigel
Song: Kobe Bryant f/ Beanie Sigel, Black Thought, And Broady Boy “Philly’s Finest”
Beanie Sigel delivers one of the hardest lines about Kobe Bryant to date. Like Beanie Sigel, the Los Angeles shooting guard was born in Philadelphia. Kobe even makes an appearance on the track around three minutes in, but he’s a much better baller than rapper.
“You know how I be/Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me” - Shaquille O’Neal
Song: Shaquille O’Neal “Freestyle”
In what might have been the height of the Kobe and Shaq beef, in this infamous freestyle Shaq takes shots at Kobe, which he ends off with “tell me how my ass tastes.” Though Shaq performed the song to a cheering crowd in a New York nightclub, Kobe took the high road and didn’t respond. Though this may not be Kobe’s favorite lyric about himself, it probably inspired him to win two more championships after.
“Trying to get that Kobe number/One over Jordan” - Kanye West
Song: T.I. f/ Kanye West, Jay-Z, & Lil Wayne “Swagga Like Us”
Kobe knew what he was doing when he changed his number to 24. So did 'Ye.
"Kobe ’bout to lose a hundred fifty M’s/Kobe my nigga, I hate it had to be him/Bitch you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym” - Drake
Song: Rick Ross f/ Drake And French Montana “Stay Schemin’”
This became one of the most parodied hip-hop lines this year, and maybe ever. Drake felt bad for Kobe, but turns out Kobe was okay—he didn’t lose the M’s or his chick. Bitch you wasn’t with him reconciling with Vanessa!
“Who da neighbors/Kobe Bryant from the Lakers/Now that’s paper” - Juicy J
Song: Wiz Khalifa f/ Juicy J "Errday"
Being neighbors with Kobe Bryant is the pinnacle of success. When people tout their own worth by mere association with you, that's when you've made it. The line was so popular, that Juicy made his own "Who Da Neighbors" song based around it.
