The '90s Hip-Hop Trends That Should Never Come Back

The "all things '90s rap Tumblr inspo" internet orgy is at its peak and shows no signs of slowing. Eventually it'll just Avril Lavigne itself, as all trends tend to do, but for now it has some serious legs.

Hip-Hop is no stranger to re-purposing, biting and homaging the shit outta itself. Rappers pirate anything and everything they need—it's really an endearing part of the culture. Recently, there seems to be a prominent backlash towards all this from the generation that was actually physically present during the 1990s and not still inside of a nutsack. (Love that I can write "nutsack" with impunity on Da Pins.)

The first wave of this '90s rap fashion revival came in the form of snapbacks, but with such a major proliferation the lines became too blurred to make a case for or against it either way. Now, bucket hats and Versace silk are the contentious items. I give minus five shits about explaining either, so I won't waste your precious Internet minutes. Instead, I'm gonna highlight 15 trends from '90s hip-hop culture that thankfully haven't come back...yet. Sit back, spark that dutch, put on Dah Shinin' and get your knowledge right 'cause these trends could come back any day now if we don't keep them where they belong: in the motherfucking graveyard.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.

Overalls

These joints were all over the place during the decade in question. I personally feel like it was heavier on the RnB side of things, but, I mean, shit, even DMX was in overalls after 99 so what does that tell you? Even J.T.T was suited in overalls dropping the ill snarky remarks about his incompetent pops Tim Taylor. The thing about this one that kinda bugs me out is that overalls don't ever actually go away. They kinda wane in popularity, but are always kind of there, waiting to strike. It's only a matter of time before dudes starting trying to get their Fresh Prince back on heavy and I'd prefer not to be around for that.

Hooded Hockey Jerseys

Straight up, I wear this kit in the winter. I like it, but it's glory with the rap world was short lived—93 to 96, I'd say. There was a brief run on RapCity where you would see this combo in BootCamp, Gangstarr and Wu videos. I think even Biggie rocked it once. Even though this is a list of joints we hope won't come back, this is the one I fully support and am only including it so you fucking bloodthirsty cretins can let ya boy live.

Batting Gloves

Just as the sweat/wrist bands would become synonymous in the 2000's, the batting glove was the go-to accessory for when you needed something highly unnecessary and pointless to add to your image. Franklin seemed to be the most common brand for this gullible gloving nonsense. I hadn't seen a pair make a video cameo since maybe the last Missy clip until Aubrey slid his limp wristicles into some Nikes, flailing around and talking about catching bodies.

Canes

If you are 26 or younger and watch enough rap videos from the '90s, you'll notice a disproportionate amount of walking canes to actual visible walking handicaps. You're not tripping. Dudes did not have polio or nothing. They just thought canes were tight. Not sure why that was a thing, but it absolutely was—some sort of gangsta aristocrat crossover phase that never quite felt right, but happened nonetheless.

Shitty Weed

Straight up and down, we all can agree that stress never needs to come back. If ever there was a legit reason to be bitter at this generation's rap fashionistas it would be that they never had to smoke shitty weed. Imagine scraping the inside of your oven then rolling that into a blunt and smoking that shit. That's what ALL weed tasted like up until 1998. Nowadays, it's easier to find Edward Snowden's ass than shitty weed. No more stress. Thank Jah.

Shirtlessness With The Vest

Oh man, once rappers saw what hair metal dudes had gotten away with in the '80s there was no way to prevent this sus trend from happening. Dudes would dead ass just ditch the shirt and pop on the vest like it was nothing. Athletes, rappers, actors, VJs, you name it. You could'nt avoid it. Straight up shirtlessness will never go away because of egos and alladat, but throwing a vest on top of your skin is like trying to spit out a wild fire. It ain't stopping you from getting a one way ticket to Bummersville.

Dr. Suess Hats

Busta was not the only dude to whip out the Cat In The Hat x Dr Seuss signature headwear. There were all kinds of flagrant versions of this hat and shit was the opposite of cute. You take that hat out of the context of reading a story to your kid before bed time and it's pretty much the biggest crown of NOPE you can put on your dome in the history of ever.

Scrunchy Socks

My spellcheck says "scrunchy" ain't a word, but fuck 'em. Rappers would grab Timbs or some other boots then get some like jazzercise looking ass socks and try to tell you about committing the 1-8-7. Hindsight has confirmed that the victim they were spittin' about must have been their dignity. Murder, murder, murder. Kill, kill, kill yourself.

Inexplicable Toothbrushes

Can't say I ever saw these on the West Coast, but I vividly remember dudes in videos rocking the toothbrush flows. I mean, more power to you if you think you're famous enough to take a toiletry item out of its normal environment and dead ass convince people that it is some sort of trend that they aren't hip to yet. And by "more power to you," I actually mean I wish your step dad beat you more when you were younger.

FUBU

It would not be cool whatsoever to try and ironically pull off some FUBU gear right now. *shakes Mutumbo-sized finger in your grillatin* Don't do it, kids. At my particular Southern California high school, the sheer lunacy of white dudes rocking FUBU jackets was out of control. Bryce would come into class with his latest For Us By Us score from Mr. Rags with double fake diamond earrings. He'd sit next me and give me some sideways look before I happily reminded him that he played on the "Purple People Eaters" youth soccer team just four years prior.

Discmans

Yo, fuck Discmans. Those shits makes me bitter as hell now that I think about it. We had to legit lug around those plastic bricks that ate batteries quicker than Courntey Love eats Vicodin just to check some tunes. If I ever catch one of these rapsters with even a hint of trying to rock these again, I'm gonna get on my Jeru The Damaja vibes and frisbee that bullshit out of your hand and straight into the wall with the quickness. Now you can have 4 million songs plus the wildest porno in your fucking pocket. Tapes get the pass cause I say so.

Silk Boxers

P-A-U-S-E. Pray to old and new gods that this sus trend never returns. Rap and RnB videos were highly flagrant with dudes rocking silk boxers. I can't even fathom why this was ever allowed in the first place. Zero is the only quantifiable number of chicks that want to see you smother your beef in silk boxer sauce. Do not try and re-enact the Ginuwine video in the silk chonies for any girl ever.

Silk Shirts

Okay, so these are poppin' at the moment, but I'm here to check y'all. Back in the day these shirts were everywhere. Even Jim Carey fucked with them heavy. There weren't any rules to them. Shit was like the The Wildly Sus West of shirts. I can assure you that right now as you're reading this there is some party rock iPod DJ asshole with "Falcon" or something equally idiotic in his name that is seriously considering purchasing one of these nightmares so that he can turn his swag on turbo during an Instagram profile pic selfie photoshoot next to a pool.

One Pant Leg Rolled Up

Please, please, please try and bring this shit back. I double dawg dare you plus infinity. If you see a dude doing this there is a solid chance he just got out of Riker's after doing 15 bullets and is oblivious to present day fashion. Everyone thought this was the flyest shit to do with your pants since the invention of pants. Justin Timberlake probably had this on smash for at least 2-3 years himself. You know why artists like him eventually just start wearing suits all the time? Cause when they see old photos of themselves committing terrible fuckeries like this, they have no choice but to lock themselves into a suit and tie for life as punishment.

Pagers

Don't even try and get technical with me in the comments thunderdome unless you wanna get digitally bodyslammed into the fucking garbage because beepers were absolutely a fashion item too. I do not doubt for a second the idiocy of Tumblr rap fashion nerds, so I suspect resurrecting pagers is pretty high up on their list of things to do. Shit's like rollerblades. I never thought I'd have to deal with that ever again, but I constantly look up and catch some dude at the park, rolling by, blowing my whole summer high. Even though pagers don't serve one actual ass purpose anymore, don't think Elliot isn't gonna try and clip one to his tie-dye weed print bucket hat while he plays Gucci Mane dark wave haus songs on his terrible weekly podcast.