After R. Kelly’s disturbing interview with Gayle King on March 6, it was clear he’s unraveling, though the singer has another explanation for his outburst on TV.

TMZ reports Kelly wanted his “spirit” to express his truth. According to insiders, he’s always in touch with his spirit and is more likely to listen to that than other people. He also felt obligated to himself and his fans to break his silence and share his perspective.

His CBS interview with King marked his first public comments since being charged with 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse. During the sit-down, he shouted at King, erupted at the cameras, labeled his accusers as liars, and denied any wrongdoing. While some thought it was a publicity stunt, and others thought he was experiencing a mental breakdown, it seem Kelly gives “zero fucks” about the public’s reaction to the interview and how he's currently being depicted, per TMZ's sources.

After the interview, King sat down with Time to discuss the interview and what it was like being in Kelly’s presence during his emotional fit. “The more he ranted, I was thinking I don’t want him to get up and leave, which he has done in interviews when he gets agitated,” King said. “He was clearly agitated by some of the questions, and I just didn’t want him to leave. So I figured the more agitated he got and the more emotional he got and volatile he got, the best thing to do was to sit there and just be still.”

According to TMZ, music has been the only thing that’s prevented Kelly from enduring a complete meltdown. He’s been trying to work on new material, which he’s using as a distraction from his escalating legal battles.