Just look at that little cockroach up there. Now imagine that cockroach gliding toward you as a massive pile of horse manure spontaneously bursts into flames nearby. If you're in New York, imagining that uniquely American nightmare is a huge waste of your time because you could just walk outside and see it IRL. The culprit, of course, is this godawful heat.

An adorable side effect of NYC's current climate is that it’s inadvertently the exact sort of weather required to inspire American Cockroaches to fly. Yes, fly.

DNA Info got the scoop on this unfortunate reality straight from the cockroach enthusiast's mouth. "In hot steam tunnels, something with the temperature and the humidity encourages them to fly," Ken Schumann, Bell Environmental Services entomologist, said Friday. "When it's warm and steamy that seems to be what they like." Ugh.

The greater the heat, the more use cockroaches have of their muscles. Interesting. Also, cockroaches have muscles? Those sadly and tragically dwelling in southern states are likely no stranger to the flying American Cockroach, but we can all rest a bit easier knowing that their flight pattern more closely resembles a disciplined glide rather than some straight up bird shit.

If you manage to avoid these flying cockroaches, perhaps your good luck will extend to avoiding that aforementioned flaming horse shit. The Department of Environmental Conservation announced last month that it had received multiple complaints of exploding horse manure in Throop, prompted by the region's overwhelming heat. One flaming poop fire took the combined effort of 3 different fire departments to extinguish it.

In conclusion: